SOFT Bank? More Like HARD Bank!

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The Japanese firm, SoftBank Mobile, have developed what they call an "emotional robot". This machine of metal and blinking lights can learn human emotions such as empathy, love, and joy. The idea, obviously, is so dudes like me have something to talk to other than Alex Trebeck on Jeopardy ("What is Polish Sausage dummy!!"). And you can have one of your own for less than $2,000! That's less than it costs to buy a baby on the black market. A bargain! There is, however, an additional monthly fee of almost $400, but you know, it's a robot that LEARNS THINGS. I was sold and about to pull out my credit card when I read the fine print. You can, in no way, shape, or form, sexually harass or even have sex with the robot or else you violate your contract! They are even putting pictures of breasts in the robots chest display to check for sexual harassment. Like a DUI checkpoint for perverts. So now what's the point? Why would anyone want a machine they CAN'T have sex with? Have you ever seen a man when he thought he was alone with a vacuum cleaner or silk bedspread? The next time you think the cleaner is clogged because of the filter, better put on gloves and get the Lysol. Give most men a pop can and a rubber band and he'll figure out a way to have sex with it. We are like horny MacGuyvers that way. So no robot for me until this injustice is dealt with. It's a shame too. Because I bet it's a really good cuddler afterwards.