What would YOU have seen in my place?

@RitzzView (2758)
India
October 31, 2016 1:25pm CST
LET ME BE HERE Six o' clock bought the evening so beautiful, but a completely opposite view was heard, "the place is dirty, don't sit there. Come inside". Lived in the same place we were the complete opposite. This was my mom who called me in. Yes, the floor here is indeed not so clean, also it was the time for mosquitoes to get in the house, but, did I mind? "I'll close the balcony's door if you want" this reply of mine shushed mom for a longer run. I admire the sun, the elegance in the rays, the pride of the brightness, the confidence in its stay and finally the calmness of the set. I couldn't see the sun, but the brightness could never be tamed. When my feets reached me here, eyes synched with the bright orange clouds accumulated over the west. Few lines even shined like a gold ornament. The other side wasn't dull at all. The light blue sky and the white clouds served the way for the little black birds to reach their homes. That's when I felt the wind touch my face and pass by. I inhaled deeply as I tried to capture all these within me. Apart from the sky, the ground seemed different. The water collected on the ground went all gray and dirt swam in like fish would. "It was the reason mosquitoes were increasing" I recalled mom's words. Over the dirty water was the foundation of a building waiting to me constructed. There was another building half done. Both were just piles of cement 4.5 meters long in approx. Above it stood iron rods naked. The workers roamed and silver roof of their temporary outhouses was seen from here. The balcony had plants with leaves faded and deserted mud held by the flowerpots. The view was brutal but beautiful as well. This is what I loved more, what could even be the better version of life more than this evening? -Ritika Mannadiar. (Two conflicting views could be seen here...what YOUR first view had been if you were in my place?
4 people like this
4 responses
@jaboUK (54867)
• United Kingdom
1 Nov 16
'Two men look through their prison bars, one sees the mud, the other sees the stars' - I forget who wrote that, but that is what you are describing so eloquently here. You brought the scene to life so well, this is a lovely piece of writing. I always look on the bright side too.
@RitzzView (2758)
• India
1 Nov 16
@ms1864 (6976)
• Bangalore, India
1 Nov 16
Views from my house are just walls...we have a boundary separating our colony from other buildings ...so we have a wall in front of out garden...only if we look directly above from our garden we get sky. P.S- Didn't know you are in Bangalore too.
@RitzzView (2758)
• India
1 Nov 16
I was there for a week. :)
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (19039)
• United States
1 Nov 16
Beautifully written. Is the contrast in that you were enjoying the beauty of the nature around you, where as your mom was more concerned with the dirtiness?
@RitzzView (2758)
• India
1 Nov 16
No. We both had distinctive views.(first line) Mom's more like "the dirt is the reality, so come back home." But I am like, the sky is beautiful, let me be here. What mom doesn't know is, I am not blind to see the dark side of the view, I am a realist as well! This is what I wanted to conclude. A realist not need to be negative always..
@amandajay (18071)
• North Shore, New Zealand
5 Nov 16
you have good writing skills