friends? Am I a friend?

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What is it to have the many so called friends when you don't have them when you needed them the most? When you don't pay the prize to go beyond just mere companions? Before, I thought I already had promising friends and likewise, thought to myself that I too was one. We had so much fun, enjoyed doing our favorite stuffs, went to beautiful places, took so many amazing pictures but had few times if not, never had any serious talks on serious matters and issues about our life. I could say, we were all but dealing with each other superficially. We never dared to open up to each other our predicaments except the obvious. We all hesitated to show how badly we felt inside. We seemed to be fearful of conflicts and never dared to confront each other. We seldom or never openly expressed or showed our fears, hesitations and weaknesses. We seemed to try our very best to cover up our most terrible side from each other. And when our friendship started to shake and each were confronted with the challenging and threatening situations we had to go through then, we did nothing but to watch and act as civil as we can like how none friends did. We were of less or no help and comfort to each other in a special way as real friends should. Up to now, we still cling to each other, get together as we did before but is still basking in the same shallow pursuits as we had in the past. Now, I really hope and pray that we go beyond superficiality and stick together as friends for life in spite of...