Fruitful criticism is the core of learning how to be responsible humans
By Dim Morf
February 1, 2014 1:34am CST
One of the easiest and less complex thing for a human being to do is to judge others and exercise criticism. Let's admit it: Negative criticism is more frequent than positive one. Why? Because it seems a lot easier to do, has a more direct impact on the others' psychology, and draws better attention. Positive criticism on the other hand seems to be underestimated. You make a positive statement to someone, and it can either seem like a lie, or something that will be forgotten very quickly. Negative criticism on the other hand cannot easily be forgotten. What is the problem though? The thing is that negative criticism doesnot make us more responsible. Neither does positive criticism. In which cases? It can happen if the criticism creates more doubts and internal chaos than responsibility. When there is such impact, it can mean that we have wasted a lot of time and psychic energy without improving either ourselves or the others' behavior around us. In other words we criticise without instinctively and emotionally understanding why we did it. Is there any key to make amends? Of course. The tip is to start blaming the others for what happens to us. Fruitful criticism cannot be made to kill. It should be created to assist us on becoming better people. To exert criticism, someone must first have strong evidence that will help the other understand. He or she must first take responsibility of what he or she thinks and feels, before making any judgements. Criticism should be accompanied by acknowledgement. If you don't acknowledge the other person and his or her truth, even partially, then nothing good will come out of the whole dispute. At this difficult time period team spirit and good empathy is something many societies miss. But every good conversation that will result in making progress in our relationships and quality of life is destined to make us move forward to a better way of living.
1 Feb 14
Nice article but I do question the validity of whether a person is asking for or wants to consider a criticism even positive. Is this a point that is important or a consideration we need to make though? I am not sure. There is a line we cross. For example even right here under your article I've made a comment. Is it supportive, additional or more toward being a criticism? Not really sure. Regardless, all you said in your article reflects on the negative and positive. I think however that subject matter can be disagreed with and still be positive? Simplified example of what I meant. I do not agree, I think this might be wrong in my opinion because... - positive I disagree because the writer is being stupid. - negative
• Nicosia, Cyprus
1 Feb 14
Thank you so much for your response Bluedoll. This shows what constructive criticism is and it is accepted. I have been carefully reading your words. You are right not all criticism can be positive. I am certainly in favor of considering every criticism as information rather than a cause for further disagreement. The person who criticizes is the same as the person who yells. If you only hear his voice, you lose. But if you show true interest in his words, then even negative criticism can turn in everyone's favor.