5 Things We Should Say To Our Children

@sgbrown (1643)
United States
January 27, 2016 7:31am CST
Yesterday, I wrote a piece on 5 things we should never say to our children. I thought that should be followed with 5 things that we should be saying to our children. Our children are precious gifts and we need to let them know just how precious they are to us. I know there are so many things we need to convey to our children, but as a start, here are what I would consider to be the top 5 things we should say to our children. 1. I Love You – Tell your children you love them, everyday! A parent’s love is unconditional, we will always love our children, no matter what they do. Tell them so, tell them you love them even when they are being bad. Make them understand that you may need to punish them for something they did, but you still love them with all your heart. 2. I’m Proud of You – Even at an early age, our children want our approval and praise. Tell them you are proud of them, for even their smallest accomplishments. Giving your children praise for a job well done will help build their self-confidence. 3. Everyone Makes Mistakes – No one is perfect, making mistakes are just a part of life. Let them know that. Don’t make them think you expect them to be perfect. When they make a mistake, tell them why it was a mistake and that they need to learn from it. 4. It’s All Right to be Scared – Let them know that everyone is scared of something. We are mostly afraid of the unknown and there are so many things that unknown to little children. Find out what frightens your child and help them to understand their fear. Fear is not a bad thing, it is what you do with that fear that matters. 5. Be Kind to Others – Kindness is so important. I don’t think this is stressed enough in childhood these days. Tell them if they want someone to be kind to them, they need to be kind first. Kindness is contagious, let’s teach our children spread it around! It’s so important to reassure our children and let them know that we are there for them. Good times or bad, we are there to support and love them, always and forever! @GardenGerty has also written a very good post on the subject of how we should praise and encourage our children. It definitely deserves your attention! Here is the link:
One of my friends here ( @sgbrown) has posted two great discussions. One, yesterday, included five things we should never say to our kids. She followed up by...
17 people like this
13 responses
@Platespinner (16491)
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
27 Jan 16
I would add #6 The world does not revolve around you and #7 be willing to accept responsibility for your own actions. It is important to let them know that they are loved and that we are proud of them, but real respect for others and a certain amount of humility are important as well.
9 people like this
@GardenGerty (99286)
• United States
27 Jan 16
My version of this is "Life isn't fair." Which is what we told our children. It is not fair but it is good. When my son was seven he was explaining this to another seven year old who had lost a board game to him and complained "It's not fair". while being cared for at my house. Your words do come back to haunt you.
4 people like this
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
27 Jan 16
@GardenGerty My mother-in-law tries to always make everything fair, to the point of giving all four of my children the exact same gift (and they all disliked it equally).
4 people like this
@sgbrown (1643)
• United States
28 Jan 16
@Platespinner I would agree with both of these, but especially your #7. Too many times children want to lie or blame someone else for something. It is very important that they learn to take responsibility for their actions. That's definitely a good one, Joanne!
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (99286)
• United States
27 Jan 16
I am going to expand on your great ideas a little. On number 2, tell them you are proud of them, not for something they can not control, but for a concrete thing they have done. In other words NOT "You are so pretty, I am proud of you" but rather, "You brushed your hair and put on clean clothes and you always have a smile, I am proud of you." So that when they reach an awkward stage of not being so physically attractive, they still know that they make you proud. Before I write a book here, I would like to borrow some of your ideas and make my own post. I gained some insight from what you said.
6 people like this
@sgbrown (1643)
• United States
28 Jan 16
Great "expansion", @GardenGerty and very true! I have read your post and it is very good!
@TRBRocks420 (77546)
• Banks, Oregon
27 Jan 16
I agree you should always let your kids know you love them and, they are important, also to treat others how they would want to be treated.
4 people like this
@sgbrown (1643)
• United States
28 Jan 16
Definitely, @TRBRocks420 When our little granddaughter gets a little "mouthy", I ask her, "How would you like it if someone talked to you like that?" That usually does the trick!
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (99286)
• United States
28 Jan 16
@sgbrown My son was pretty mouthy at fourteen and I called him on it. I told him what he was saying made me feel bad. He broke into tears and said "Mom, can't you see I am trying?" and that cleared the air on the subject and banished that particular bad scene.
1 person likes this
@sgbrown (1643)
• United States
31 Jan 16
@GardenGerty Most times, having a discussion and "clearing the air" solves the problem. I'm sure he didn't realize that he was making you feel bad and you probably weren't aware that he was trying to do better.
@JudyEv (123167)
• Bunbury, Australia
28 Jan 16
Great post. I think today's young parents would welcome some of these tips and guidelines.
3 people like this
@sgbrown (1643)
• United States
28 Jan 16
Thank you, @JudyEv It seems that too many young parents don't really seem to care about these traits anymore. I hope I am wrong.
1 person likes this
@Marcyaz (35670)
• United States
27 Jan 16
I believe we should tell our children we love and are proud of them not just when they do something especially good but even for the ordinary everday things they do to help us.
3 people like this
@sgbrown (1643)
• United States
28 Jan 16
I agree, @Marcyaz Things are things that we should say to our children any time!
@jaboUK (53935)
• United Kingdom
27 Jan 16
A very well thought-out post Sheila, and all excellent things which we should tell our children. I particularly like the kindness one - if they grow up to be kind most other good traits will follow.
3 people like this
@sgbrown (1643)
• United States
28 Jan 16
Thank you, Janet! Yes, if a child learns to be kind, other good trails will follow!
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@nanette64 (17610)
• Fairfield, Texas
27 Jan 16
Those 5 are excellent @sgbrown . Out of anything you could have listed, those 5 have the biggest impact on a kid.
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@Drosophila (16711)
• Ireland
27 Jan 16
Very wise words.. I don't plan to be a parent, but I will be sure to remember these
2 people like this
@sgbrown (1643)
• United States
28 Jan 16
Thank you, @Drosophila I didn't plan on being a parent either. I used to say that I would adopt a grown child when I was old and alone. LOL Then hubby came along and all that changed. Children can bring you such joy and a little heart ache, but it is all worth it!
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16711)
• Ireland
28 Jan 16
@sgbrown Great to hear.. am just not a very maternal person, and having children has never greatly appealed to me. Good to hear you're enjoying parenthood
1 person likes this
@sgbrown (1643)
• United States
31 Jan 16
@Drosophila I do understand. I had a friend that told me the only reason she got pregnant was because I and another friend of our were. She thought it would be "fun" for us to have our children grow up together. After her baby was born, she realized that was not really a good choice for her.
1 person likes this
@cherigucchi (4778)
• Philippines
28 Jan 16
These are good reminders for good parenting. Thanks for sharing. I can hear myself telling these already to my kids.
2 people like this
@sgbrown (1643)
• United States
28 Jan 16
Thank you, @cherigucchi
@Auntylou (4318)
• Oxford, England
28 Jan 16
These make sense though I have heard that we should not praise our children too much, rather that we should say, I bet you feel good about what you did
1 person likes this
@sgbrown (1643)
• United States
28 Jan 16
I have heard the same thing, I think a combination of the two would probably be best.
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@Auntylou (4318)
• Oxford, England
28 Jan 16
@sgbrown I think you are probably right
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@Morleyhunt (19750)
• Canada
28 Jan 16
And hugs and cuddles are so important. I remember the cuddles with myopa when I was 10 or 11 years old. I treasure that memory.
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@sgbrown (1643)
• United States
28 Jan 16
Oh yes, @Morleyhunt Those hugs and cuddles are the best! I too can remember cuddling with my grandma and how wonderful that felt!
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@scheng1 (24800)
• Singapore
9 Feb 16
The part about mistakes need more explanation, especially when people always say to learn from mistakes. The best is to learn from the mistakes of others, so that we do not make the same mistake.
@mom210 (6761)
• Atlanta, Georgia
28 Jan 16
Great list, you have done a good job with this.