Do you stay away from people with depression?
By M
@Kinnian03 (192)
June 28, 2016 3:59am CST
This has been bugging me for the longest time... i had friends most of them are too pretty to be depressed some of them are too rich to be depressed, i tried helping like literally going all out of my way and getting hurt in the process kind of help but NOTHING!! Simply nothing gets through!!!
My sister was all doom and gloom and i practically toughen her up apparently the only way i know how to fight depression is too fight it literally made my sister go with me to spar.. boxing has been my #1 go to when im pissed or sad about something i cant control.
But i keep meeting people who are always... sad. Just everyyytime... like they dont have anything to live for.. theyre probably going through something very hard.. which is why i try to listen and help them out.. cheer them up... but its like they refuse to be happy!!!
How do you help someone who doesnt listen? How do you help someone who doesnt even wanna try cause they think theyll just fail? Do you just completely avoid this people? If not how do you get through to them? Is there a proven way that works everytime??
12 people like this
18 responses
@Bluedoll (16774)
• Canada
28 Jun 16
Answering the questions as best as I can. You help someone regardless of what is good or bad about them by being a friend. If only in conversation most people need positive communication. We can't make another person happy we can only share our happiness. But sometime we ourselves feel like it is all give and we all have our limits as to what and who we can accept into our life. What do you think about these or is it not that simply or I'm I missing something?
4 people like this
@Bluedoll (16774)
• Canada
28 Jun 16
@Kinnian03 I volunteered at a center for people with mental challenges and understand what you mean. There were success stories and sad ones. It was like rolling dice.
@Kinnian03 (192)
•
28 Jun 16
Thank you.. and thats true... i wanna share my happiness thats all i ever wanna do! Lol i make food and cookies for them i even take them out for some fresh air.. or hang out with them.. play games..sometimes it just feels like its not enough. But sometimes i can tell i help just being around them... which is the best thing i could do for now i guess. I just wanna rid this world of depressed people 1 person at a time lol
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
28 Jun 16
I try having a happy face and tell them , i too have serious problem yet because i believe that our God will help us if only we pray for it , i fight myself from being sad .
I might ask them to join prayer meetings , because it was what lifted me out from a very depressing situation before .
And when all else fails , i will just pray for them.
3 people like this
@Kinnian03 (192)
•
28 Jun 16
Hmmm weeeell i do admit.. thats one thing i havent tried... im not really big on prayers.. or preaching about god.. or going to prayer meetings. I have a very different opinion about religion... but... i guess when all else fails... theres only god who i could run too.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Jun 16
People with depression cannot control how their feeling-they are not trying to be depressed. Some people truly need medication to help with how they feel. There is no cure for it.
The only thing we can do is be there for them and try to be as helpful as possible-also keep them in your prayers.
3 people like this
@Shavkat (137238)
• Philippines
30 Jun 16
@LovingMyBabies I agree. We don't need to be an additional burden to their lives. They came to us to support them.
@Kinnian03 (192)
•
29 Jun 16
Thank you.. the more i look into it the more i feel helpless... but i guess its one of those things we have no control over about.. and that it should be them who has to find a way out.
@akalinus (40640)
• United States
28 Jun 16
You can't talk people out of depression. People don't get up one morning and decide that today they will be depressed. I think the best thing is to be there for them. A smile, a laugh, a gentle touch show you care and they all make people feel better. You can pray for them, encourage them to get help, but you can't tell them to snap out of it and be happy. It will not work.
3 people like this
@akalinus (40640)
• United States
29 Jun 16
@Kinnian03 Yes, I understand that. Same problem with a friend of one of my kids. I feel helpless, too.
@Kinnian03 (192)
•
29 Jun 16
Yes so far that has been the case.. just feel kind of helpless specially when im there with them you know. Its just hard to watch sometimes.
1 person likes this
@The_Bong_Woman (851)
•
28 Jun 16
While I was going through your post I could not help but think of my bestie. You sound completely like her! The other day she was telling me about her college friend circle and that for some completely weird reason everybody seemed to be having break-ups and that there's a perennial ambience of gloom in the college. My best friend tried helping her friends but to no avail.
I too want to help such people but when they simply refuse to take help or say outright reject my advices I become clueless as to what to do.
1 person likes this
@The_Bong_Woman (851)
•
29 Jun 16
@Kinnian03 I agree with you. Leaving the loners is not going to help them in any way. There is no definite way to approach depressed people but you are right we should keep trying our best to help them.
@Kinnian03 (192)
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29 Jun 16
It really makes you think... you start to wonder what youre doing wrong specially when you do really wanna make a change.. or atleast help them out show them that a little change of perpective can help them out. Im so grateful that alot of people here have given me advice on how to deal with people with depression... but i still get mixed answers... but mostly is that to leave them alone give them some space. I thought thats the last thing you wanna do for someone who feels like he or she is all alone... so i guess this whole thing is still a mystery to me.. i still dont have a full proof plan to be effective around people with depression.. but i do understand.. that all i can do is try.
@Kinnian03 (192)
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28 Jun 16
I think its more frustrating than irritating.. i honestly dont mind sticking around till they feel better.. but i tried that and one guy latched on to me and he made me hes crutch which is definitely not a good thing too cause he coudnt function without me... i just cant stand seeing people who feels like they have nothing to live for.
@Kinnian03 (192)
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29 Jun 16
Thats a scary thought... i cant imagine how hard it must be... just makes me want to try more but i have absolutely no idea if im doing them any good or im just making it worst.. and its bad too cause i cant just sit and watch them go through it lol uuurrgg its complicated
@Shavkat (137238)
• Philippines
30 Jun 16
@Kinnian03 Okay. You can just ask an assistance from a specialist.
@cherigucchi (14879)
• Philippines
28 Jun 16
I just let them be. If I know that I did my best in helping them, its time to give this kind of person a space.
1 person likes this
@Kinnian03 (192)
•
28 Jun 16
Im my experience i meet this people through a friend of a friend who wants to help.. and i get sucked into it cause i cant stand seeing people being down specially when im there and can do something about it... i mean... i know this is bot the case and its awfully rude but isnt being sad a choice? Specially if you choose to be sad ALL THE TIME... do they choose to be sad than find another alternative? Specially when you have people who wants to help you.. i would like to think that you only really need that 1 person to believe in you.. listen to you.. see you for who you are abd who you could potentially be and support you to break free.. im starting to think im wrong.
@skysnap (20154)
•
28 Jun 16
@Kinnian03 depression has triggers for example people who are depressed with money, have materialistic trigger. those with love depression have other triggers. so it's not choice one makes for depression, it gets triggered in brain. and the thing is that there are very few people in society who feel like helping. trust me been through this and recovered only because I found that selfishness in society tells you why one should not be depressed.
@Kinnian03 (192)
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28 Jun 16
@skysnap this is true... it is hard to find people who would genuiely care about how you feel or help you for that matter... but how do you help them?! Hoooow?! Lol how did you get through it? Did you just decide one day to pick yoirself up? Or did you have help?
@Tierkreisze (1609)
• Philippines
28 Jun 16
Here's one thing: show them how you feel about them. Show them that you accept them for who they are and that you love them no matter what. You can try reasoning with them, but I don't think anything would ever go to their minds. Depressed people are irrational. They don't listen because they can't. What they feel is just too painful and pain keeps people from doing thinking at all.
Oh, and don't forget to give them space. Let the person go to you when they feel like their world is crumbling but make sure to give the person some time to think and settle what they feel.
Personally, I'd help if the person is either a friend or a family member. I don't care for everyone else so I have no love to give them. I do give out advice, though. Wait till I graduate and I'll help some depressed people in the clinic. 
1 person likes this
@Kinnian03 (192)
•
29 Jun 16
Yes i agree i dont have depression but i assume that the feeling of loneliness theyre experiencing is an intense amount of sadness.. i was just saying that if you feel this way you should have atleast an outlet so you dont get sucked into it. Im sure theyve tried that tho and probably it still didnt work thats why they end up having depression... it just puzzles me thats all.. and i just wanna know if theres anything i could do to help.
@Colleen46 (106)
•
28 Jun 16
This is such a difficult situation to try and help some people. Last year my dad was diagnosed with depression and I was so shocked when my mum told me as he was the last person I ever thought would be depressed. I just act normal around him and if he looks like he is feeling down then I just leave him be for a while.
@Colleen46 (106)
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29 Jun 16
@Kinnian03 No I never have but its clear what is causing it. The usual most people stress about. Money, Bills and all the rest.
@Kinnian03 (192)
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29 Jun 16
Sometimes it hits people the least we expect.. did your dad ever confined whats bothering him?
1 person likes this
@Shreyashi (171)
•
28 Jun 16
As you wrote about depression- I would like to day that it is a disease and people who are under this should get psychiatric treatment ASAP.
See, one who does not wants to listen cannot be bound to listen because all we want is a reply. If the person do not respond, do you think it worth talking .
@Kinnian03 (192)
•
28 Jun 16
See thats the thing.. some cant afford treatment and even if they could they refuse to get help. I was just wondering.. if theres anything i could do to get through them.. make them see how switching your perspective will change everything.
@everwonderwhy (6697)
•
28 Jun 16
With family members who might be experiencing down-moments, no, I don't. I try to cook nutritious home-cooked meals to help boost up their serotonin levels to combat depressed feelings. With a friend of several children, she feels low some of the times. What I do is, I go to her house and do some cleaning and helping with her kids.
I feel these down moments. But I am better when I'm left alone and do my writing.
1 person likes this
@Kinnian03 (192)
•
28 Jun 16
I think good home cooked meals will work on everything except for people who are constantly depressed.. ive tried believe me lol but i totally understand... besides taking care of this person to the best effort you can.. you cant really do anything else.
@sunilparthan (6283)
• India
28 Jun 16
i just always want to be happy. and if i feel someone is unhappy i will try to make them laugh.
@flapiz (22422)
• United Kingdom
30 Jun 16
Well sometimes the only thing we can really do is just listen.
@crazyhorseladycx (39515)
• United States
28 Jun 16
some folks jest wish to've others surround 'em that feed off their misery - which's usually self-inflicted. 'tis called "co-dependency". fer others, could be hormonal imbalance 'r some other underlyin' medical condition that causes 'em to not see how great they're lives really're. i don't believe someone's looks'r wealth makes any diff'rence.
@JohnRoberts (109857)
• Los Angeles, California
28 Jun 16
I have no choice as I have to live with myself. Not meant in humor.
