... Then he was gone..

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You wouldn't realize it until someone's gone.. I bet you wouldn't realize anything at all.. And so I found it recently. I used to have a very rocky relationship with my father-in-law who lived with us because I've always treasured my privacy while he hated me for it. Thinking I'm isolating myself from the family. I've hated his attitude, his personality, the way he talks, his arrogance and most especially his way of things- everybody's dumb except him. At least that's how he made us all feel. He passed away last sept 28 at 10am. I remember going inside the ICU where I can see all these tubes and wires attached to his body and all I kept thinking was I owe this guy an apology. They say that when someone's near his death; the sense of hearing is the last to die off- so I did what I think was best. Ask an apology. I didn't realize I was already crying so much just telling him how sorry I felt for not opening up to him. For not talking to him as much or as often as I could now he's fading an all I could say are things that I should've done. Too late. I didn't feel any good knowing there's one less person in my husbands family that I have to deal with. What I feel is pure regret. He after all taught me a lot. And perhaps he's as proud as I am that's why none of us reached out to the other. Now, he wouldn't be able to see what his grandchild would look like.