Would you tell your girlfriend?
By Joanie
@Freelanzer (10744)
Canada
October 5, 2015 1:16am CST
I was visiting a girlfriend of mine when it got late and it was time to go home. My friend asked her boyfriend to take me home. She didn't come along. Just minutes into the ride her boyfriend started to ask very personal questions. I felt quite uncomfortable but didn't want to appear impolite. In any case I was trapped. He then asked if he could take me out sometime on a date. I said I couldn't go out with my friend's boyfriend, that it just won't be right. This happened a long time ago but I still wonder if I did the right thing. You see, I never told my friend about the incident. Have you ever been in a situation where your friend's boyfriend hit on you? Would you tell her?
Image credit Pixaby
11 people like this
11 responses
@Kchitij2007 (445)
• Pune, India
5 Oct 15
Well it's always a good thing to do, if you're close with your girlfriend; there's no reason not to yell pig-alert! 
4 people like this
@Freelanzer (10744)
• Canada
5 Oct 15
It is hard to know how a friend will react to such news. Would they accept it graciously or will there be some jealousy and she may eventually side with the boyfriend
3 people like this
@Freelanzer (10744)
• Canada
5 Oct 15
@Kchitij2007 I get your point. We were very close but human nature is as such we never know. I feel it is my duty to preserve our relationship. What if she is annoyed with me for telling her her boyfriend is a cheater? what if he tells her I am the one coming on to him? who would she believe? I could never know the operation of her mind until it happens. Women often take the sides of their partner, Yet I wonder if we would still be friends if I had told her. It is a tough call
3 people like this
@Kchitij2007 (445)
• Pune, India
5 Oct 15
@Freelanzer Well that's why i said that you tell her only if you're close to her because you will agree as a friend it is your duty to save her from a guy who is obviously a cheat-in-making.
3 people like this
@jstory07 (134752)
• Roseburg, Oregon
5 Oct 15
You handled it the right way by telling him NO. So unless it happens again. do not say anything to her.
@Freelanzer (10744)
• Canada
5 Oct 15
It was a long time ago and I know they are not together now but they did continue to date for a year after that
2 people like this
@vandana7 (99024)
• India
5 Oct 15
@Freelanzer ..if she knows then she has identified a reliable friend in you, isn't it?
1 person likes this
@Freelanzer (10744)
• Canada
5 Oct 15
I guess the question is will it even help her. What if she already knows he has wandering eyes. Hard to tell
2 people like this
@Freelanzer (10744)
• Canada
6 Oct 15
I am glad you asked that. The answer is no,he was not my type.
1 person likes this
@CookieMonster46 (13447)
• United States
5 Oct 15
actually yes, long ago, this person i dated, we broke up long ago, he then dated a girl I knew, they broke up. He called me asked me out, I said no, i hadn't seen him in years, they got back together, I never told her. she had to learn the hard way with him, He ended up cheating on her, but once again she took him back.
In a way you did the right thing, not telling her nothing as sometimes women stick by their man and may not believe it. A man can put a different spin on what actually happened. to save himself with the girlfriend. Depending how much she loves him, she could believe him over you. I would't have answered anything he asked, what a idiot he was. Are they still together?
2 people like this
@Freelanzer (10744)
• Canada
5 Oct 15
That was exactly my reasoning at the time. I had no idea how she would react and feared that it would end our relationship
2 people like this
@CookieMonster46 (13447)
• United States
5 Oct 15
@Freelanzer , I would believe my friend, but doesn't mean every friend would believe. This one boyfriend I was with if, someone told me he flirted, I would have believed them. I just know he would have blamed the other person, he always likes to blame others for everything big part of why we didn't last long ago.
1 person likes this
@Freelanzer (10744)
• Canada
5 Oct 15
@CookieMonster46 I think I would believe my friend if she told me too but I have also heard stories of other friends who dumped their girlfriend because they were told. I also feel that deep down you know if you ave a boyfriend with a wandering eye.
1 person likes this
@shivuspeaks (111)
• Delhi, India
6 Oct 15
I once went through something similar. I didn't tell my friend. But the guy later left her, she was badly hurt. It was only then i realized that i should've told her. It was a tough call then.
1 person likes this
@Freelanzer (10744)
• Canada
6 Oct 15
It is indeed a tough decision to make and only the person in that situation can decide what to do. I don't think there is any right or wrong answer
1 person likes this
@owstalaga (4707)
• Philippines
29 Oct 15
Depends if he seemed like he's just joking to make a conversation. But that in itself is still a bad joke. I don't think I'd tell my friend about it until after they break up, if they ever do. I had this happen to me before, the bf was hitting on me without me realizing it back then. 
@Tampa_girl7 (49184)
• United States
5 Oct 15
I know that must have been so awkward.
1 person likes this
@Freelanzer (10744)
• Canada
6 Oct 15
Talk about awkward. I felt trapped and that I had to be very careful with my response.
@bluesa (15023)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
5 Oct 15
I have a temper all my friends know that, and so, if a friends boyfriend hit on me, and I blew my fuse and told her, she would believe me, so I would. But, I have known many friendships destroyed by such a situation. So it's a tough one to decide.
1 person likes this
@Freelanzer (10744)
• Canada
5 Oct 15
It is a tough one and I too know of some friends who are no longer friends after the beans were spilled
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (207003)
• Walnut Creek, California
11 Oct 15
I HAVE been in a situation where my girlfriend's female friend hit on me, and it was very awkward. Sadly, I judged my girlfriend for it, wondering what kinds of friends she has. I think it put a strain on our relationship, actually. A slightly different situation (I now realize) but similar.
