I don't get how you can give birth and not be there.
February 15, 2017 2:22am CST
I will never understand parents who put their wants before their children's needs. I don't understand how you can create a human life and not love them enough to put them first. I'm not saying that parents don't deserve some me time from time to time. I don't think kids should always get what they want, but I do believe when you create a life your job as a whole is to put them first. My ex SIL has always put everything before her children. She puts her partying before her children's safety. She may prefer to leave them with someone more responsible, but if that responsible person isn't available she has no trouble dropping them off with a stranger. Yesterday was family day at my son's school, which is also the same school two of my nieces go to, and I get a call from my niece asking if I can take them to it, I would have offered to take them in the first place, only I thought their mom was going to take them. Apparently not. Usually their mom goes to those things because she wants people to think she's such a good mother, only everyone knows different. I mean she stole money from the fundraiser they did. She actually collected peoples money for the items and then took their money, the school actually pressed charges. Everyone there knows she doesn't take care of the kids, but she still has no problem showing up to functions. She has no shame. My brother does what he can, but he works a lot to support them, since she clearly doesn't help with anything. She has partial custody, and my brother doesn't want to go for full custody because he doesn't want the girls to hate him. We keep telling him, that it's what would be better for them, but he won't do it, because he feels like he'd be keeping them from her and whether he likes it or not she's their mother. I feel so bad for them, and I wish I could do more for them. I just hate that anything we do for them she benefits from. She doesn't have a job half of the time, but can't be bothered to actually do things with them. She disappoints them time and time again, she makes promises she can't or won't keep. They have no clue what a family life is supposed to feel like. My youngest niece was jealous that we took my son to the library, it wasn't even some place that's super fun. We just spend time with him. My brother does what he can for them, but they need their mom, and she doesn't want to be a mother. She's almost 30 and can't be bothered to be a mother. It's frustrating for me. My brother is this great guy, and he wants them to have their mother, but she doesn't want to be their mother, she'd rather be their friend when it's convenient for her. Being a parent isn't about convenience, it's being there even when it's hard. Your child shouldn't have to be sick and waiting forever for someone to bother to come and get you from school, because you can't be bothered to give them your phone number. It's taking care of your kid's hair when they have lice, it's being there even when you want to check out, but knowing you can't because they need you. You don't get to pick and choose your parenting moments. Your job is to be there, especially when you would rather not be. I don't enjoy ER visits, lice treatments, doctor's appointments, temper tantrums, fussy eaters, having to be the bad guy, but I deal with those things because I'm a mom. I don't understand how you can have a child and not feel some sort of need to protect them at all costs, the need to make sure they know how much you love them. How can you just create a life and decide to raise them and them neglect them? I don't understand it. If you can't be a parent you should give them to someone that wants them. She would have been better off walking away and letting my brother raise them. He's a great dad, and he gives everything he can to them, and unfortunately he doesn't get to be at all of the conferences or family events, but he does his best. He has family willing to step in for him when he can't be there. She can be there and chooses not to. As a mother I will never be able to understand that. My child is my greatest accomplishment. How could she not feel the same way? All those kids want is to feel loved and appreciated, and my brother does his best, but they need their mother. If she wasn't there from the beginning it might be different, because they wouldn't have her constantly there to disappoint them, but she's there but isn't there for them. I feel so bad for them. I don't get how she doesn't care more. Her kids are going to grow up and have no respect for her, and she'll be the one who did it. I just hope they remember it's their dad that's always been there for them. My brother deserves all of the recognition he gets. He doesn't talk bad about their mom in front of them, and does his best to be nice to their mom for them, even when he can't stand her. He's a good person, and he deserves so much better than what he has to deal with.
• United States
15 Feb 17
They have never came first. She left when my oldest niece wasn't even a year old, my brother told her she couldn't take my niece, so she left my niece and took off, and came back a few months later when the guy she left for kicked her to the curb. I don't get how you could just leave your kid.