Friend in partner !!
By Shayani Saha
@Shayani (250)
Pune, India
February 18, 2016 8:12am CST
I know all will agree with me on this topic that we all seek a close / true friend in our partners. I have seen many relationship ended only because the couple were not comfortable sharing their personal space and life with each other. When we enter in a relationship , we try to set certain rules and also follow norms others follow or have seen people follow. But I truly feel that until and unless you are comfortable sharing and opening up with your partner just like a cool friend , you cannot make your relationship sustain for long. You might face difficulty in admitting things and even confronting issues with him/her.
I want to know what all of you feel about it, and how you people treat your partner. I believe many of you are sustaining long term relationship , so kindly share with me.
12 people like this
16 responses
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
19 Feb 16
Yes, what you have stated is correct. In a relationship mutual trust and sharing is very important. If both the partners do not trust each other or open up with each other, then bonding does not get stronger, as it should have been. However, it takes years together for reaching a level of understanding.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
19 Feb 16
@Shayani Welcome to mylot.
Thanks for agreeing with me
. Trust builds up gradually and if any untoward incident happens in between the time, when you are developing trust, all efforts go in vain.
It is nice to hear that you wish to treat your partner as your best friend, however, you are not sure about his attitude.
You see it requires two hands to clap and one sided efforts cannot bring the desired results. Efforts from both the sides are needed to be made (degree could vary).
Thanks for agreeing with me. Trust builds up gradually and if any untoward incident happens in between the time, when you are developing trust, all efforts go in vain.
It is nice to hear that you wish to treat your partner as your best friend, however, you are not sure about his attitude.
You see it requires two hands to clap and one sided efforts cannot bring the desired results. Efforts from both the sides are needed to be made (degree could vary).@Shayani (250)
• Pune, India
19 Feb 16
I know, I completely agree with you. It takes years to built any trusted and strong relationship and also to maintain mutual trust... I have my partner, and I treat him like a friend, but i want to make him my best of friend, not sure whether it will ever happen or not.
1 person likes this
@Bhaskarjhborah (735)
• India
19 Feb 16
I am not married ... but I am finding a partner in my friend. To whom my love is one sided till now... you can wish for me so thay I will get her...
1 person likes this
@Bhaskarjhborah (735)
• India
19 Feb 16
@Shayani I thought many times about telling her about my feeling, but I fear about losing her. She is serious type of girl and a teacher as a profession.
1 person likes this
@Shayani (250)
• Pune, India
19 Feb 16
@Bhaskarjhborah well i must say you are a lucky guy. I feel that even though you are not telling her straight forward , at- least you can start giving her hints of your love and feelings and also make her think on this. If you get positive responses from her end, it will be much easier to propose her after that. Good luck and stay blessed !!
1 person likes this
@Harita91 (22)
• New Delhi, India
24 Feb 16
I treat my current partner as my best friend to the extent I sometimes forget he is my boyfriend haha and he has to playfully remind me. We tell each other everything there is to be told fears dreams hopes down to insignificant details of the day. I hope to marry him some day and I wish the relationship to blossom to an even deeper friendship than as of now. Cheers!
1 person likes this
@Shayani (250)
• Pune, India
24 Feb 16
best wishes for your future, and may you both share this kind of love and compassion with each other for the rest of your life.
This kind of relationship do have a strong understanding and bond between the two partners since they know each other and give equal respect to each other's priorities in life.
@rajendraingale (289)
• Estado De Mexico, Mexico
18 Feb 16
Hello Shyani,
How are you ? I Hope you are fine. Glad to see someone from Pune. I´m from pune.
Interesting topic I must say.
I agree mostly with your perception on Relationships. It´s very much important for a couple to be friends and not just friends but best friends because that´s the only way when you can be comfortable and understand each other without any hesitation. As you know that arrange marriages are still happening in India and I respect that, but in a way it affects the relationship when a couple doesn´t know anything about each other and the life starts with compromise and sacrifice.
In any relationship, Personal space is needed , but that personal space shoudn´t become a space where the other person starts doubting and becomes skeptical for everysmall thing the other person does.
1 person likes this
@GreatMartin (23675)
• Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
19 Feb 16
"I know all will agree with me on this topic that we all seek a close / true friend in our partners." You are starting on a wrong premise because not ALL want what you want. To start with I do not want a partner--I made that decision 35 years ago and have never regretted it. I won't go into ALL the reasons why but I just want you to know taht no one can speak for all--you can only speak for yourself.
reasons why but I just want you to know taht no one can speak for all--you can only speak for yourself.1 person likes this
@whiteream (8567)
• United States
18 Feb 16
been with my husband for 20+. He is my best friend. It is so true you need to know and be firends with your partner
1 person likes this
@shubhu3 (36464)
• New Delhi, India
19 Feb 16
I'm single but I feel we should be friends first to an extent that we becomes bestest buddies and then we should enter into a relationship because unless you know a person in and out and unless you are comfortable with that one totally(like you had said) then only we should trust the person for life.
1 person likes this
@Shayani (250)
• Pune, India
18 Feb 16
hi Anne, you were lucky to have him as your best friend. We actually feel like incomplete when we do not have the same person with us. I can feel how you must be feeling....!!!
@danicapaige (30)
• Bloomington, Illinois
19 Feb 16
There are always going to be things that may annoy you slightly about your partner. Good communication is always the key. If someone doesnt speak what is on their heart, the other is not going to know how to make it better. My husband and i use phrases like "when you say this i feel..."or "when you do this it makes me..." some things we agree to disagree and others we agree on. but we never choose to give up or stop loving each other
1 person likes this
@Shiva49 (26224)
• Singapore
19 Feb 16
Give and take is at the core - of course, not one giving and the other taking like sometimes happen!
I married nearly forty years ago and there was no question of going back at all. The families met and we met alone and decided that we will be couple for life. We highlight the common bond than some discordant notes that happen.in any relationship.
Be open and overlook small issues - never hold a grudge. Children are a blessing and shower them with love and then the bonding within family is enhanced - siva
