This is the First and Last Time I will Talk about This

By G
Philippines
January 31, 2016 8:10am CST
In my previous work I had a best friend. We were really close. I know everything about her, the same way she knows all about me. When she got pregnant, out of wedlock, I was there for her all throughout her ordeal. She was with me during my heartbreak. She got me as a godmother of her daughter. When I transferred in a branch, we had little communication but we remained friends. Then when I transferred to a new job back to the city, we met once. I was turned off by her dislike to walk to meet up for lunch somewhere near my office. But just the same, I adjusted and I was the one who walked far so that we could meet. That is almost a year from now. We have not met again yet. If I will not call her or send her a message, we would not communicate. I sent a Christmas gift for her daughter and she sent a thank you message. She did not greet me for Christmas and new year. I did not bother. Perhaps I got tired of always initiating, always being the one to care, and always being the one to adjust. I am not sure if this just a phase or the riendship is really over. So hard to keep a one-way friendship I guess. I wonder what went wrong.
18 people like this
15 responses
@boiboing (12527)
• Northampton, England
31 Jan 16
When you're there for someone in the bad times, they don't always want you around for the good ones.
4 people like this
• Philippines
31 Jan 16
Right. Maybe because when you are there during the bad times you become a reminder of that.
1 person likes this
@boiboing (12527)
• Northampton, England
31 Jan 16
@nottoooldtowrite EXACTLY! It's happened to me a few times. Walk away and let her run after you or not.
2 people like this
• Greece
31 Jan 16
@nottoooldtowrite That is a fair comment I think, people who want to forget the past throw out the baby with the bathwater. I lost contact with my best friend gradually over a period of time, but I made contact with her on her birthday years later. We have become best friends again now. I am so glad that I got her back into my life again.
2 people like this
@Missmwngi (9697)
• Nairobi, Kenya
31 Jan 16
It must be hard and i guess she is done with you,sorry it has to end this way
2 people like this
• Philippines
1 Feb 16
Yeah. sad but true.
2 people like this
@Missmwngi (9697)
• Nairobi, Kenya
1 Feb 16
@nottoooldtowrite Don't free bad though since you did try your best as a friend
2 people like this
• Philippines
1 Feb 16
@Missmwngi yup. I was just wondering but I am totally okay.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (49116)
• United Kingdom
2 Feb 16
She is probably so busy with her daughter that everything else falls by the wayside. Little ones need so much attention, especially if she has no man to help her. When the child is older she may have more time for you. As you were such good friends I wouldn't sever all ties completely - she may need you more than you know.
2 people like this
• Philippines
2 Feb 16
She is married with the father of her daughter who is turning 8 on September. We could at least have breakfast or lunch together as we work in the same area. I just see no effort from her to continue the friendship. Not even a minute to talk or send a message? Sigh..
2 people like this
@jaboUK (49116)
• United Kingdom
2 Feb 16
@nottoooldtowrite Oh right - I thought the daughter was still a baby and that she was unmarried. I take back what I said, sorry.
2 people like this
• Philippines
2 Feb 16
@jaboUK it just means that for the last 7 years I always initiated our communication. No problem. Thanks
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (113542)
• Switzerland
31 Jan 16
May be nothing went wrong, she is now busy with a new life and do not want to remember the past.
2 people like this
• Philippines
31 Jan 16
I guess but she got married and is still married to the father of her daughter.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (113542)
• Switzerland
31 Jan 16
@nottoooldtowrite It is impossible to understand people.
2 people like this
• Philippines
31 Jan 16
@LadyDuck so true.
2 people like this
• Lakewood, Colorado
31 Jan 16
I would not bother with someone who could not have the time for me and reciprocate greetings. Sorry this happened to you. There are always more people to be friends with.
2 people like this
• Philippines
31 Jan 16
Yeah. To think that we have been through a lot.
2 people like this
• Lakewood, Colorado
31 Jan 16
@nottoooldtowrite I know friend..it is sad really.
2 people like this
@SIMPLYD (73970)
• Philippines
2 Feb 16
She's only there when she can benefit from you . She's not a true friend .
2 people like this
• Philippines
2 Feb 16
I don't know anymore. Sigh..
2 people like this
@DianneN (54937)
• United States
1 Feb 16
You sound like you were too good a friend. She doesn't seem worthy of your friendship. Move on.
2 people like this
• Philippines
1 Feb 16
Aww.. thank you. Yes, I no longer want to waste time and energy.
2 people like this
@salonga (27961)
• Philippines
1 Feb 16
She must be very busy with being a mother and wife and she has no more time to communicate with a good friend.
2 people like this
• Philippines
1 Feb 16
Maybe.. but if we both want we can havelunch together since our office is just near each other's.
1 person likes this
• Eugene, Oregon
1 Feb 16
It is hard to understand why these things happen.
2 people like this
• Philippines
1 Feb 16
Disappointing but I cannot do anything about it. I guess people do come and go.
1 person likes this
@softbabe44 (5963)
• Vancouver, Washington
31 Jan 16
A true friend that thought the world of your friendship would work just as hard as you did to meet up sounds like the other had better things to do or an excuse.
2 people like this
• Philippines
31 Jan 16
Or just did not want to make an effort.
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (21036)
• United States
31 Jan 16
It is always sad for a friendship to end. Maybe it can be mended.
2 people like this
• Philippines
31 Jan 16
Maybe but I will be keeping still. Will not do anything about it just yet.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 16
Sometimes life just takes us in different directions. It's hard to be the one who always has to make the first call but it depends on if you want to keep this person in your life. If not, then let the friendship die
2 people like this
• Philippines
31 Jan 16
Yes, I am fed-up. So I will let it be just that.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (13599)
• Toccoa, Georgia
3 Feb 16
I am sorry. I have had friends like that, where I was always the one to call or send cards. I got to the point of just ending it and I didn't hear from them again.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (13599)
• Toccoa, Georgia
3 Feb 16
@nottoooldtowrite It is sad. One of those I lost touch with was one I had known since first grade. It ended 7 years ago.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Feb 16
@LeaPea2417 wow that's really sad...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Feb 16
@LeaPea2417 that is really sad considering that you have been friends since childhood.
1 person likes this
@Auntylou (4410)
• Oxford, England
4 Feb 16
Sounds as if your friend is about to lose a good friend. Sad, but you have tried
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Feb 16
True and it is so hard to keep a one-way friendship.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Feb 16
My mom had a friend like that, despite of her goodwill she was always this bitter and have said a lot of bad things about her. finally, last year she decided to end the friendship by deleting her in facebook. You should do the same, better have friends who are with you from good times and bad times. Envy destroys everything, and my mom proved that you can have more than one friends and some will turn to comfort you. she made a big mistake envying you. It's best to focus on your career instead @nottoooldtowrite because her priorities are different now too.
• Philippines
7 Feb 16
I really do not know the reason why we stopped communicating. I am just fedup.