I want to work a regular job

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But I am afraid to accept the circumstances like I am arguing with my boss and colleagues, and the most important problem is that I get bored in the afternoon 3pm-4pm cos I have depression and schizophrenia. I must do the regular job as I want to and if I don't do then I don't have sufficient income to survive. I know there is online job as alternative but depending on it cannot bring sufficient income. Thinking about the job also a problem, some paperwork has deadline and too much to handle, I am thinking of saving money for the rainy days if I don't work a job outside. But I think I am useless and disobey child as my mother always encourage me to work outside to meet more people to let my depression recover. But still I have schizophrenia to handle. What should I do? Thank you mylotters who reply this discussion, I appreciate it very much.