I Figured This Out.

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I've finally figured out how to tell how people are doing in their life. It was there all along but being the simple minded buffoon that I am, it took me awhile to see it. This is, like, a "secret of life" thing. But instead of making you all climb a mountain to see me in my robe and Hare Krishna haircut, I'll just share it here instead. Because climbing is hard and there's no wi-fi up there. I've come to the conclusion that your lot in life is determined by how much matching stuff you have. If you have 8 plates, 4 glasses, and 8 bowls that are all part of the same set, you're doing well. I have one black plate, two mismatched yellow flowered plates (that are also different sizes) and for some reason, more bowls than anything else. I rarely use bowls. But when someone says they're getting new dishes and ask if I want a bowl, I accept. My best set of dishes can be described as "plastic with lids". And if you have matching furniture, you're doing very well. My navy blue futon that I use for a couch, polka dot bean bag chair, and a really ugly green striped chair I picked up at a yard sale do NOT spell success. I also have two end tables. One is tall and round, the other is shorter and square with that one wobbly leg that I have no idea how to fix so I have a folded piece of cardboard underneath it. When people come over I have to tell them not to put a glass on one end so it doesn't tip over. I think when you have to give people instructions for your furniture, it's a sign of impending poverty and homelessness. At least I'm dressed for the part. What does your stuff say about you?