Finding Love
By Raine38
@Raine38 (12387)
United States
October 30, 2016 4:08pm CST
My boyfriend's brother is going to the Philippines this thanksgiving to meet this lady he met online. He will spend two weeks there. Just a little bit of background, this brother have had some misfortunes when it comes to women and relationships. Long story short, he thinks that he can fix everything, and does not want to believe that he is being taken advantaged of until it's too late.
Anyway, I would like to believe that he got "inspired" to look for love there because I am from the Philippines and he can see how things are between his brother and I. We've been together long enough and I can say this is for long term. One day, he just called us and said that he is going there to meet this girl. Protective instincts suddenly surfaced, even though he is the older brother. He has never been anywhere outside the US, this is his first time to ride a plane, and from what we heard of the girl, she is not being truthful. As someone who's from there, her stories does not add up. I do not want to burst his bubble, so I shared my concerns to my boyfriend. He did try to warn him, but before he can even start, he seems like set on his ways and made it clear that he is not going to listen. I suggested that he at least pack with him my parent's home phone number in case of emergencies. I even offered to ask my parents or siblings to pick him up from the airport (since the cabs there will rip you off big time). But he said the girl should be there to pick him up. He is not even sure if she will show up but he believes she will.
Well, I guess he has to learn his lesson the hard (and expensive) way. He once asked me if I have single friends or college classmates from there. But I am not going that route. I have heard horror stories of broken friendships over matchmaking and introducing potential partners. I told him most of my friends are on my Facebook, so he can just go over my list and he can contact whoever. Where did he meet that girl? On craigslist. Go figure.
4 people like this
6 responses
@paigea (36143)
• Canada
30 Oct 16
I met my husband on line. When we met for the first time in person, we met at a public place and I took a cab there so the "stranger" I was meeting for the first time wouldn't see my car!
If I were your brother in law I would not be having that woman meet me at the airport. I would not be getting in the car with a stranger. I would have a plan to meet at a public place and not tell the person where I was staying.
He had the perfect opportunity to touch base with your family first and then go meet her. But, he has to figure it out it seems.
2 people like this
@infatuatedbby (94909)
• United States
30 Oct 16
Online works out for some, but now a days I hear horror stories. It is best to meet somewhere public, I agree.
2 people like this
@Raine38 (12387)
• United States
30 Oct 16
You did everything right to protect yourself. And he does not seem to care that he is not just traveling to another state to meet her. He will be flying for at least 19 hours with hours of layovers over 3 different countries in between. The same holds true for his trip back home, so why he is not trying to be cautious is beyond me. Love? Lust? I dont know. We just want him back safe. Not only physically but as well as emotionally and financially. He is not a rich man by all means, the trip will be taking a good chunk out of his savings, but of course that is no longer my business. I guess I just worry.
1 person likes this
@paigea (36143)
• Canada
30 Oct 16
@infatuatedbby I certainly didn't think I was going to meet someone I had already gotten to know. Meeting that first time in person was starting from scratch. The online part was just good for deciding we wanted to meet. It is concerning that he is going to meet her and already feels in love!
1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (94909)
• United States
30 Oct 16
Oh no - that does not seem very safe. 
I would feel comfortable if he had a friend to meet this girl or something?
I would feel comfortable if he had a friend to meet this girl or something?1 person likes this
@Raine38 (12387)
• United States
30 Oct 16
That is why I want him to get in touch with my parents or at least one of my siblings. He can be easily scammed there. But he is stubborn and lovesick over the lady. It is still a few weeks out so anything could happen. He might change his mind about going or at least meeting her all by himself. Like I said, this will be a very memorable and expensive lesson for him.
1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (94909)
• United States
30 Oct 16
@Raine38 And I am also assuming he isn't Filipino because you mentioned he is inspired because of the relationship you and your brother have.
I think it is best if someone occupies him when meeting this girl. For all we know - she can scam him. I hope, your boyfriend will be able to talk him out of this.
It is hard to control men's brains out of something.
1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (94909)
• United States
30 Oct 16
@Raine38
Yes, many people think just because we live in the United States - that every one is automatically rich. I think not. They do see foreigners as money on trees like you mentioned.
If she has lied about her age on several occasions, I cannot believe he still believes she is true. Have they FaceTimed prior? Or she can have a double life as in - she is already married too!
And he is possibly going there to waste his time and she is a no show! :( So many wrongs in this trip!
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
31 Oct 16
oh, god. i'm worried for him. maybe you can email him the names, contact numbers and address of your family, in case he loses his phone, and vice versa, give your family his flight details and picture. i guess it would also help if you know someone who works in the airport.
1 person likes this
@Raine38 (12387)
• United States
31 Oct 16
I will insist that he pack with him my family's contact information. I have told him that his Verizon phone will not work there - unless he wants to pay $200+ for a few minutes' worth of phone call. He wouldn't listen. I told my boyfriend that if his brother insists on using his phone there, even just turn it on to check messages, then I won't be surprised if he breaks the bank just to settle his phone bill.
1 person likes this
@acelawrites (19272)
• Philippines
30 Oct 16
I hope he won't get frustrated this time; and do hope the Filipina he wanted to meet will be honest with him too! Many say it is safer in the Philippine airport now under the administration of President Duterte. It is better if your relative or brother will fetch him for safety.
@Happy2BeMe (99353)
• Canada
30 Oct 16
That is so sad. It is never fun to hear about somebody who ends of hurt. And what makes it even sadder is he is traveling all that way and will have no place to go.
1 person likes this
@Raine38 (12387)
• United States
30 Oct 16
It is, especially if you know that he is bound to fail in this. Not to be a traitor to a fellow Filipina, but it sickens me that she is playing with someone's feelings. His airfare alone costs him $2,000+, not to mention his lodging, daily expenses, and income lost for not working for 2 weeks. Sigh!
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99353)
• Canada
31 Oct 16
@Raine38 so sad and then the hurt and heart ache he will feel. It is a shame.
@renicemae (4883)
• Philippines
31 Oct 16
Oh! I just hope that the lady he's seeing will treat him will and love him truthfully. If she's just using him for the money that would somewhat create a bad reputation to Filipinas. Some people would think like that and I don't want that to happen. I am a Filipina too!
1 person likes this
