Late for work???
November 24, 2006 1:47pm CST
Late for Work Late for work already, I was annoyed to find a strange car in my reserved parking space again. After locating a spot far away, I stormed into my office determined, to have the car towed. As the morning wore on, however, my anger cooled, and I decided to give the driver another chance. During lunchtime, I went outside and left this note on the driver's windshield: "Please don't take my parking space. If you do, and your car disappears, don't say I never towed you!" Perspective An English professor wrote the words, "A woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing." Wedding Dress Blues When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my mother's wedding dress. The day she tried it on for the first time I was sitting with Mother in the living room as Andrea descended the stairs. The gown was a perfect fit on her petite frame. Mother's eyes welled with tears. I put my arm around her. "You're not losing a daughter," I reminded her in time-honored fashion. "You're gaining a son." "Oh, forget about that!" she said with a sob. "I used to fit into that dress!" For The Kids... Where do ants go to eat? At a restaurant! What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes? Antteneye! What do you call an and with frogs legs? An antphibian! What kind of ants are very learned? Pedants! What do you call a smart ant? Elegant! What do you call an ant who can't play the piano? Discordant! What kind of ant is good at maths? An accountant! How come if ants are always so busy they always get time to show up at picnics? How many ants are needed to fill an apartment? Ten ants! In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.