Time For A Bite To Eat

@WorDazza (15833)
Manchester, England
February 11, 2016 5:26am CST
(WARNING: Geeky Science Gag Alert!!!) It is with great sadness I bring you the news that the worlds' fastest fast food restaurant has been forced to close down. Tachyon Bell opened, only last year, with the promise to serve the fastest food anywhere in the world. In fact owner Kelvin Reduction promised it would be so fast that the food would arrive before it was ordered. When asked if the demise of his venture was due to not being able to meet this seemingly impossible aim, Mr. Reduction said "No, nothing of the sort. We were comfortably meeting our service time targets. Unfortunately, in keeping with the restaurant theme, the customers were leaving before they paid".
52 people like this
43 responses
Arthur Chappell
@arthurchappell (45002)
• Preston, England
11 Feb 16
not sure if this is quirky humour or quark-y humour - brilliant
9 people like this
WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
11 Feb 16
Oh well done sir!
7 people like this
Elizabeth
@Poppylicious (11133)
•
11 Feb 16
It took me ages to realise this was a jokey post! *sigh*
8 people like this
WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
11 Feb 16
@Poppylicious @Marty1 So which part of WARNING: Geeky Science Gag Alert did you have difficulty comprehending??? You try to make it easy for people!! Sheesh!!!!
6 people like this
Gudheart
@gudheart (12659)
•
11 Feb 16
Looks like I fell for it too LOOL
4 people like this
WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
11 Feb 16
@Marty1 Glad to have relieved your stress headaches. My bill is in the post
3 people like this
Heather Echola
@GardenGerty (157596)
• United States
11 Feb 16
And when they delivered they used a DeLorean.
7 people like this
WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
11 Feb 16
Oh nice one!! I'm annoyed I didn't think of that myself!!
4 people like this
Michelle Ayers
@deafdiva (242)
• United States
11 Feb 16
@MALUSE oh she's referring to the movie Back to the Future! A DeLorean was used as a time machine to go back in time and to the future!
3 people like this
M.-L.
@MALUSE (69413)
• Germany
11 Feb 16
@WorDazza I don't get that. I know that jokes should never be explained. But as a foreigner I have mitigating circumstances.
6 people like this
Jabo
@jaboUK (64361)
• United Kingdom
11 Feb 16
Good to see you back to your best again!
7 people like this
vanny
@vandana7 (98853)
• India
11 Feb 16
@WorDazza ..conceit!!!
3 people like this
Jabo
@jaboUK (64361)
• United Kingdom
11 Feb 16
5 people like this
WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
11 Feb 16
My best? What? That little gag! You're too kind Nah! Fake humility doesn't work! I know, it's pretty funny isn't it? Even if I do say so myself!!!
7 people like this
Gudheart
@gudheart (12659)
•
11 Feb 16
Not heard of it so I am guessing it never made it to the UK. As long as McDonalds and KFC does not close down I am happy lol
6 people like this
vanny
@vandana7 (98853)
• India
11 Feb 16
@ElizabethWallace ..I thought so...
2 people like this
WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
11 Feb 16
Never made it anywhere!!!!
5 people like this
ElizabethWallace
@ElizabethWallace (12074)
• United States
11 Feb 16
@WorDazza Was he kidding too?
4 people like this
ElizabethWallace
@ElizabethWallace (12074)
• United States
11 Feb 16
This is great. I wonder how may people will get it?
5 people like this
WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
12 Feb 16
@ElizabethWallace I've been there. But if something tickles you then it tickles you. There's nowt you can do about it. Except laugh!!!
2 people like this
WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
11 Feb 16
Enough to make it worthwhile. Science humour is always a bit of a risk!!
3 people like this
ElizabethWallace
@ElizabethWallace (12074)
• United States
12 Feb 16
@WorDazza I remember once being in a huge hall with thousands of people. The speaker was hysterically funny. I laughed so hard my sides hurt and their were tears in my eyes. Then I noticed very few people were laughing at all. Fascinating.
2 people like this
TheRealDawn
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
12 Feb 16
Were they also eating the food before it was cooked?
3 people like this
TheRealDawn
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
12 Feb 16
@WorDazza So sorry. Mustn't be silly.
3 people like this
vanny
@vandana7 (98853)
• India
12 Feb 16
I am curious too..lol
2 people like this
WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
12 Feb 16
Don't be silly. That would contravene Health and Safety Regulations
2 people like this
vanny
@vandana7 (98853)
• India
11 Feb 16
How sad...did he borrow heavily from bank? With economy as bad as it is...poor thing...
4 people like this
WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
11 Feb 16
It was worse than you might think. He paid his loans back before he'd borrowed the money!!!
3 people like this
Peter B. Giblett
@pgiblett (6524)
• Canada
11 Feb 16
Ha! My type of joint, free food and all I want as long as I can walk out the door. Something for @vandana7 and @DaddyEvil to see they are a couple of free fools who would like free food?
4 people like this
Peter B. Giblett
@pgiblett (6524)
• Canada
11 Feb 16
@WorDazza I was only taking advantage of their policy of leaving before they paid, by the same logic the food is ready as I arrive.
4 people like this
WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
11 Feb 16
I suppose there's nothing stopping you walking out of the door of any restaurant without paying. Just don't get caught!
4 people like this
WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
11 Feb 16
@pgiblett Indeed it is (errr.. was!). I'm just wondering if the staff clocked off before they arrived for their shift!!!
4 people like this
Wendy789
@Drosophila (16573)
• Ireland
11 Feb 16
Lol.. yes the warning label is needed :p
3 people like this
Wendy789
@Drosophila (16573)
• Ireland
11 Feb 16
@WorDazza yas.. not every is as dry as you're :D
2 people like this
WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
11 Feb 16
The warning was a last second addition as some people have taken my posts seriously in the past. Judging by some of these comments I think I need to maybe announce it on the BBC World Service in future!!!
3 people like this
WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
11 Feb 16
@Drosophila How did you know about the vasectomy?????
2 people like this
Catherine
@bluesa (15023)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
11 Feb 16
Hahaha! @WorDazza , sometimes laughter says it all! Thanks for a good chuckle!
5 people like this
WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
11 Feb 16
You're more than welcome. Glad it tickled you!!
5 people like this
fishtiger58
@fishtiger58 (29823)
• Momence, Illinois
11 Feb 16
Hahaha excellent.
5 people like this
WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
11 Feb 16
Thank you!! At this point I'm just glad you realised it was a joke!!!
3 people like this
fishtiger58
@fishtiger58 (29823)
• Momence, Illinois
11 Feb 16
@WorDazza I did.
4 people like this
DJ
@Daljinder (23233)
• Bangalore, India
11 Feb 16
Food would arrive before it was ordered?? *extremely puzzled* Was he imitating being OMNISCIENT?? I guess its in the trend....lol!! No wonder customers imitated RUNAWAY... lol *shakes my head* Nicely done..... by the way
4 people like this
DE
@DaddyEvil (137142)
• United States
12 Feb 16
@Daljinder I can't believe you are picking on @WorDazza ! His joke was funny! But your return sally was almost as funny, too, so that makes me wonder..... Did he finish laughing before you ask your joke?
2 people like this
WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
11 Feb 16
Don't blame the customers for joining in with the theme of the restaurant!!
3 people like this
DJ
@Daljinder (23233)
• Bangalore, India
11 Feb 16
@WorDazza Can I blame the conspirator behind it??
4 people like this
G
@nottoooldtowrite (2715)
• Philippines
11 Feb 16
Lol this is so funny.
4 people like this
WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
11 Feb 16
Glad you liked it. It's always a bit hit and miss when I try a science gag!!
4 people like this
DW Davis
@DWDavis (25812)
• Pikeville, North Carolina
12 Feb 16
I realized as soon as I saw Tachyon Bell that something was warped about this post.
3 people like this
DW Davis
@DWDavis (25812)
• Pikeville, North Carolina
12 Feb 16
@WorDazza Kelvin is absolutely going to have to rethink his business model. There's no energy left in the current one.
1 person likes this
WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
12 Feb 16
That would probably be space-time!!!
1 person likes this
Morgan
@OneOfMany (12150)
• United States
11 Feb 16
Bad customers.
3 people like this
vanny
@vandana7 (98853)
• India
11 Feb 16
They were slow in eating...so management had to usher them out for vacating the space for the next customer...sad...if only they could eat faster..
3 people like this
Morgan
@OneOfMany (12150)
• United States
11 Feb 16
@WorDazza Fast customers got away with fast meals and spent their money on other things because of free meals. Now they are left to fast with no food!
3 people like this
WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
11 Feb 16
Oh I don't know. You can't blame them for joining in with the theme!!
3 people like this
pgn
@pgntwo (22408)
• Derry, Northern Ireland
11 Feb 16
Antithesis to The Restaurant at the End of the Universe. Very entertaining.
3 people like this
pgn
@pgntwo (22408)
• Derry, Northern Ireland
12 Feb 16
@WorDazza That would be at the very other end of time, and is called The Big Bang Burger Bar, in the same volume in the Trilogy in 5 parts...
2 people like this
WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
12 Feb 16
More like the restaurant before the start of the universe!
2 people like this
Fleur
@Fleura (29130)
• United Kingdom
11 Feb 16
OK I confess I had to look up a tachyon.
3 people like this
Fleur
@Fleura (29130)
• United Kingdom
11 Feb 16
@WorDazza Someone wrote a post the other day asking what we had learned on myLot. Well there you go - particle physics.
2 people like this
WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
11 Feb 16
@Fleura And not to take me seriously!!!
1 person likes this
WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
11 Feb 16
Well there you go! You had fun AND you learnt something too!!!
3 people like this
Morley Hunt
@Morleyhunt (21736)
• Canada
11 Feb 16
I wonder how many people missed the gag alert.
3 people like this
vanny
@vandana7 (98853)
• India
11 Feb 16
I did...the first time...but then when I came across Tachyon...I decided ...to go in reverse gear..
2 people like this
WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
11 Feb 16
Judging by the comments, quite a few!!!
3 people like this
DJ
@Daljinder (23233)
• Bangalore, India
11 Feb 16
@vandana7 lol Tachyon alerted me too..... Taco bell I have heard.... but this was new....
1 person likes this
mumbi kariuki
@biikiki (197)
• Nyeri, Kenya
11 Feb 16
What does he mean the customers were leaving before paying I thought in fast food joints you pay before you eat while making the order.
3 people like this
WorDazza
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
11 Feb 16
Not in this restaurant. It even closed down before it opened!!
3 people like this
mumbi kariuki
@biikiki (197)
• Nyeri, Kenya
11 Feb 16
@WorDazza. Well to bad it sounds like it could have been something
3 people like this
DJ
@Daljinder (23233)
• Bangalore, India
11 Feb 16
2 people like this