my agitation, my burden...

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I have this person that I love so much... a person who since his childhood, I have learned to value tremendously that I cry and get angry when I see him do foolish things that would paralyze his future. He is someone, I have to admit, a person I have many things I don't like about. Yet, my heart couldn't just stop caring and loving him with all that I can. I know that I am lacking in many ways to show him how dear he is to me by providing him all what he needs. I am just but someone who is restless and limited in many ways to make sure he is living a good life. A good life maybe that is far to reach if not out of reach. My heart is pained so much seeing him live in difficulty from financial and material constraints, live in temporary shelter under the roof of our relatives- a place where he can't claim to be a home and a place where I couldn't reside with him daily, surrounded with people by whom many only see him as an awful and despicable young fellow and few who see him differently- with potentials and better than how terribly he had done before and most of all, have someone like me, his eldest sister, who can't do anything grand for him but just watch and give him pieces of advice, repeated over and over again, and he would not take seriously because she's no influential to him at all.