Lies, Lies and More Lies

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In addition to my retirement blog, which I have mentioned here a few times, I also write a blog called Lies-and-liars.blogspot . com. I have learned a great deal from the experience of writing this blog. Here are some of the high points of what I have learned while doing the research I have done on lying: Virtually everyone lies (perhaps not the Pope, but I'm not sure.) Most people lie several times a day ... although they may not think of what they are saying as lies. People lie to protect themselves from criticism, they lie to protect other people, to make themselves to look better, to cover up a mistake they have made, to keep a secret they promised to protect, in order to avoid hurting the feelings of another person, to avoid answering questions that make them uncomfortable, to avoid doing things, and, of course, for criminal reasons. Smart people lie about the same frequency as less intelligent people. Creative people lie MORE than other people. They have more of a tendency to "reframe" things. People who are encouraged to be creative, by telling them they should "think outside the box," be more flexible, or use their imaginations are also more likely to lie or cheat on a game. So what have I learned from writing this blog? I have learned to be more skeptical about everything I am told. It doesn't matter whether I am listening to a politician, a friend telling me a story, or a newscaster, I assume that whatever they are saying has been re-framed or altered in some way to make their point. I have learned that most lies are just not that important. If someone changes the names of their family members when writing online, for example, that is a lie, but not really important. If someone uses a pen name to disguise their identity, that is not usually important either. If a family member tells me an outfit I am wearing makes me look skinny, I LOVE that lie! I have learned that everyone has an agenda. It can be subtle and hard to define, but they all have a point-of-view they are trying to present. There are many ways to lie. A lie can simply mean that someone is only using actual statistics that support their cause and leaving out the statistics that they disagree with. It could mean that the statistics are distorted by the choice of dates or data that they include. I've also learned that when one politician says another one is lying ... that information is almost irrelevant, since they are all lying, and their supporters are, too, because they will sometimes say almost anything in order to get their favorite candidate elected. (This applies to local elections as well as national ones.) What can we do with the knowledge that everyone lies? Instead of worrying about the lies, I focus on what people actually are trying to do. Do I agree with what they are trying to achieve, or not? Do I agree with their tactics, or not? Do I think their goals are realistic and achievable? Do I think they will actually try to accomplish them? Do I believe they will, in general, stick with their agenda in the future, or not? These questions apply to co-workers, employees, and officers in a club, as well as politicians. Do I lie? Of course! I may lie by omitting a fact I know but prefer to ignore; I could lie by refusing to answer a question that makes me uncomfortable; I sometimes lie when I say I cannot attend an event when I really just want to stay home and veg. Like most people, I even lie to myself, sometimes. I know you lie, too ... so go ahead and confess!