May 12, 2014 9:56pm CST
I don't get my family sometimes. I am really upset today and not because this is the first time in months that I have been back to mylot. (been so busy with other things) but tonight my mother called me because two of my siblings called her because their half-sister says she saw me post things about them and their mother on Facebook. I did not post anything about them. I don't post anything personal about my family or myself on Facebook other than sharing pictures. I am into the truth movement. My Shares or post on Facebook has to do with the truth movement and or what is going on in the government. Then I am also really into education and the types of education there is, and what is wrong with education, so occasionally you get that type of stuff on Facebook from me. I am a blunt, honest person, who says it like I see it. My mother got so stressed because when she got the call, they threatened me. Talking about jumping me, because none of them individually can take me, as I have heavily studied self defense all my life from martial arts to weapons of all kinds. My mom has seizures she had a seizures over the stress of the threat. But I never posted the things they said I posted. I never mentioned my family at all on my Facebook page period in negative ways. If I mention a sibling in a post it is in a loving way. I don't talk about people on facebook or cause drama on facebook unless you count the controversial stuff I share with-in the truth movement. I never mentioned anyone of them at all this morning. Matter of fact the only post from this morning was posted was a comment I made about people in my home town spreading rumors that are not true that can cause family heart ache after reading a story about how after a fire that a child died in that now the grieving parents are now having to fight for their surviving child after people said they were making meth. Even though the fire investigator has ruled it electrical and there was no sign of Meth at all in the house. CPS took their baby and they are waiting the results of the drug tests to make sure there was nothing in their system. (They expected to get their baby back today.) but it is bull crap they have their baby taken away even for a day because of rumors that are not true. Apparently that was misconstrued to that I was talking bad about my brother and his mother. Saying horrible things that I never said. Then being accused of deleting it. So my solution to this was to just block them on Facebook. We don't have a relationship really anyways. My sister who is full siblings with this brother that I supposedly was talking about, got mad at me when my daughter decided to move out of her house and not babysit for her anymore because she wasn't paying her the $50 bi-weekly plus a room and food.The only thing she was giving her was a room. So my daughter moved out. I got yelled out for it and blamed. It was her decision to move out and I don't blame her I wouldn't be working 60+ hours a week babysitting for just a room either. (I was buying my daughter's groceries so she would eat, which my sister would go into her room and steal) I think this has to do with jealousy. Because my sister said that "Our dad loves me more." which is bull crap. Dad's favorite kid is the one in front of him, and loves all of us with all of his being. I am the baby of the family. Apparently when my brother and her get together they talk about me and talk about how I am the favorite. This just happen a couple of weeks ago and now this. I swear they are trying to create drama. I live a drama free life. I keep to myself for the most part, help when I can, but I accepted long ago that my sister being 15 years older than me and my brother 13 years older that I would never be close with them. But I have tried reaching out, but every time I try it is not returned. I can call all the time to talk and see how they are doing, but no one ever calls me. Relationships are a two way street and if they won't try back. I can only do so much. But it hurts me to my core. It makes me cry that they don't want to get to know me. It hurts to know they talk crap about me behind my back. When I have always had their back when people have given them crap. The only time they ever call me is if they need their computers worked on, or my big sis wants a loan. When my daughter was living with her, she would also call to complain about something my daughter did or didn't do that she thought she should have or hadn't done. Which isn't any of my business, as my daughter and her boyfriend have both graduated and are starting a family of their own. Their deal was between them didn't have anything to do with me. Even now with what they have done, I have not called them out on it publicly. Even this post about them is written under a pseudonym. Which only one person who I know IRL knows who I really am on here. And I know I can trust her with my feelings and heart not to create more drama because of this post. And I don't use any names so it can't be linked to them. What is sad is that this sister of mine has my other brother fooled. And I don't get how he can be so blind when it comes to her. She borrows money and doesn't pay it back, unless it is a small amount like $5 of $10. She still owes me a couple of hundred, and according to my sister-in-law (told in secret, I would never rat her out.) she owes our other brother thousands of dollars. But he always takes her side in everything even when my sister is in the wrong. Thankfully I have another sister that though plays a lot in the middle, she does call to say hey whats up and how are you and the kids doing. She calls when she needs to vent about things and calls me when she sees I need someone to vent to. (But I think she plays both sides and stirs up things when it suits her.) I feel bad for her when things happen like this because she gets stuck in the middle especially in he said she said situations. It has been bothering me that my sister said what she said, and said they all felt that way. I don't get it, but I have been thinking about it, and the only thing that makes sense to me is that they feel this way because my parents stayed together. My dad had kids from a previous marriage and so did my mom. I am the only child that is theirs together and they are still together today. I also am close to my parents, but it is because I make an effort to be. It hasn't always been that way. Dysfunctional doesn't even begin to describe my family growing up. I have tried to make it where my children have close bonds with family and since my family hasn't been receptive (except my parents) they are close to their dad's sides of the family and my husbands family. My children barely know their first cousins on my side of the family because my siblings ignore me. I don't even get invites to their children's parties though I always invite them to my kids parties. (they only come when I spend big bucks on the parties.) I am so thankful that my kids have grown up close and remain close even as my oldest flew the coop she stays close with her siblings on both sides mine and her father's other children. They have unbreakable bonds that I wish I had with my own siblings. But my siblings have never given me a chance to be their sister. I am not perfect but I am not a bad person. I am educated and keep myself educated by always learning new things and I admit when I am wrong. I am the first to apologize if I am in the wrong and normally the one to apologize when I am in the right too. I don't go around spreading rumors about people. I help out those in need when ever I can. I am dependable and loyal. Though I am blunt and don't have a filter and can come off as a know it all at times. Because I know a lot of information and study about all kinds of things. I love to learn and love to share the knowledge I have learned when I come across topics that interest me. I am a keeper of information, including researching of family tree and have more knowledge about it than anyone else in the family. But not only am I the keeper of the tree I am a keeper of secrets. I know everyone's secrets even secrets about my siblings that they wouldn't want out and I won't give those secrets up. I can listen very well and keep things to myself and not talk about it to others. I also am insightful about situations so much so when ever one of these siblings I am venting about gets into trouble the first person they call is me, because I know the law very well, or when their computers crash they call me because Best Buy charges $80 an hour or something ridiculous like that. Or when they get sick, because I have researched natural cures when my daughter was diagnosed with a terminal disease and I found a cure for her when modern medicine told me to prepare to make her comfortable till she died. (that is the oldest she is about to start her own family. I am gonna be a grandma towards the end of November.) I have paid my own way in life. I don't borrow money from my siblings ever. If I can throw them side jobs when I know they need money I do. I am sad that my siblings are this way with me, but I have tried and tried through out the years to build a relationship with them. I am tired of the drama they make up and tired of the hurt from the rejection they give me. I am tired of being their lapdog excited when they call me for something because they need me and at least I get to talk to them or see them, like a puppy dog waiting for their owner to come home. I am really hurt and don't want to be hurt like this anymore. So I am done. I blocked them on Facebook, before their redneck asses make things public. (I am a private person with my private life, no one needs to know my siblings are like they are) None of my siblings know where I live, because even though they have been invited they have never came to see my new place. I just needed to vent to put it out of my mind some where and because I don't talk about people to other people this is a way to vent and get it out.