The Frustrating Challenges of Winters in Florida

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Sure, a whole bunch of you get to enjoy the winter sports. Skiing and the ski bunnies, sledding and tobogganing (there, I think I finally spelled that right), feeding chickadees, and getting your car towed out of the ditch. But here in Florida, what do we endure in the winter time? The potential for sunburns, breaking a sweat while wearing a t-shirt even when you're just walking along, endless droves of people acting as though their winters are worse so they commute here in massive convoys via gargantuan RV's they shouldn't be allowed to drive, and tourists from around the globe, dragging along their various versions of SARS and Zeka. Wow, but I miss the days of the snorkle-hood parka and mittens so padded and heavy you don't even have the dexterity to remove them. I pine for the days when the subtle hump in the several feet of snow likely harbors the car. How I miss the days when I had to hold my frozen, dead hands under the cold water to see if life could be restored to them soon. What do we deal with here? Being outside in January wearing little more than shorts and sandals but still fighting the burly mosquitoes that are determined to destroy us for a laugh. Could we ever truly enjoy snow for the winter or, come on now, just Christmas? Only if it's one of those pathetic bubble machines disseminating soap bubbles that are supposed to look like snow but they somehow gravitate to the whiny children's eyes, leaving them shrieking as though they took an errant arrow to the thigh. I grew up in upstate New York, and have heady memories of not seeing the sun for weeks or even months at a time. Here in Florida, it's nothing but abundant sunshine from dawn to dusk. Oh sure, you can ramble on about how we can enjoy the theme parks with leaner visitors (in numbers, that is) and at drastically reduced rates, but how could it possibly compare to the adventure of crunching through the ice and snow to get to the slopes? I know I should count my blessings, but sometimes your memories are the ones that are the fond ones. Slathering on sunscreen on the beach in February will not likely be among those, just to be honest.