This Week's Sermon
Rock Island, Illinois
September 27, 2015 3:03pm CST
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? ~~~The Apostle Paul (Romans 8:31) Guten Tag! Before I rush back to Germany...Yes, sorry. This week's Sermon will be brief again because my mission, given to me by God Himself, to save the souls of as many Oktoberfest attendees as possible, is still taking the majority of my time. I urge you to not be sad about that. Instead, keep in mind that if God did not need me to drink beer in Munich, He would not have sent me. Secondly, be thankful for what He has given you instead of complaining about Him only giving me a few minutes to spend with you today. Also be mindful of all your other blessings. Like what, you ask? Like this, I answer: Kentucky clerk in gay marriage dispute switches to Republican Party. Kim Davis is no longer fouling the Democratic Party with her inhuman stench. And this: Poll: Ben Carson, Donald Trump run neck-and-neck. That means that Donny is going to have to drop his unassuming, humble approach to campaigning and get mean. While at the same time, Ben is going to have tone down is aggressiveness and the net result is that both will appeal more to the Conservative Base while at the same time becoming even more unelectable to the masses. Then there's this: Navy SEALs ready to open doors to women. That one is going to give my friend Jim a stroke because any plan that doesn't require women being barefoot, pregnant and chained to a stove gives him a stroke. And it's twice as bad when said plan involves the military. Last but not least, The Simpsons begin their new season tonight: It's not just the Duff making Homer Simpson sleepy -- he has narcolepsy. Do you see now? You are awash in riches! Trickle Down Divine Blessings Theory does work! God gives me a few weeks at Oktoberfest (This NOT a vacation, mind you. I am WORKING!) and the blessings flow down onto you. All boats rise on this tide of beer! Don't you feel foolish now for complaining that you don't get to drink any of the beer? Don't worry, God forgives you. More importantly, so do I. Our time together has reached its' end for this week so kindly fill the collection plates with all the Dollars and Euros you have and then go forth and prepare for another week filled with blessings. ~~~AMEN~~~ Here Are The Links: http://www.cnn.com/2015/09/27/politics/ben-carson-donald-trump-poll-2016/index.html http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/navy-seals-ready-to-open-doors-to-women/ar-AAeNGPp http://www.woc1420.com/onair/jim-fisher-1936/ http://www.cnn.com/2015/09/25/health/narcolepsy-homer-simpson/index.html
A county clerk in Kentucky who was briefly jailed for refusing to issue marriage licenses to gay couples said on Friday that she and her family have switched to the Republican Party because the Democrats no longer represented them.