NEED Advice QUICK!
May 13, 2014 6:26pm CST
What are his intentions to me? Autistic Girl Hard to read people.... WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS? TO be treated like this. Why do people treat other people like they don't have feelings, emotions... He acts like he is ashamed to be seen with me in public and I think he is playing mind games with me but I am not sure. It is hard to imagine someone you care about purposely being misleading and even downright cruel to you and trying to use you for what they can. When I act like I normally do, always do and make a joke or just talk to him the way we usually do, he ignores me, and acts almost as if I didn't say anything at all, really dismissively and gives me a look that implies if I open my mouth whatever I am saying is the stupidest thing he has ever heard. Hence that frowned eyebrow look, then looking straight giving no response to me. I think it is rude to not even acknowledge what I have said. This when literally 20 minutes ago we were just cuddling at home watching a movie and he was kissing my forehead cheek and tightly holding my hand. AKA interacting with me as natural and usual as can be- before we steeped out in public. He speeds up his steps almost as if he is trying to keep distance and move away from me. It is embarrassing because it looks funny to see someone following another person around. He acts as if we don’t know each other. If you see us together you would think it looked odd and probably wouldn't think we even knew each other. Like “why is that girl following him around like that?” He says he likes to look at a bunch of things at once so therefore he moves around a lot. SO what, act like you aren't in the store with another person...? Everyone browse but not at the speed he does as if he is trying to lose me and create distance. It got so bad I Said yo mind as well tell me to wait in car or at front of store. IT is blatantly obvious you don't want me near you when we are in store together. I am not going to chase you and keep trying to keep up with you. Why can't he walk with me like normal couples do and browse together? Talk, laugh just act natural not this little act he displays. He says is is just how he shops. When he is with his other friends he walks perfectly well with them.. Then a few moments later, we get back in car after all his odd behavior and it is like he is an entirely different person, he reverts back to "normal" does a 360 degrees change. He acknowledges me when I speak, laughs, jokes, wants to hold my hand, embrace me give me a hug, likes me to rest my head on his shoulder and acts like he is having the time of his life. Until the next time we are in public, around his friends. Then he does the Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde yet again, excuses ready when I act hurt. In private he is overly affectionate, and acts like we are the best of friends and it almost, “almost” seems natural. But there are other times when his behavior seems down right cruel and manipulative, misleading and deceptive. Like I am just a mark, or a game. Like there is an unspoken joke and I am the punchline. He treats me different when his childhood friend is around and I get the feeling he knows something I don't. The first time he meant me he made a rude, racist comment about me to him behind my back. There is something he knows he is not telling me. Always smirking at him and him when I am a the house and he just acts like there is something unspoken... He gives his friends the weariest looks when I am around. He literally salivates when he sees a certain race of women ( I am not ) and don't even remotely look like. HE loses all train of thought when he sees this type/race of women specifically. They have VERY distinct features hair ect. He claims he is grossed out by this race of women but he grew up around them, wants to move one day to a country full of them and flirted with one that looked very ethnic to this race of women right in front of me. Just a pretty girl of another race than me walks past, he will let go of my hand in heart beat. This women is not same race as him either. When he sees girls of my race he makes disgusted faces..He never checkes them out ect I told him if your more attracted to that look or a "certain look" no hard feelings let me go and pursue that, just don't mislead me. I told him you can't help what your attracted to. HE gets mad and says he is offended by me saying he is attracted to that race of women. Then we are around one that has very specific look to that race and he will drop my hand move away from me. He is so ensnared by them when out at dinner or shopping he has been known to stare at them to the point the girl, in some circumstances have noticed him glaring dotingly and then they ( the girl ) has started to smile and look back at him. ALL RIGHT In front of me. Like I am not even sitting there. What happens to our relationship at that time or is there really one? When he does hurtful things AND I TRY TO COMMUNICATE WITH HIM he denies it, tries to lay guilt trip on me and apologies all in same conversation.. Yet he is always inncoent of everything.He apologizes and says it hurts him to hurt me BUT he flat out denies he has done anything wrong. So what is he apologizing for. I have Autism but that isn’t synonymous with with idiot. Because of my condition people easily can take advantage of me. I may not notice things right away but once I do I remember every detail I missed, overlooked didn’t pick up on and it all hits me with full force at one time. By then I am already in the middle of something. If he is embarrassed of me why did he pressure me to meet his family. He has wanted me to meet his 6 sisters cousins. I was the first girl he has ever taken to meet his parents. At that on Mother’s Day when he said all his family would be there. HE pressured me to meet and have drinks with his coworkers. He said he wanted me to meet them because he wants me to become apart of his life. BUT on the drive to see his family he said he was going to tell them I was only his friend. When he noticed the look on my face and heard me tell me " then we shouldn't be holding hands and we shouldn't be affectionate to each other", then he changed it too,, "SO should I tell them we are dating, I Want to tell them we you are my girlfriend".... What is wrong with him? He acts overly affectionate in private then wants to call me his friend to everyone. Wants me to meet his family but isn't sure to say friend or girlfriend yet we sleep in same bed when at his house and he cuddles me alll night. WE HAVE NEVER had sex and I told him I am sexually abstinent. But besides that he is overly affectionate and lovelie dovey in private. Anytime I bring up us not being and putting up limitations to him touching me he puts on this whole " I am sad I couldn't go without touching you, I Long to touch and I Naturally have a ugre to touch you kiss you embrace you.. ( Me: Yeah as long as we aren't in public )... When I asked him if he was really happy with me and meant all his hubula about only wanting to be with me and seeing this work and I am the only girl he is thinking of and committed to, he said yes. I asked had he been searching the personals and dating websites since we had meant. He said no, not at all, he isn’t interested in any other girl and believes I am the right one for me and he is committed to me. Then I found out literally days after this, my suspicion was right, he was sending out emails to post for w4m dating personals on Criagslist. I seen some of them emails. He was in a rush for work, said I could use computer and pop up emails came up and he left windows open but had other windows on top of them. He is disorganized sometimes. He had sent these girls emails as if he was a single man desperately looking for Ms.Right. He send them each a unique email, no copy and past dating profile. So he reallly took his time to think about what he had to say. His emails brought up the look he likes which I don't fit and brought the message to home he is ready to settle down with someone special but haven't found her yet. He doesn't care about me and sure doesn't love me like he says. If he is looking why pressure me to meet his family, co-workers…? Why get his family involved in his messy little game with me? Wouldn't it make more sense for him to keep me away from them as much as he can… His family confirmed he doesn't bring girls around at all. There is no need to go all out for a girl your planning to dump and you are using. Why the confusing message. What is going on in this guy’s head?