Change (Journal#7)

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I look around and all I see are empty people. Empty people going through the daily daily routine in their mundane lives, yes they're walking, breathing, moving, but when you look deeper they are all dead inside. The more time goes by the more we forget what it feels like to have passion, excitement, and desires. I, myself, am trapped, silently going through my every tasks but on the inside I'm screaming to break free. I'm tired of going to a job I hate, making small talk, pursuing empty dreams, one day I'm going to break. All we seem to do is the exact same mindless thing every single day, and I'm scared that I'm going to end up like everyone else in this place. It is slowly driving me insane, how do I escape? How do I fill this void? What is the answer? Traveling, religion, fame? We just live for temporary moments and little bits of happiness to ease our pain, but as soon as the moments fade the dark thoughts creep up again. No one ever talks about it, we force ourselves to suppress it but we all know it's there. Who says there is only one way to live life anyway? Sometimes I feel like no one else understands. It's like, sure, you can dream but remember to be realistic. I look around and no one seems to be happy, everyone is looking into their phone screens to block themselves from reality because reality is too depressing. I watch everyone count down the clock, wasting time with our empty lives. People would rather settle and survive than take a chance to know what it really feels like to be alive. Surely, I cannot be wrong for wanting more in life. One day, I'll wake up and say I wasted my life away and I'll be the only one to blame. I can't let myself become that person, I refuse, I need to make a change. Life is not a movie, I can't just wait for things to magically fall into place because if I truly want to live then I want make something of myself. The change has to start today.