It's Friday

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As someone who routinely listens to Rush, Glenn and Jim talk about how there is no Global Warming on the Nazi Station, I once again want to request that all you law enforcement officials out there arrest them. And charge them with whatever it is you charge the people who scream "FIRE" in crowded theater or "HIJACK" at the airport with. You can't because you're too busy keeping us safe by eating donuts, writing seat belt tickets and shooting unarmed Black kids? Fair enough. I understand. It's frustrating but I understand. And it really doesn't matter anyway. It would be gratifying to see them finally go to prison but at this point, it wouldn't save any lives. They have already won the battle to destroy the planet and the entire human race along with it, anyway. Have you seen this yet: NASA sees unavoidable sea level rise ahead? If you bother to read it, you'll see that the experts are still pretty optimistic. The really bad stuff still won't happen for 100-200 years and they could be right but if you believe them, could I interest you in a bridge? I have two models to choose from. One on the East Coast and one on the West Coast. They are very affordable and if you'd like both of them, I can make you a package deal. I also have another one that I really don't want to sell because it's only about 2 miles from here and I use it a lot but you look like such a nice kid that I have to give you a crack at it: Centennial Bridge. Just between you and me, the other two are bigger and nicer and are in better neighborhoods but the Centennial will give you the most years of service before permanent irreversible flooding renders it useless. It's up to you, though, and take your time. This isn't a decision you want to rush into. They are priced to sell but that doesn't mean they're cheap and before you give me $250 for one of them or $600 for all three, think it over so you make sure you get the one that's right for you. While you think it over, why don't you have a drink? How about this one, the Theme Drink that Fifi, my Sommelier invented for tonight: ==================================== Global Meltdown Ingredients: 1 1/2 oz Dark rum (Meyer's) 1 1/2 oz Light rum (Bacardi) 2 oz Orange juice 2 oz Pineapple juice 1 1/2 tsp Grenadine 1/2 tsp Sugar 1 oz Bacardi 151 proof rum 2 Cherries 1 chunk Pineapple 1 cube Sugar Mixing instructions: Pour dark rum, light rum, juices, and grenadine over ice into a pilsner/parfait glass. Add the half spoon of sugar, stir slightly, and top with high octane 151 rum and cherries/pineapple. Add the optional sugar cube & light it up! ==================================== A half dozen or so of those will ensure that you won't make any reckless financial decisions tonight. So keep drinking and thinking before you give me a final answer (All sales are final. No refunds. If it were up to me, you could get your money back anytime but it isn't up to me. It's up to my Sales Manager and she's a real jerk). In addition to the drinking, further relax by playing a few rounds of tonight's Featured Party Game: Binders Full Of Girls And Boys Wearing I Love NY And I Love San Francisco Thongs. I don't want to harsh your mellow but you really need to love NY and SF tonight because the time to do so is growing short. Unless the elderly Conservative Crackpots who also tell you that all your problems are caused by Planned Parenthood, Immigrants and Women turn out to be right. That's all I have to say for the moment. Let me know when you're ready to talk about your new bridge. Here Are The Links: http://www.glennbeck.com/ http://www.woc1420.com/onair/jim-fisher-1936/ http://www.woc1420.com/main.html http://www.msn.com/en-us/weather/topstories/nasa-sees-unavoidable-sea-level-rise-ahead/ar-BBm7L1y?ocid=ansmsnweather11 http://www.nyc.gov/html/dot/html/infrastructure/brooklyn-bridge.shtml http://goldengatebridge.org/ http://www.johnweeks.com/river_mississippi/pagesB/umissB07.html