Bitter
By mayla tiu
@mayla531 (61)
Makati, Philippines
October 29, 2013 11:23am CST
No matter how I told myself to understand the situation, I still can't help myself to get mad at her.
I'm talking about the mother of my husband. My hubby and I have been together for 9 years. For 9, we've been sponsoring his parents financially. At first, it was fine but as years went by, as our kids grew up, it's bothering me that much. Our expenses are getting higher and higher since the two have been attending school already. We don't own our house so I dream of having one. But how can we?
I told my husband about this thing and he just told me to wait because his father's pension will be approved soon. I don't want to be called selfish but I feel that I need to. In fact, this topic has been the issue of our fights.
My mother-in-law and I are not friends. I don't want to build bridges because I want them to be sensitive about my family. If they can't afford to pay their electricity bill, why bother used it extravagantly? Why do they have to call my better half and cry that they couldn't pay for it? These are just few of those wishes that they asked from my hubby.
Guys, need your advice.
1 response
@Bluedoll (16774)
• Canada
29 Oct 13
"My mother-in-law and I are not friends." That says it all. You don't have to be friends but it would made your world easier. That can tear you apart. Your feelings do matter. Fighting will only hurt both of you later and what about your happiness in your new home when you do get it?
The money of course it counts.
I don't know what advice to give you, really. All you can do is talk to your husband about your financial. I suspect this is important to him so you should not just toss that importance away nor should it be - either the house or them. All you can do is budget for future expenses wisely, fairly.
@mayla531 (61)
• Makati, Philippines
30 Oct 13
I already talked to my husband about the financial aspect of the family. But my in-laws intercept all the time. My husband is the youngest of two. His brother works as a teacher but they never asked from him. In fact, they supported him financially too. It's just sad that they never stop asking or they never feel embarrass depending for 9 years. If my husband couldn't give, they are already mad.
@Bluedoll (16774)
• Canada
30 Oct 13
@mayla531
I guess the parents are pulling the strings. The problem is perhaps for you not to get involved and let your husband deal with them exclusive.
It sounds like there is little you are going to be able to do with this situation except take care of your family. It is so important not to let anything come between you and your marriage or anything to make life difficult for your children.
It is only a thought and not to be dwelled on or talked about I think, but maybe after his dad gets a pension there may be a chance to put some money aside for a down payment for a house? Also in time when his parents do pass away there may be a return on some or all of the "investment" money which is going their way now?
It seems like his parents are important to him so it is better to consider that important, than to force a change and lose something much more important to you, that is you taking on the role as the evil daughter in law. You should be "liked" because you are so giving and good at least that is what they should think and say about you. Maybe drop the subject altogether and see what happens in the more distant future? Just some thoughts not written in stone.
That would be what I would do if I were you but I know I am not you. Something only to think about here eh?
