Only the little brother is not afraid of mama
August 18, 2016 6:23pm CST
My little girl said that. Isn't it sad to hear our children are afraid of us? It seems like I am too fierce when I am angry, and everyone is afraid of me except my little baby. I have always been learning to be gentler and calmer, but when I am triggered by something, I just get angry and scold them. I am learning to at least hold my tongue when I am angry, but sometimes I guess I still look scary even when I do not scold, because I am too fierce. My eldest son said, he is only afraid of me when I am angry. Well, I do not want them to be afraid, I want them to learn actually. I know I have been using the incorrect way to guide them, I must first learn before I can guide them. Are you too fierce when you are angry?
9 people like this
19 Aug 16
That's good! Yes, I have always been learning to be gentler, though I know I have improved a bit, I am still not where I want to be. Actually I do not want my children to be afraid of me and I do not want to be fierce too, as I don't think this is the way to guide the children. It's just that after telling them several times softly, but they still do something not so appropriate, that's where I get triggered. It's good to hear that you are a gentle mom and your kids are responsible grown ups now. I will keep learning and growing to be a better mom.
• Guangzhou, China
19 Aug 16
I think when we are angry, we will look like horrible. And it is common that our children will be afraid of it when we are angry. Sometimes it is just too hard to control our temper when we are really mad. This is OK. Here usually one parent will be strict and the other will be gentle Although I have a good relationship with my child, but he will behave better if I am angry. As I don't often lose temper to him, so he will learn that I really mean it if I am angry.
19 Aug 16
Yes, I always think I am like an evil when I am angry. This is really not what I want - the kids behave better only if I am angry. But, I always start with telling them nicely and softly for several times, but they still ignore me, until I get angry. I always try to keep calm, but after several times, I just get mad. Sometimes, I am not actually mad, but "pretend to be", just to get them to do what I want, though I really don't like it.