How do I tell my father?
By raynejasper
@raynejasper (2322)
Philippines
March 8, 2013 3:02am CST
My father came and he's at home right now. I plan to talk to him about me and my husband's separation. I know he is not in favor of this but as of now, it is the best thing to do since my husband has been living with his mistress for almost 3 years now. I don't like to continue living with him since he betrayed me over and over again. I don't love him anymore. What I care for very much is my daughter. She's only 4 and I want her father to support her financially. We may not be good husband and wife, but at least we could still be good mother and father of our child. My problem really is how to talk to my father since he is emo0tionally weak. I just hope he will open his mind and reconsider our situation. I'm really praying that God would intervene in our conversation so that we could understand each others views.
1 person likes this
13 responses
@angelkarah050182 (4980)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
Oh, goodluck. Just talk to him heart to heart. Explain to him that it's the best thing to stop your heartaches. Your husband has a mistress. That's not good. If you will stay being her wife I guess that will not bring happiness to you anyway. It's your life. You need to decide about it. I hope your father will give his blessings to you.
1 person likes this
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
I'm really praying that he would understand. Please help me pray.
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@angelkarah050182 (4980)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
I'll pray for you. Don't worry. God will take care of everything. Tell your father to be brave this time. It's for you and your daughter's future. He'll surely understand.
1 person likes this
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
Thank you. I'm just so sorry to say that i haven't talk to him yet. I'm still waiting for the right timing and still gathering my strength.
@xanderkage (100)
• India
8 Mar 13
You should try and make him understand that the relationship between you and your husband has ended and stretching this relationship further would only make matters worse.It would be difficult but i hope he would understand the situation and be okay with your decision of separation with your husband.
But the fact over here is that the decision that you are about to take is entirely yours coz you would be the one who would have to spend your life with the person...my suggestion would be that you should try to convince your parents about your decision but don't let their voice drown yours.In the end the decision should be yours.
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@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
Okay. I just need to explain myself well and clear. Huhuhu. So hard really. I'll update you guys. big thanks for your words. They made me feel stronger.
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
I'm so sorry to say that I haven't talked to him yet. He sleeps early that I couldn't find time to talk to him. He said he's not feeling so well. I'm waiting for the right timing.
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
8 Mar 13
I would hope that he opens his mind and heart to you when you explain that your husband is living with his mistress. It is never easy to talk to our parents on separation/divorces but I hope they understand that this is best for you and your little girl.
Stay strong and prayers to you.
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@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
Right. I'm really looking forward for his understanding. Thanks for your prayers. I do need them.
@thanks1961 (7035)
• India
8 Mar 13
Hi,
Such things are not new and quite common and happening around. But when it comes to you, it is really new and you have to take appropriate decisions for a better tomorrow. If you decided based on strong reasons and you have the confident that you can live/survive with yoru income for the future and have the will power and you are bold enough, you disclose the matter to your dad and find out his opinion and how better this issue can be resolved.
Also, if you are clear and genuine and cheated in the marriage, and he never disclosed about his earlir marriage, you can wind the claims in the court of law and can look for the compensation as well. Try your best and move ahead with a wise decision which will not hurt you so much.
All the best.
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@hereandthere (45651)
• Philippines
11 Mar 13
if your daughter is only 4 yrs old, yet he's been living with his mistress for almost 3 yrs already, then that says a lot about the kind of person he is. does your family know he's been cheating that long? if not, then i hope that fact alone will convince your father! besides, you're the one living with him and suffering, so it's unfair to you and your daughter.
just make sure he supports his daughter regularly because he's the father. maybe go to the nearest public attorney's office/pao to get legal advice so everything's on paper.
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@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
Yes, I was thinking of doing that so that i'll know what to demand from him.
@RiverLight (240)
• Romania
8 Mar 13
This is a dificult situation, it may be hard but you need to tel him because after all as a parent he'll surely want the best for you.Your husband has a mistress and this situation can't continue like nothing happened.You need to move on and the first step is to divorce him.Talk from the hart with your father, he'll probably be upset but in the end he'll understand.He will surely support you and your daughter, take care.
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@grkelly (1206)
• Malta
8 Mar 13
The most important thing is that with your words you show him that this is something that you really want to go for, because you believe that it is for the best. Your dad will surely want you to be happy and so he will abide with your decision if you explain well enough that this is the only option for yiour wellbeing at this point.
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@cityabbasdhoni1 (13)
• India
9 Mar 13
Do not hesitate to tell your father about this because one or the other day you have to tell him the early the better.
start the matter with you and your husband , how is he before and how is he now,
next tell about your daughter
tell your father that he is not taking responsible against you and your daughter
ask him what to do , tell him that you want to get separated from your husband
he will think and decide the same thing you thought
if he agrees with your decision go ahead
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@roshigo58 (4859)
• Pune, India
8 Mar 13
Hi,
You are going through very difficult situation. you have one little girl. It is very hard for you to tell your father about your separation from your husband. But you have to tell him slowly and taking into confidence that you are not happy with your husband's behavior with you. He will understand your feelings. Every father wants his child happy. You have to do this with gathering your courage.
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
yeah,I believe so. I'm just a little bit afraid and nervous. I really need to gather enough courage to face him.
@gowtham728 (232)
• India
9 Mar 13
you try to convey in indirect manner or tell and explain normally without any emotion or tears so that he wont feel and it wont affect his health physically and mentally.
@Kakamorata (5)
• United States
9 Mar 13
This is tough, but understand this, every father loves their children. Ask him to ask one on one and explain to him. You may cry, but its better than living with a lie. I am sure he will understand. On top of that I am sure he will be happy for you, to leave a man you don't like.
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