The Scammy On The Whammy

@celticeagle (119107)
Boise, Idaho
October 23, 2016 3:38pm CST
My shoulder was dislocated on October 6th due to an altercation with my grandson. He felt he should get his Xbox back(homework he was supposed to get done wasn't) and had taken it out of my room where it had been hidden, he had it clutched up against his middle. I went to take it and he pushed me. I fell back and in trying to correct my fall I caught my right arm back behind me and it was dislocated. I heard the shoulder crack. So, fast forward to today October 23rd and the day before my grandson's birthday. He had since taken his mom's laptop each day and payed on it all day. In the right world I feel this should have not been allowed but his mom is like milk toast and will let him do whatever he wants and not be authoritative with him. That is where I come in and I haven't felt like dealing with him due to my injury and taking pain pills which keep me a bit loopy. Today he comes up to ask me if I have the money to let him have something to eat tomorrow from his favorite fast food place. I told him that I didn't feel like giving him anything after his attitude and actions of the last couple weeks. I don't think he should have the opportunity of using the laptop and that I feel he is not being responsible and taking care of his situation very well. He feels I just am holding a grudge. I told him that if he though that keeping to the rules I have set down with him is 'holding a grudge' then fine. It is not like he won't get a birthday cake and it will be a celebrated birthday. He just won't be getting gifts. He needs the occasional wake up call. Tough love and love and logic. Not easy. For those of you that don't know my grandson is 13 and his mother, him and I all live together. My daughter asked me several years back to come live with them and help her to raise him. He is ODD, she is bi-polar and I have severe depression with panic attacks. We are all on medications. We did have a PSR who came out weekly but, due to a upgrade on his diagnosis the hours were cut and the one PSR we liked quit because for her to continue working as a PSR she had take some schooling which she would have to pay for and that she doesn't feel is worth it for the amount of hours she would be working. She has another job and this is just the remnants of her old job. The only other PSR available is one we don't care for and who doesn't do much for us. The other one was great. And so that is life in my world today. Do you think I am making the right decision? Should I give in because it is his birthday? I don't think so.
10 people like this
9 responses
@Corbin5 (112826)
• United States
23 Oct 16
Well, kids love structure. They feel secure knowing that rules are in place, and they feel secure when they know the breaking of those rules means that something occurs that is unpleasant. Waffling on those rules by going against what was the previously stated consequence will show him that structure is not present in his home, and he will feel insecure which will cause him to act out again and again.
4 people like this
@celticeagle (119107)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Oct 16
That is so true. I wish his mother was tougher in this regard. She doesn't want any confrontation. Love and logic is what I try to go by. Not always easy to let him see it for himself. He is getting better.
1 person likes this
@yukimori (9072)
• United States
23 Oct 16
Just because he wants something doesn't mean you should give it to him. If he wants money, perhaps there are a few things around the house he could do to earn a few dollars, but I wouldn't just hand it to him. He's old enough to start figuring out that the world doesn't owe him anything. If he's playing games online I'd simply change the WiFi password so he couldn't access it. Taking away the game system doesn't really make an effective consequence when he's going to turn around and keep playing games on the laptop.
3 people like this
@celticeagle (119107)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Oct 16
That was exactly my point. I think it is up to him to either do what he knows is right or not expect anything from us.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (74976)
• Canada
24 Oct 16
I think you are doing the right thing. You need to be firm. Sorry about your dislocated shoulder. That is terrible.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (119107)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Oct 16
THank you. It is tough and sometimes I am not sure I am doing what is right.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (74976)
• Canada
24 Oct 16
@celticeagle I know tough love is hard sometimes but he is at an age where he needs it!!
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119107)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Oct 16
@Happy2BeMe ......Very true.
1 person likes this
• Preston, England
24 Oct 16
if he is actually resorting to assault you probably need professional support to help bring him under control
2 people like this
@celticeagle (119107)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Oct 16
If it should happen again that is what will happen.
1 person likes this
@just4him (123853)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
24 Oct 16
You definitely made the right decision. Josh needs to learn responsibility. No, you should not give in because it's his birthday. He needs to understand he isn't going to always get what he wants. I hope he does have a happy birthday.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119107)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Oct 16
That's for sure. I get so tired of it. Glad it has gotten better.
1 person likes this
@just4him (123853)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
25 Oct 16
@celticeagle I hope he had a good birthday.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119107)
• Boise, Idaho
26 Oct 16
@just4him .....BIrthday cake and happy wishes.
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (47895)
• Centralia, Missouri
24 Oct 16
you have to do what you feel is best! It's a tough call no matter what you end up doing
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119107)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Oct 16
That is true. I just like to hear that I am making a good decision from others I guess.
1 person likes this
• Centralia, Missouri
25 Oct 16
@celticeagle Oh I can understand that for sure
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119107)
• Boise, Idaho
25 Oct 16
@Jessicalynnt ......I appreciate other viewpoints.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
24 Oct 16
You are doing the right thing - he needs to learn that good behaviour brings rewards, and bad behaviour brings punishments.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119107)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Oct 16
It is just so good to hear that sometimes. I like to know that I am doing right even though it is not always easy.
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (25825)
• United States
23 Oct 16
I think that you are right to stick to your rules.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119107)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Oct 16
Thanks. It is still tough.
• Rochester, New York
23 Oct 16
I think you should follow your gut and do what you need to do. Perhaps your daughter could step in and set her foot down. There is no reason what so ever for you to get hurt over a game system.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119107)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Oct 16
Ghee! What a concept. LOL I wish she would too. I also feel like I should have tried to grab it away from him. My instinct and his instinct to push me away. So who is right here? That is my dilemma.