Should couples/ boyfriend-girlfriend go Dutch?

@sol_cee (38222)
Philippines
June 5, 2016 9:19pm CST
To end a hectic and stressful week, colleagues and I made a unanimous decision to fill our tummies with sushi, sashimi, rice, rice and more. Food always makes me feel relaxed. It was my first time to go to this traditional style Japanese restaurant where we had to remove our shoes, sit/squat in tatami-covered floors and expose our smelly feet. Despite the discomfort of revealing our weakness, the service was great. So was the food. While everyone was gossiping in Japanese, I gradually zoned out and started to observe my surroundings. I noticed this nicely dressed, looking-so-in loved couple, who stood up hand in hand and headed their way to the cashier. The guy was a perfect gentleman, assisting the lady, whispering something in her ear while she giggled in response. The cashier had to clear his throat twice to get their attention, informing them of their bill. To my surprise, the guy said ‘betsu-betsu’ which in English means ‘separate’. Both of them reached out for their wallets and paid separately. Now I have a question: Should couples/ boyfriend-girlfriend go Dutch?
25 people like this
27 responses
@MGjhaud (23251)
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
i dont mind splitting the bill, i love treating them -- once in a while.
4 people like this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
7 Jun 16
Once in a while won't hurt.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
7 Jun 16
Couples should understand each other in every aspect specially when it comes to their financials . Yes, i believe they can go Dutch when paying what they eat at the restaurant . But not always though . Sometimes the guy should pay alone also , just as the girl should also sometimes .
3 people like this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
7 Jun 16
@sunrisefan i'll drown in oil. lol
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
7 Jun 16
I'd rather not go out if that's the case. #sulking lol
1 person likes this
@sunrisefan (28524)
• Philippines
7 Jun 16
@sol_cee Better enjoy your very fatty "humba" solo at home LOL!
2 people like this
@topffer (42156)
• France
6 Jun 16
A matter of culture I guess. Here couples are most of the time paying separately or each in turn.
3 people like this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
18 Jun 16
Culture difference is a key factor I agree.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
In this practical world of ours nowadays, I think it's a better option. I wouldn't want to depend too much on anybody when paying my bill. But it really depends on the couple.
3 people like this
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
9 Jun 16
@sol_cee yep I've done it....for my handsome clients
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
9 Jun 16
Independent Toni buying a handsome guy a drink. Why not?
@flapiz (22425)
• United Kingdom
6 Jun 16
Well I don't mind going Dutch. I am an independent woman and can afford my meal. It's fair enough, but I do appreciate it when a guy pays for me. Specially if he's working full time as I'm a part timer. But maybe they aren't a couple? Ahahaha.
3 people like this
@flapiz (22425)
• United Kingdom
7 Jun 16
@sol_cee I used to date a Dutch guy and he never let me pay for anything. Although sometimes I offer to buy dessert if he's making dinner.
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
7 Jun 16
@flapiz Used to. What happened after if you don't mind my asking?
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
7 Jun 16
I should have asked them about their status. lol
1 person likes this
@wiLLmaH (8801)
• Singapore, Singapore
13 Jun 16
It depends. We never set a rule but if someone asked the other to dine out, he or she must have the courtesy to pay the bill :)
3 people like this
@wiLLmaH (8801)
• Singapore, Singapore
22 Jun 16
@sol_cee but now we are husband and wife.. He always pay. :) haha!
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
18 Jun 16
I think it is the unwritten rule for dining out - if you invite, you pay.
1 person likes this
• Otis Orchards, Washington
6 Jun 16
Back when I was a young adult it was customary for the man to pay. After all, in most cases, he was the one asking the woman out. Back then it was considered unladylike for the woman to ask the man out. Today everything has changed. Women ask men out. And going Dutch seems to be coming into fashion. I suppose if it is agreed upon before the date that would be okay, but I personally think the man should pay. I'm sure that's a bit old-fashioned but if I went on a date and the woman said we should go Dutch and she basically demands to go Dutch, I would go along with it just to keep from arguing. I would never demand to go Dutch. To me, I feel, by going Dutch, the man is saying, "I don't like (love) you enough to be worth it."
2 people like this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
7 Jun 16
Bless your heart. You're one of the remaining few.
2 people like this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
7 Jun 16
@RichardMeister you are most welcome.
1 person likes this
• Otis Orchards, Washington
7 Jun 16
@sol_cee Thank you.
1 person likes this
@Lucky15 (37346)
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
For me..it depends who invited. Haha
2 people like this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
If it was you?
2 people like this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
@Lucky15 What else was fast? lol
2 people like this
@Lucky15 (37346)
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
@sol_cee i pay..like did it once with my ex. Haha. On a fast food
2 people like this
@ridingbet (66857)
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
it is the common practice now, because both may be earning a living so the lady could share half of the expenses.
2 people like this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
10 Jun 16
@ridingbet I'll be in charge of the tip.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66857)
• Philippines
10 Jun 16
@sol_cee good, but don't fret if the tip is not much; rejoice if it is sky-high.
@ridingbet (66857)
• Philippines
10 Jun 16
@sol_cee women now do pay their share. it is new now. equality reigns!
1 person likes this
@brokenbee (11090)
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
I think yes, they should pay for their own. It's a different story if he's already the husband. My mother always reminds us not to let a guy (courting or not) or anyone pay for our food
2 people like this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
9 Jun 16
@brokenbee but you can kung fu right Queen Bee?
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
9 Jun 16
Your mother must have a wallet full of money.
1 person likes this
@brokenbee (11090)
• Philippines
9 Jun 16
@sol_cee no.. haha she thinks if people will pay for us, they can do whatever they want to do to us, and she doesn't want that to happen.
1 person likes this
@Daljinder (23233)
• Bangalore, India
9 Jun 16
In circle of friends splitting is okay unless there is an invite from one then he/she foots the bill alone. But in romantic setting, it is kind of difficult to answer. Over here generally men insist that they should pay. Some may even feel insulted and hurt if woman offers to pay the bill. Basically, it is mutual understanding of the couple. If they wish to split then fine. if not then fine. Depends on the couple.
2 people like this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
18 Jun 16
@zap_81 I can treat you on your birthday. lol
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
18 Jun 16
@Daljinder Our men have the same thinking I guess.
@zap_81 (1019)
9 Jun 16
I will not get upset if the woman agrees to share the bill. I have had the privilege of her company and vice verca so both are the beneficiaries or the sufferer s as the case may be.
2 people like this
@acelawrites (19273)
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
Maybe an aspect of their culture? For us, it should be the man who should shoulder the bills, or when the woman was the one who invited the man, she should pay it, more so if she has a nice job and the man earns less; or vice versa!
2 people like this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
It's weird for me actually.
2 people like this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
18 Jun 16
@acelawrites kkb sounds so unromantic for me.
@acelawrites (19273)
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
@sol_cee yes, it could be weird because we are not used to such "arrangement;" kanya-kanyang bayad (each pays for his own).
2 people like this
@sunrisefan (28524)
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
They need not go Dutch coz they're not in Netherlands LOL! And good thing you were not required to take off your clothes. That would have been more inconvenient.
2 people like this
@sunrisefan (28524)
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
@sol_cee That could be their culture but with us, it should be the the gentlemen to pick up the tab. Given that, would you like to have a date with me at the market for "humba" and "chicaron"? LOL!
2 people like this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
@sunrisefan or I'd treat you to Japanese cuisine. lol
2 people like this
@sunrisefan (28524)
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
@sol_cee After the "humba" and "chicharon"? The only Japanes food I know and like is the tonkatsu chicken or pork LOL!
1 person likes this
• Tianjin, China
6 Jun 16
In my opinion, we should go Dutch with our boyfried or our gilrfriend when we are in love. After we get married, we could not go Dutch with our husband or wife because we are family and the husband should pay for the meal.In China, the men like to do this.
3 people like this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
18 Jun 16
What if you won't end up together?
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
I think it is not in our culture to go dutch as couples although there are already couples who are going "betsu-betsu" but me and my husband...we never did that from the day we dated till we got married and how much more that we are already husband and wife. I think it all depends on the couples decision and perhaps also depending on their culture.
2 people like this
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
10 Jun 16
@sol_cee Exactly!
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
9 Jun 16
I still love our culture. Women are pampered, loved, fed. lol
1 person likes this
@sunbeams (232)
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
In my opinion and since I believe in fairness, it is okay to sometimes go "Dutch" and pay separate bills.I think it depends on how comfortable you are with each other or if both of you decided on it beforehand. In this modern day age, it doesn't matter who pays, as long as the bill is paid. Haha. Seriously, "Dutch treats" among couples may depend also on the culture, age, financial circumstances, etc. That's my opinion. ^____^
2 people like this
@sunbeams (232)
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
Haha Thanks Sol.
2 people like this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
Sunny ideas from a sunny sunbeam!
2 people like this
• Austin, Texas
6 Jun 16
Go Dutch? Why not?
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64361)
• United Kingdom
6 Jun 16
It entirely depends on the circumstances. They may have an arrangement to do it like that. However on a first date I would expect the man to pick up the bill.
2 people like this
• India
9 Jun 16
@sol_cee Everyone dresses up for a first date...lol Quite another matter if you were upset about something and gave a good dressing down.
2 people like this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
9 Jun 16
True. I dress up on a first date, I deserve free meal! lol
1 person likes this
@antonbunot (11092)
• Calgary, Alberta
7 Jun 16
Depending where you are. I mean here in Canada that is usually what happens to a couple. Pay what you eat, I pay mine. But in the Philippines, men usually shoulder everything including hotel expenses. hehehe
2 people like this
@antonbunot (11092)
• Calgary, Alberta
7 Jun 16
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
7 Jun 16
2 people like this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
6 Jun 16
Haha. seriously? That's odd for a boyfriend/girlfriend thing. Normally guys pays the bill. Or maybe they are not in a relationship.
2 people like this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
Same reaction actually. lol
2 people like this