Toilet paper with illustrated instructions?!
@asfarasiknow (3341)
Bournemouth, England
January 27, 2017 9:45am CST
Don't worry, I'm not going to make this too graphic...
I went shopping last night. Among the items I had to buy were, as we often call them in my country, loo rolls. I noticed that our best-known brand was on offer (it's normally quite expensive) so I opted for that (well, you have to live it up a bit sometimes, don't you?)
I was surprised to see that the packet actually contained illustrated instructions on how to use the product! Not with any anatomical representations, you understand, but with pictures of sheets and guidelines on how many to use.
These could be seen to be ensuring that customers use a fair amount of the product and therefore soon have to buy more. The amusing marketing ploy also suggested using another of their items: moist tissues.
I can't help thinking that anyone old enough to do their own shopping probably already has a wealth of experience in using these particular, highly necessary goods. But then again, we are constantly subjected to seemingly unnecessary information, for example, packets of nuts marked with 'may contain nuts'.
At least the information wasn't a tissue of lies (sorry, couldn't resist).
Have you ever read instructions or warnings that appear completely unnecessary/obvious?
25 people like this
24 responses
@LadyDuck (458230)
• Switzerland
30 Jan 17
@asfarasiknow I remember that I have read about the complaints about the new £5 notes. This is ridiculous, I do not think that vegetarian/vegan people consider to "consume" the banknotes.
1 person likes this
@asfarasiknow (3341)
• Bournemouth, England
30 Jan 17
@LadyDuck No, there are plenty of things that eat up our cash but not usually people doing it literally!
3 people like this
@asfarasiknow (3341)
• Bournemouth, England
30 Jan 17
I guess that's for the benefit of the vegetarian/vegan lobby. We had complaints in the UK when our new plastic £5 notes were found to contain tallow.
1 person likes this
@JamesHxstatic (29242)
• Eugene, Oregon
27 Jan 17
How funny that is! I have seen many of these ludicrous warnings, but at 9 AM on Saturday morning can't think of a one (mind like a sieve).
3 people like this
@asfarasiknow (3341)
• Bournemouth, England
27 Jan 17
I would imagine there would be a fair few on bird foods.
1 person likes this
@JamesHxstatic (29242)
• Eugene, Oregon
28 Jan 17
@asfarasiknow Hmm, all I have seen is "not for human consumption" on the suet.
2 people like this
@asfarasiknow (3341)
• Bournemouth, England
28 Jan 17
@JamesHxstatic I'd go along with that, judging by the smell that the pellets leave on my hands.
I think with bird food it may be more about some of the claims made, such as 'birdsong mix', which is supposed to attract the most melodic. Presumably if you don't use it then your garden won't have a dawn chorus each morning!
2 people like this
@arthurchappell (45002)
• Preston, England
28 Jan 17
please remove item from the box is a classic - like doh! I had to open it even to get the instructions out. Not goiing to sit there with my radio still sealed up wondering why it won't come on by itself
2 people like this
@arthurchappell (45002)
• Preston, England
8 Feb 17
@asfarasiknow I have some action figure models still in their boxes with that in mind
1 person likes this
@asfarasiknow (3341)
• Bournemouth, England
28 Jan 17
Unless they're thinking that it will be like a Matchbox or Dinky car: worth a fortune in 50 years' time if it's never been taken out of its packaging and actually enjoyed.
1 person likes this
@asfarasiknow (3341)
• Bournemouth, England
9 Feb 17
@arthurchappell They sound like serious investments.
1 person likes this
@pgntwo (22408)
• Derry, Northern Ireland
27 Jan 17
@asfarasiknow True, yes. On your original point, I thought the instruction "Use this side first" might feature... 
2 people like this
@asfarasiknow (3341)
• Bournemouth, England
27 Jan 17
We'd complain if the contents WEREN'T hot - unless it's one of those freezing frappe-whatever-they're-called-inos, you know, the ones where you take a big sip and then feel as if your eyeballs have dropped out.
1 person likes this
@pgntwo (22408)
• Derry, Northern Ireland
27 Jan 17
@asfarasiknow
"Conserve resources - use both sides." ?
"Conserve resources - use both sides." ?1 person likes this
@TheHorse (205815)
• Walnut Creek, California
18 Feb 17
I always assume that "the lawyers made them do it." Maybe it's for recent immigrants from places where they don't have a lot of TP, as we call it here. How many squares do they recommend, by the way? I have an on-going argument with a friend about this. She requires a cloud of about 20 squares, and then calls for her husband to unplug the toilet. I require...substantially less than that.
2 people like this
@MarshaMusselman (38659)
• Midland, Michigan
20 Feb 17
Maybe if her husband made her unplug the toilet she'd realize that she didn't need quite that many.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (205815)
• Walnut Creek, California
20 Feb 17
@asfarasiknow One square would be a bit dicey. What she saves in TP will be more than compensated for by the extra soap used after "breakthroughs."
2 people like this
@asfarasiknow (3341)
• Bournemouth, England
20 Feb 17
@MarshaMusselman @TheHorse The singer Sheryl Crow once said that everyone should only use just one square per visit! I always thought her song 'A Change Would Do You Good' must have been written about her underwear.
2 people like this
@asfarasiknow (3341)
• Bournemouth, England
13 Feb 17
Those are images I would want pixelated out!
1 person likes this
@josie_ (9763)
• Philippines
14 Feb 17
@asfarasiknow _ A brilliant idea comes to mind for the company to make more money. They should produce two variations, a GP rated and a rated R only. 
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
23 Mar 17
Interesting. ..Sounds like a good marketing ploy for sure.
1 person likes this
@asfarasiknow (3341)
• Bournemouth, England
26 Mar 17
Maybe it's just a way to fill up any remaining blank.space on the wrapper but the extra print must cost money.
@asfarasiknow (3341)
• Bournemouth, England
8 Mar 17
It's amazing what some cost. You'd expect them to have personalised embroidery as well as quilting!
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
23 Feb 17
I have never seen instructions on toilet paper that is too bizarre!! Yes there are many inane instructions out there.
1 person likes this
@asfarasiknow (3341)
• Bournemouth, England
23 Feb 17
I almost feel that the instructions should be preceded by a title, such as 'And here are some pictures for the hard of thinking...'.
1 person likes this
@PatZAnthony (14752)
• Charlotte, North Carolina
9 Feb 17
Yes, it is silly what is written on some packages. No one wants to be sued for not warning you about the nuts in that package of nuts.
2 people like this
@PatZAnthony (14752)
• Charlotte, North Carolina
14 Feb 17
@asfarasiknow The attorney could probably find the way to the home of anyone with the thought of suing, making it easy for those who do need instructions.
2 people like this
@asfarasiknow (3341)
• Bournemouth, England
13 Feb 17
But if you needed instructions to use toilet paper would you really be able to find your way to a lawyer's offices?
2 people like this
@MarshaMusselman (38659)
• Midland, Michigan
20 Feb 17
Nothing quite that bad is coming to my remembrance. I'm guessing your comment of 'tissue of lies' is a sort of pun except I'm not familiar with that phrase so I don't get it.
The main problem with using more sheets than needed is it can plug up the receptacle unless a person does like you have to do in certain countries which is throw the used sheet into a trash container rather than flushing them down the loo.
We have many food items in the states where it says it may have been processed in an area that also processes nuts, but I don't think our nut packages says what yours does. I work in a grocery store and will have to read the ingredients to see whether I'm wrong on that one or not.
1 person likes this
@MarshaMusselman (38659)
• Midland, Michigan
13 Mar 17
@asfarasiknow I wouldn't think celery would cause problems either, but how people become allergic to the different types of foods in the first place is beyond me. They probably declare things just to be on the side of caution.
1 person likes this
@asfarasiknow (3341)
• Bournemouth, England
13 Mar 17
We use the phrase 'tissue of lies' to mean a flimsy, untrue story.
I am surprised at the length of the list of food ingredients that may have to be mentioned for health and safety reasons. I was in a Chinese restaurant and saw a notice mentioning that their dishes might contain any of about 15 different types. I wasn't surprised by the mentions of nuts and shellfish but I had never considered celery an ingredient that needs to be declared.
1 person likes this
@just4him (306386)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
29 Jan 17
@asfarasiknow You never know.
1 person likes this
@asfarasiknow (3341)
• Bournemouth, England
28 Jan 17
I guess there might just possibly be some person somewhere who might actually need those instructions or warnings.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (325849)
• Rockingham, Australia
28 Jan 17
A letter from my doctor reminded me it was time for a Pap smear and said I'd be informed by post when the results came. At that time I should make another appointment to discuss the results. If the results are negative why would I need to make another appointment? I saw this as a ploy for the doctor to be able to charge our national health scheme for my visit. It wouldn't cost me anything but with many women having negative results it would be nice little earner for him.
2 people like this
@asfarasiknow (3341)
• Bournemouth, England
28 Jan 17
Perhaps he plans to give out congratulatory certificates (subject to a small fee to cover administration, of course).
1 person likes this
@JohnRoberts (109857)
• Los Angeles, California
27 Jan 17
Sort of reminds of the old joke: a packet says instant water just add water.
2 people like this
@asfarasiknow (3341)
• Bournemouth, England
27 Jan 17
Or that blurb on the mineral water bottle about how many millions of years old the spring is...followed by a 'best before' date.
4 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
15 Feb 17
There are things from time to time I will read the instructions on, sometimes even just for fun. But something like the Toilet paper unless it is to encourage you to use more faster, this does not seem a viable printing topic.
1 person likes this
@asfarasiknow (3341)
• Bournemouth, England
15 Feb 17
I've been using the stuff for over 50 years and this is the first time I've seen nstructions! They're a bit late for me!
@scarlet_woman (23465)
• United States
29 Jan 17
yea,but if they don't explain for the stupids out there,they could get sued if they get hurt.
i bought a hair dryer recently that said don't use in bathtub..
1 person likes this
@asfarasiknow (3341)
• Bournemouth, England
30 Jan 17
Perhaps the warnings could be preceeded by the words 'BTW for the benefit of the ultra-litigious...'
1 person likes this
@sabtraversa (12952)
• Italy
9 Feb 17
I've never seen toilet paper with instructions, but if that's for making the customer buy more, I understand.
There can be people who don't know how to use toilet paper, you never know. 
And maybe you even shaked hands with them. Okay, that was too graphic, sorry. 
And maybe you even shaked hands with them. Okay, that was too graphic, sorry. 1 person likes this
@asfarasiknow (3341)
• Bournemouth, England
13 Feb 17
Maybe that's why President Trump famously has a dislike of shaking people's hands.
1 person likes this
@asfarasiknow (3341)
• Bournemouth, England
22 Feb 17
Thank you! I am a bit concerned about the poor illustrator who has to show off loo-roll instruction pictures as part of his or her portfolio of artistic works.
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (49010)
• United States
12 Feb 17
Yes, I have come across quite a few
1 person likes this
@asfarasiknow (3341)
• Bournemouth, England
13 Feb 17
They make life a bit more entertaining and possibly help the 1 in a million who need them!
@Marilynda1225 (79769)
• United States
22 Feb 17
I never would have expected toilet paper to come with instructions but I guess companies have to cover their "butts" in case someone is not very knowledgeable in this dept 
1 person likes this
@asfarasiknow (3341)
• Bournemouth, England
22 Feb 17
They wouldn't want to end up in court as the 'quilt-y' party.
