Fear of Being Unappreciated

Philippines
September 7, 2015 12:24pm CST
I don't know what it called about this fear of unappreciated. I have a friend who always worry. She is a mother. Her children is very frank. I think most of the children are very frank and if they are not, they just like to be sweet.She has four boys. If she prepares their lunch, she always think they will not like it and they did, they hate it. They do not hate their mother though, but they just freely say what they feel. They she develop this panic that every time she is doing something, she worries if her kids will like it. And to make it worst, she feels it in us too. She always says "What if they don't like it?" I find this kind of fear very ugly. How can I help her. I know I had advised her a lot of times but she is not listening to me.
5 people like this
6 responses
@gregario888 (1282)
• Aurangabad, India
9 Sep 15
But at the same time, I feel the lady should be firm in dealing with the kids. It is for the kids as well to appreciate what she does for them. Kids can be terribly selfish at times. A parent kid relationship should have mutuality.
2 people like this
• Philippines
10 Sep 15
Yes and should be evenly too or maybe the mother has this big love over her children.
@owstalaga (4509)
• Philippines
8 Sep 15
Ah she is suffering from low confidence. She should start developing a sense of confidence with what she does. She is the mother so she should be able to tell the kids what is right and wrong. If the kids don't like to eat what she cooks then she can buy food outside. If not then the kids can cook for themselves. She is being bullied by her kids. Tsk tsk.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Sep 15
I agree, she is being bullied by her kids and I wonder why she allows it to happen since she is a mom. I think mom should be respected and she should show her authority. Instead of saving money, they can't because she allows her children to have what they want.
1 person likes this
@owstalaga (4509)
• Philippines
9 Sep 15
@grecychunny26 I saw a post from the Oprah website. I think she is the Clingy type... They have to be shown how to deal with the situation. Maybe teach her how to be in control and not be too soft hearted. She has to learn how to discipline them as early as now. Where is the husband anyway? And where are her parents why did they not teach her how to be a parent? It's good she has you as a friend. I hope you really get to convince her to be stricter as a parent. Good luck!
Shift Your Life ADVERTISEMENT By Deepak Chopra Photo: Sam Edwards/Caiaimage/Getty Images 2 of 7 Clingers Clinging types want to be taken care of and loved. They feel weak and are attracted to stronger people. If desperate, they will cling to anyone. What
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Sep 15
@owstalaga thank you sis for this one. I will read it now. The husband is out in the picture as they are separated sis. She is the only parent although the husband gave her money to supply for the needs of the kids.
1 person likes this
@gregario888 (1282)
• Aurangabad, India
8 Sep 15
The child in us cannot do without the strokes, or the appreciation. That is one reason one should be always lavish in doing just that. A few words can really pep up the person to whom they are addressed to.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Sep 15
I agree to that too. Thank you.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Sep 15
It's either she has an anxiety problem or is simply a big worrier. I hope it's the latter though. I worry a lot too but it's a temporary feeling that goes away as soon as I have assured myself that everything is going to be okay. If your friend worries too much that it already affects her on a daily basis, then it could lead to something serious. As a friend, there's only so much you do for her, I guess it would help her if you constantly appreciate what she's doing and being there for her when she's in panic mode.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Sep 15
Yes it affects because she is wasting her time thinking about it and we are annoyed by her texts that she needs our recommendation.Like she is over thinking whenever she is doing something for her children. We get annoyed but we still concern about her and this needs to be stop.
@etavasi (739)
• Malaysia
7 Sep 15
I think that feeling is good, because she always make sure, does she do the best one, or make it prefect for her children. Haha but it different when we hear that, like we feel that ugly. Maybe you can just advice and say to her that she already do the best and do not worry much.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Sep 15
Yes, I really think she is doing good even on the first time. She just want to give the best for her children and if she says being best, she needs them to appreciate what she can do for them. I don't want her to worry that much because it stresses her. I want her to lessen that kind of fear.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Sep 15
She has all boys? Maybe her problem is that..she feels some sort of inferior..not good. I hope she will be able to take charge and not let her kids control her like that. It is uncommon I feel. I do not know how to help her, but she needs to get a grip and know she is in charge.
• Philippines
7 Sep 15
Yes, you are right Ocean. That is actually we are advising her because she knows what she is doing. When the kids does not appreciate what she had done, we advised her to tell her kids that it is best for them, they are not always right anyway, they are just her children. Mommy knows best.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Sep 15
@grecychunny26 Yes and they need the boss haha
1 person likes this