My son's need to socialize when he isn't supposed to

@sissy15 (5391)
United States
April 22, 2017 12:52am CST
My son had his first tball game today. I think it's fair to say he has A LOT more practicing to do. This is his second year and he still barely knows what he's doing. He enjoys socializing more than playing. I'm trying to teach him to focus but he has such a difficult time with it. Anymore he's so stubborn and he just doesn't care about doing anything but playing. I'm trying to teach him there's a time and place for socializing and that it's not nice to distract others from doing what they're supposed to be doing. His buddy that's on the team with him is a lot like my son and they both distract each other and we keep telling them to put them on opposite sides of the field. Our issue has a lot to do with keeping him interested in something. He is such a smart kid but he lacks focus in anything he doesn't care about. My son can look at lego diagrams and put things together by just looking at it and he can build fairly well freestyle too and he loves drawing and coloring and coming up with stories, he's very creative but when it comes to needing to focus and read or do math he wants nothing to do with it. If he thinks it's boring or "too hard" he won't even try. I've been torturing both of us lately and forcing him to read a whole book by himself with very little help from me. I only ask him letter sounds and help him think for himself. Part of me feels like this is because he's an only child and he just wants to spend most of his time socializing instead of working. I just know this summer I have to keep working with him so he doesn't forget everything he has learned.
5 people like this
5 responses
@Courtlynn (66738)
• United States
22 Apr 17
Is he ADD?
@sissy15 (5391)
• United States
22 Apr 17
I've wondered if he is ADHD but right now it's difficult to say, he's still too young to really tell. I'm waiting a bit before I have him tested. I am very anti-medication. If I can avoid putting him on meds I will.
@Courtlynn (66738)
• United States
22 Apr 17
@sissy15 how old is he? Cause I know people who found out they were ADD &/or ADHD by age of 4.
@sissy15 (5391)
• United States
22 Apr 17
@Courtlynn He's 6 but I always thought diagnosing young seems insane to me because at that age some kids just have a lot of extra energy especially boys. ADHD is over diagnosed because they go based on symptoms and not a real test and then they are too quick with putting kids on medication. Some kids really do just have extra energy and you can find other ways to channel it without medication. My son's behavior is also recent. Within the past few months so I'm not entirely convinced that's what it is. He's always been hyper but he has always been able to focus to some degree but he is choosing to socialize instead of doing work. I think a lot of it is a confidence thing. He doesn't think he can do something so instead he'll talk instead of doing something he figures he can't do.
@celticeagle (117189)
• Boise, Idaho
22 Apr 17
Consistency and follow through. That's all you can do.
@sissy15 (5391)
• United States
22 Apr 17
That's what I'm doing, it's difficult. He's mad at me because I've been making him do twice as much work at home in order to make up for the stuff he isn't doing in school due to his socializing when he's not supposed to.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (117189)
• Boise, Idaho
22 Apr 17
@sissy15 ......Kids are going to get mad at parents. That is just life.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (5391)
• United States
22 Apr 17
@celticeagle Yup, it's the story of my life here lately lol.
1 person likes this
@PatZAnthony (12343)
• Charlotte, North Carolina
22 Apr 17
There are many who will sympathize with you on this issue. Some are just so social and have more trouble than others doing what must be done first.
@sissy15 (5391)
• United States
22 Apr 17
It's difficult trying to figure out what to do about it because he has to learn when he can and can't talk.
1 person likes this
@PatZAnthony (12343)
• Charlotte, North Carolina
22 Apr 17
@sissy15 Some will never learn this. Still gives me a problem b/c what comes to my mind often spills out of my mouth. Maybe he is bored and needs something like learning to play a musical instrument to teach him focus?
@sissy15 (5391)
• United States
22 Apr 17
@PatZAnthony Can't really afford anything like that. We are doing what we can.
• Philippines
22 Apr 17
Well I think he is so smart that what he does is just a bit of what he can do. Smart kids are get bored easily if things are pretty easy with them. They need something difficult or they need to find things where they can be more creative so they can focus. Your son is so smart I pray to Jesus that he will find soon what he really love and be greater each day on that field. But you know since he know how to socialize that is a plus.. . More smart kids can't communicate well to other people god bless you all.
@sissy15 (5391)
• United States
22 Apr 17
Thank you, he's smart but he's not a genius. He doesn't try when it comes to some things like reading. He wants people to do things for him.
@jstory07 (65324)
• Roseburg, Oregon
22 Apr 17
I worked with my kids every summer to keep what they learned in their head.
@sissy15 (5391)
• United States
22 Apr 17
It's a lot and they act like you're torturing them lol but I think the effort is worth it. My parents never worked with me and I would almost always have to relearn everything.