Bush Poetry - Of Corset's Funny!

@JudyEv (97033)
Bunbury, Australia
September 6, 2016 11:23pm CST
Our poor member @moffittjc had a slight accident the other day and is now nursing broken ribs. The ribs have been strapped and he says it looks a bit like a girdle which is the perfect excuse for me to post my second bush poem. I've only ever written three and I can't find the third so I won't be swamping you with my doggerel. I hope you enjoy it. Sorry it's so long but them's the breaks. Sticky Wicket Way back in the 60s, young Andrew started school He wasn't much of a scholar and mostly played the fool. He'd squirm and wriggle and talk and giggle until in great despair The teacher would let go with the chalk and try to part his hair. As the years went by he grew tall and strong, he excelled at any sport But he loved his footie, he was fleet of foot, his games were always hard fought. But the years caught up and the beers caught up and his speed it fell away When his hamstring went for the third or fourth time he decided to call it a day And he tried the bowls but that was too slow and he didn't care for cricket But then one day he found himself on a very sticky wicket. He'd always had an eye for the girls and they thought he was alright With his fine physique and tight blond curls and his footie shorts oh so tight He’d ply them all with beer and wine, either white, rose or red And oftentimes, when he woke up, it was someone else's bed. But, as I said he gave footie away and golf became his game It wasn't long and his skills improved and with it all his fame Though settled and wed he still played around though his conquests were much older He got away with it time after time and so became even bolder. Then came the day a team was needed to play in the city of Perth He put forward his name. Here was a chance to really prove his worth. Now at this very swanky club, when they'd finished their round They weren't allowed in the clubroom till they'd showered and towelled down. Four of them had gone that day; they're all in the dressing room And they can't help staring at Andrew who was nearly in the nude. 'How long you been wearing that corset', asked Jack. 'I've never seen that before I didn't know you had a bad back. It hasn't affected your score.' 'I don't have a crook back', said Andrew, and sighed. 'It'd really rot your socks. I've worn it since the missus found it, stuffed in the Ford's glove box'.
26 people like this
23 responses
@jaboUK (50125)
• United Kingdom
7 Sep 16
Lol - LOVE the punch line! Very entertaining, thank you Judy.
3 people like this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
7 Sep 16
You're welcome. Glad you enjoyed it.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (50125)
• United Kingdom
7 Sep 16
@JudyEv I forgot to say that I loved the title too - very clever.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
7 Sep 16
@jaboUK I was hoping it might attract readers!
1 person likes this
@epiffanie (8342)
• Australia
7 Sep 16
I enjoyed reading that .. I remember listening to bush poetry on the radio some years ago .. Very unique to Australia ..
3 people like this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
7 Sep 16
Yes, there doesn't seem to be anything quite the same in other countries.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (118591)
• Switzerland
7 Sep 16
Very funny bush poetry Janet, I enjoyed it. I remember those underwear, girls used them in the sixties. I think I have a couple of corsets, very nice for sure, but that I never wore. I love to be free.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
7 Sep 16
I had one at one stage too. Wasn't it great to get rid of it?
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
8 Sep 16
@LadyDuck It takes a lot to defy gravity!
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (118591)
• Switzerland
8 Sep 16
@JudyEv I was a very happy woman when we moved to France and I discovered that most women there did not wear a bra. I always asked to myself why to wear one if you do not need one.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (34702)
• Gainesville, Florida
8 Sep 16
I really enjoyed your bush poetry! I even let out a (painful) laugh at the end! Thanks for sharing! And of course, how many people now think I wear a girdle because of the photo in your post? LOL
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
8 Sep 16
The photo is a bit misleading but it's the only one I had of underwear. Imagine anyone wearing something like that today!
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (34702)
• Gainesville, Florida
8 Sep 16
@JudyEv Maybe that's what I'm wearing right now!!!!
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
8 Sep 16
@moffittjc Never!! Really?? Has it got flowers or is it macho with guitars and motorbikes and stuff?
1 person likes this
@RubyHawk (21451)
• Atlanta, Georgia
7 Sep 16
I love it, That is the neatest. I hope you send us more of the same. I still have a couple of those sheaths. I cleared a few things out the other day, but I couldn't part with them.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
8 Sep 16
Glad you enjoyed it. I haven't heard them called that before. The photo isn't a corset of course but it was the only underwear photo I had. :)
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
8 Sep 16
@RubyHawk We have camisoles here which are a bit similar I suppose.
1 person likes this
@RubyHawk (21451)
• Atlanta, Georgia
8 Sep 16
@JudyEv Our camisoles are made of silk or a very light material, Sheaths and corsets are made of a very heavy material to pull everything in and give us a slim look.
1 person likes this
@responsiveme (14379)
• India
7 Sep 16
ha ha ha ha...great...do search up the third one please And the corset is SO pretty
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
7 Sep 16
It's not really a corset but it's the only photo I had of any underwear at all. Glad you enjoyed the poem.
1 person likes this
• India
7 Sep 16
@JudyEv Pretty underwear then....Australian flowers everywhere
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
7 Sep 16
@responsiveme I think it is a bit gross. There is no way I'd wear it. It is very old and a sample of what young unmarried ladies would make for their trousseau/glory box/hope chest/bottom drawer.
2 people like this
@Jessicalynnt (48190)
• Centralia, Missouri
7 Sep 16
so.... he wore it to claim it was his and not some tramp he picked up? bwhahahahahahh!!!! very good!
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
8 Sep 16
It says early in the piece that he was playing around so yes, he had to pretend it was his. Quick thinking on his part!
1 person likes this
• Centralia, Missouri
8 Sep 16
@JudyEv well I suppose it helped his posture? lol!!!!
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
8 Sep 16
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Sep 16
oh my gosh! i nearly spewed my tea 'cross the puter screen! jest delightful, ms. judy, i doth believe ya missed yer callin', my friend.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
8 Sep 16
I quite like writing them but they take a lot of effort. I've only ever written three and I can't find the other one. Sometimes I start a new one but then something easier comes along. I'm pleased you liked it.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Sep 16
@JudyEv yes ma'am, one 'f that length usually does :) i've not the patience to do long'uns myself, though used to back'n my youth. yepperz, jest tickled the heck outta me!
1 person likes this
@miniam (9304)
• Bern, Switzerland
7 Sep 16
Poor andrewr,thanks for sharing Judy,but what l did not understand was why he was wearing the corset,did the MRs insist on it?
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
8 Sep 16
He had been taking out women other than his wife and during some hanky-panky in the car with one of them, she had taken off her corset and put it in the glove box. When his wife found it, he quickly made up the excuse that his back had been playing up and that he wore the corset playing golf.
@miniam (9304)
• Bern, Switzerland
8 Sep 16
@JudyEv Thanks for the explanation,poor wife and maybe abit naiveè,she should have guessed
@just4him (89176)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
9 Sep 16
That was truly delightful!
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
10 Sep 16
Thanks, I'm really pleased that you liked it. :)
1 person likes this
@puddleglum (1439)
• United States
8 Sep 16
Being sentenced to wear the corset is poetic justice at its finest. Great poem--so colorful!
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
8 Sep 16
Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)
1 person likes this
@teamfreak16 (35213)
• Colorado Springs, Colorado
7 Sep 16
Wow, that was really good.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
8 Sep 16
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.
1 person likes this
@thelme55 (11474)
• Germany
7 Sep 16
Very funny!. I think this is the first time I have read bush poetry. Brilliant.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
8 Sep 16
Thanks. Most bush poetry is funny - or meant to be. :)
1 person likes this
@silvermist (15807)
• India
7 Sep 16
You have come up with a good one..What is the occasion when you are going to perform this in October?Is it only you performing on that day?
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
8 Sep 16
It is a bush poetry and country music day. Vin and I are each doing a poem and we were told we'd been allowed 8 minutes between us. I rarely do anything like this but as I've got older I'm not so scared about standing up and talking any more. I have written some monologues, a couple of which Vince has performed, and I really like it if I can make people laugh with whatever it is I write.
@5thHouse (1703)
• Sheffield, England
7 Sep 16
Really clever!
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
7 Sep 16
Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)
@BettyB (4289)
• Summerville, South Carolina
7 Sep 16
That's hilarious. Those that play usually pay in the end.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
7 Sep 16
I'm pleased you found it funny. :)
@JESSY3236 (4901)
• United States
7 Sep 16
nice poem.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
7 Sep 16
Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
1 person likes this
@Daljinder (19767)
• India
7 Sep 16
Serves him right!! I love the line "His footie shorts oh so tight" LOL!!!
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
7 Sep 16
Glad you enjoyed it. I will be performing it at a bush poetry day in a few weeks.
1 person likes this
@Inlemay (17333)
• South Africa
7 Sep 16
ha ha ha - well I suppose you have to live up to your lies - Love it, and BOWLS too slow?? - NEVER
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
7 Sep 16
Poetic licence! And bowls is played in this area. :)
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (22117)
• Canada
7 Sep 16
What a great poem, loved it!
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (97033)
• Bunbury, Australia
7 Sep 16
This is the one I'll perform at a bush poetry day early in October.
1 person likes this