It's a curious thing....

United States
June 13, 2016 7:02am CST
It's a curious thing you know... This inexplicable sorrow that courses through me at the moment. I've talked about a co-worker who is leaving. His official last day is tonight, but the last time I would see him was last night, or rather at 5 this morning when he left. I shook his hand bid him the best of luck and smiled. Inside though I was a whirlwind of emotions. You see, I have a bit of a problem with anxiety, and I was once diagnosed with an adjustment disorder. I can't say that I truly have such a problem anymore, but from time to time I feel a bit... unsteady to change. I wish this guy the best of luck but I will miss him. Not just as a co-worker but not really as a friend since we weren't friends... I guess you could say it will be different without him... I'm jealous he's leaving in a way, but I am also a bit upset because I know that means more change and I can get through it, and will get through it, but it will be an obstacle for me for sure. I don't think I am pushing / blaming all of this new change on him, as it isn't his fault at all... I guess it's hard to explain, especially to people who've never dealt with an adjustment disorder. When I was a teenager, I was diagnosed with an adjustment disorder. It was hard to explain to my friends that I felt both joyous for their budding romances as well as jealous and lonely because of it.. It distanced us somewhat but we got through it, and as I got older, and had more experiences of my own.. this disorder faded into the deep recesses of existence. It's reared it's ugly head again but I'll be ok... I know now how to get myself through it. Onward and Upward...
6 people like this
7 responses
@marguicha (102062)
• Chile
13 Jun 16
I am so sorry that you have this problem. Although I like your last words. I feel that you will overcome this as you did in the past.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jun 16
We all have our own problems. I count myself lucky that I know and understand this problem here. There are many who can't / don't have the support team to overcome their own problems. Thank You.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (102062)
• Chile
13 Jun 16
@ScribbledAdNauseum I agree with you. Support is very important. I don´t think that I´d be here if I had not had support during my chemotherapy.
@miniam (9233)
• Bern, Switzerland
13 Jun 16
As you say, onward upward.Take a day at a time, dont push things, dont push your self and before you know it, this feelings will come to pass.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jun 16
I understand what you are saying and agree. I don't think it will be so easy though. I will essentially be taking over his position and while it gives me joy it also saddens me because come Wednesday he won't be there anymore...
1 person likes this
@miniam (9233)
• Bern, Switzerland
13 Jun 16
@ScribbledAdNauseum Beleive me, you`ll be fine.Just take it easy knowing no one will come to announce to you that you are fine.I do call it *listening to my body* so listen to your body.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (55053)
• United Kingdom
14 Jun 16
Recognising the problem is half the battle. You'll be able to deal with it because you've been through similar things before.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Jun 16
After I posted this discussion, I received a text from my best friend. I had texted her about how i was feeling and after just a few minutes I felt much better. After a nice long sleep I feel even more refreshed. I know I"ll still get a shock come Wednesday, but the fact that I will be busy will keep me from really thinking of the change.
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (69882)
• Roseburg, Oregon
13 Jun 16
Believe in yourself and have positive thoughts that will help you to, You sound really positive.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jun 16
Yes I am positive.. just a bit drained and shook up really.
• Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic
13 Jun 16
Just stay positive and pick and choose your battles!
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jun 16
Very Good Advice. I know that will come in handy in the coming weeks as it will become more stressful. While we may have lost one person, we aren't sure when and if we will gain another so soon.
@Marcyaz (35606)
• United States
13 Jun 16
You can get through this as you have in the past. Sorry you have to go through something like this when someone leaves the firm.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jun 16
It's odd but others have left and I've not felt as strongly as I do now. Some came and went so quickly that I didn't really experience any kind of respect for them.. Not that I didn't respect them, but I hope you understand what I mean.
1 person likes this
@PatZAnthony (13001)
• Charlotte, North Carolina
14 Jun 16
Onward and Upward- Good words that fit many situations like this and similar ones.