How do you stay detached?

Mauritius
September 8, 2015 5:34am CST
I get too attached with things and people around me. This create such a relationship of deep emotions that make it difficult to let go. I want to stay detached and not to be materially involved in things or into people’s lives. I want to be a free spirit – to care but not to be part of people’s dramas. How do you stay detached? What advise do you have for me, based on your personal experience?
3 people like this
6 responses
@sofssu (14470)
9 Sep 15
Kevin, it takes time to separate yourself from your emotions. I am emotional when it comes to my loved ones, But I can also stand back and see things as they are. It takes a lot of practice to see things objectively. I have taken years to get there.. I am not saying that you would too.. maybe you will be faster. I am not attached to stuff and it is a feeling of inner strength and freedom to be able to do that. It fills you with so much peace.
1 person likes this
• Mauritius
10 Sep 15
I can relate to what you meant. This is how I want to be - a detached observer. It really takes a lot of time. I hope one day I manage to increase this strength in me. Thank you for your response.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (63016)
• India
9 Sep 15
It all comes with practice and bad experiences. When one has a bad experience that itself is good enough to get detached from situations that bind one.
1 person likes this
• Mauritius
10 Sep 15
I don't support this view though. When I said 'detachment', I intended to say detachment from everything - the good and the bad.
• United States
9 Sep 15
It is not easy to become detached when you are used to it. Breaking yourself off completely can only complicate things, which is why I advise to start little by little. Imagine this. You're a heavy metal chain with lots of metal rings to attach other metal chains to. You have about ten of them, each one attached to another chain whose metal rings also are attached to more and more. This is a representation of you and the people around you. In order to break free, you can't just break the entire chain in half. You still have the other chains you need to unhook from. So this is what you do. You release your metal hook from one chain. Then you repeat with your other metal hooks. Little by little until finally, you're free. There is no going back, because once you go back, the chains are even tighter, stronger than before. This is what I had to do. I had to distance myself away from the drama that people brought. Despite being a very caring person, this took too much on me, and I had no choice but to delete my account to rid myself of the drama makers, too many to block, and to start over with a new account and people I know I could have excellent discussions with. It's not easy, but take it day by day and it becomes a habit. Staying detached doesn't mean you don't care, it just means you believe they are strong enough to get through their problems without you. However, do not let detachment prevent you from caring. It is okay to detach from some things, but when there are serious situations, you may find you are needed, or that some day, you will need someone. We are all here to help each other, and to give each other a much needed break.
1 person likes this
• Mauritius
10 Sep 15
Thank you for sharing your views. It's true that being detached does not mean not caring. It means caring but not getting dragged into peoples' dramas and not allowing oneself to get consumed by peoples' energies.
1 person likes this
@Gina145 (4004)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
8 Sep 15
It's not good to get too attached to things, though I have to admit that I do it myself too. When it comes to people however, I think attachment is important. We all need people we care about in our lives.
1 person likes this
• Mauritius
10 Sep 15
It depends how we both understand 'attachment' here. I don't think attachment, as I understand it, is important. We can still care and love by being detached. In doing so, our whole definition and appreciation of caring and loving changes to something more subtle and meaningful.
1 person likes this
@thesids (22359)
• Bhubaneswar, India
8 Sep 15
When you say - to care but not to be part of people’s dramas. It means, you want to get attached to the good things of the people only and stay detached with their bad "parts". This is simpler. Just ignore the things that you dont like. But if you want a complete detachment, that is difficult and long term. And trust me, 99% of people will not like/appreciate your behaving in that way.
1 person likes this
• Mauritius
10 Sep 15
Thank you for your response. I do ignore what I think is not right for me without wondering what people think of me.
@gregario888 (1282)
• Aurangabad, India
8 Sep 15
Detachment, or indifference, is not easy if you are an emotional being. While on the opposite end, some folks might find it just natural. But then, the fun in life is in staying involved, or attached. Though at times it becomes pretty taxing.
1 person likes this
• Mauritius
10 Sep 15
I would rather go for the 'balance' between attachment and detachment. I have nothing big to lose in this way.