Parenting is difficult

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As a parent I struggle with knowing the right way to handle some things. It's hard to be a parent anymore, because people are so quick to judge you or call child services on you. If you spank your kids people scream abuse. If you don't spank them people think they're spoiled brats, and that you can't handle them. I've learned that no matter what I do someone is going to judge me, so I do my best to do what's right for my son. I discipline the way that works for him. I've found taking things away and giving timeouts work best for him, because he doesn't like sitting still, so it's torture for him. My son is disciplined, and I will discipline him no matter where we go, so he knows not to act up. The end result is that I have a well behaved, polite little boy. He's respectful, and he's honest (usually anyway). I can trust my kid, because he knows there will be consequences if he lies. He knows that if he acts up it won't be tolerated, so he rarely does it. Yesterday we were at the library, and I overheard my son talking to a little girl and I was so proud of him. The little girl asked if he wanted to go play over in an area where I couldn't see him and he goes "I have to stay where my mommy can see me, let me go ask my mommy if we can go over there" and then he came over and asked if we could go over to the other area so he could play, and I told him we could, I was so proud of him. My son was a terror until he hit about 4, before that we always had to get after him, because he was so hyper and didn't always want to listen. We were non stop getting after him and having to argue with him about everything. Finally my strong willed boy learned that he had to listen to mommy and daddy, and that we had rules for a reason. It took us a long time, but we got there. It was us never giving in and sticking through the hard parts, sure we could have given in, but then he wouldn't have learned anything. In some ways it would have been easier, but then we'd be living with a little terror. It's easier when they're smaller and you can still be in charge, but eventually they get bigger and become more than you can handle. I'd rather me discipline my son today, than have to see a police officer do it later. I get a lot of compliments on how well behaved my son is, and that's because we have worked hard to get him to where he is today. Part of my son's charm is because that is part of who he is, but the behavior is because we made sure he was always polite and respectful. My son's teachers have always loved him, and they've always told me how sweet, and polite he is. My son is still stubborn, that's part of who he is, but he also knows his limits. He can be a whiner, but he doesn't get his way, and he's still learning. At 6 years old he acts better than a lot of kids much older than him. He is outgoing, and loves talking to everyone. He understands some people are bad, but says he hopes they learn to be good, because that's who he is. He's innocent and sweet, and part of that I think is luck that that's his personality. The other part is parenting. Most parents have no clue what they're doing, they do their best and hope their kids turn out right, but then you have those parents that just don't care. They do what's easy and not what's right. You have to try to be a parent, it's difficult and we all mess up, but if you're not trying then you can't expect your kids to either. There are times I'd love to check out and take a break, but I can't, because a mom, and this is what I signed on for. It's not always going to be easy, actually if I'm being honest parenting sucks more than it doesn't, being exhausted, hearing your kids call out your name over and over because they aren't getting their way, being thrown up on, being frustrated when they refuse to listen, arguing over their homework, being forced to go to things you'd rather not go to for your children. Most parents don't enjoy children's birthday parties, but it's a sacrifice they make for their children. Being terrified that something bad could happen to the tiny human you love so much. I'm constantly worried about my son. I'm worried if I'm doing the right thing, I worry about his safety, I worry when he's sick. There's a lot of worrying. Never in my life have I had so much to be worried about. But while it's exhausting and it does often suck more than it doesn't, I wouldn't trade a second of it, because one smile from my son, one kind comment about how amazing he is, or just my son being him makes up for all of that. Seeing him learn and grow, it makes every single thing worth it, every single sacrifice is worth it. No parent really knows what they're doing. We are all afraid we're messing it all up, but most of us do our best. As long as you aren't abusing or neglecting your child, and you actually discipline them in the way that works for your child, I think your kid will probably be just fine. The most important thing you can do as a parent is love your child, and let them know that you love them. My son doesn't go a day without hearing how much I love him. When I became a mom for the first time, people were so busy throwing advice at me, but I didn't really hear what I needed to hear. I wish someone would have just said "we're all scared at first, but you'll figure it out" I just need one person to tell me that I was going to be fine, that I would figure it out, instead of a list of dos and don'ts. I picked up everything as I went, and so far my son seems to be fine. I think we all do the best we can and hope for the best. There's no perfect parent, sometimes people look like they have it together, but chances are they don't. I do believe in discipline in one form or another, because without it your child won't learn, but the way you choose to discipline as long as it's not abuse should be up to the parent, because only parents know what works for their children. Parenting is tough, and however we choose to do it, what matters is that our children know we love them, and that we keeping giving them our best, even if our best today isn't what it was the day before, we all get tired, and we give the best of what we can.