It's Time To Get Rid Of The Republican Party

Wapello, Iowa
September 17, 2015 8:35am CST
I didn't stick around long enough to find out who CNN and MSNBC think won the big debate last night (Let the sparks fly: Carly Fiorina takes on Donald Trump). I assume they're saying that Donny won...I saw some headlines that suggest otherwise but how could you not see that Donny will get another huge surge in the polls? I also didn't check with FOX...Nor did I have to because I'm sure they are saying that Ronald Reagan won. Speaking of Ronnie, I want to mention, while I'm thinking about it, that holding the GOP Debate in the world's biggest shrine to an useless, old, stupid and dangerously senile white man was a stroke of genius. Oh, in case you missed it, I guess I should tell you it was held in the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library. And, like I just said, it was the most fitting place for the debate. With that in mind, I want to tell you the most eerie thing that happened last night. Very early in the evening, almost as if on cue, during the Kid's Table portion of the Debate, Bobby Jindal, just like the painfully retarded kid found in many Stephen King novels, just out of the blue said a bunch of things that made a lot of sense. Smart, valuable things that you would never in a million years expect a painfully retarded kid to say. It started with, "It's Time To Get Rid Of The Republican Party," and then he riffed on that same theme for about two minutes. It wasn't the first time Bobby has had a retarded kid from a Stephen King novel type of brilliant moment. The first time was in 2012 (Bobby Jindal: GOP Should 'Stop Being The Stupid Party'). It's entirely possible that Bobby has had many more moments like that, too, but we'll never know cause...Well, he's the retarded kid that no one ever listens to until it's way too late. Well, it's not too late for us...Except for those of you in my Beloved Conservative's too late for the GOP. They didn't listen to the retarded kid in 2012 and they won't listen now. So for us, the whole thing is just funny. And eerie. Because if they would listen and do full a full PR make-over including a new baggage free name, they would have a fighting chance of retaking the White house. And that would be disastrous because you know they would only change the sales technique. The stupid unworkable ideas and positions would remain the same. Could Donny somehow win anyway (If you seriously think any of those other clowns would even have a ghost of a chance, you're even more retarded than Bobby and/or the retarded kid from one of Steve's books)? Sure. Anything CAN happen but you have to live your life according to probabilities. For instance, you're far more likely to be killed in your own bathroom than any other place on Earth but you still go to the bathroom, don't you? It's also the likeliest room in the house to have a hidden camera...Which won't kill you UNLESS you die from embarrassment when you realize that everyone with an Internet connection has seen you take a shower. And yet, even that doesn't keep you out of the bathroom. For the same reason, you shouldn't worry about Donny becoming President. That's about it for this one. Except for one closing note...Oh! There is one other thing before I get to the one closing note. Donny pointed out what a failure Scott is right to his face and if you get a chance to watch it, you should because it's awesome. Even if you've already seen it, watch it again. OK, now for the one final thing. Art decided to not cover the debate last night on Midnight In The Desert because he said he figured you'd already had enough politics for one day (Do you people who complain to me about stupid boring American politics write to Art, too?) so there is a gap there that I must fill. I did it by having Miss Bunni, my Chief Executive Vice President In Charge Of Mystical Affairs and Head Astrologer assemble my Remote Viewing Team. I asked them, "What would have happened if Art had asked his audience to determine the winner of the Debate?" The answer is that Bigfoot would have won by a landslide, beating The Loch Ness Monster, 88% to 7%...Which is weird because it's almost the same as the next poll is going to show Donny and Ben Carson. Anyway, the other 5% was split among assorted ghosts, aliens, shadow people, demons and lizard people. So there you go. Art's audience might not always get the names right but they do a really good job with the numbers. Here Are The Links: 2015/09/16/politics/republican-debate-cnn-2016/index.html
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1 response
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
17 Sep 15
I read an article on Politicus that stated Bernie Sanders was the big winner of the GOP debate.
1 person likes this
• Wapello, Iowa
17 Sep 15
I think so, too and I sure hope it's right.