Tell Them What They Need to Hear, Not What They Want to Hear

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Have you ever had to tell someone what they needed to hear and not what they wanted to hear? I have an ex, from high school who messages me randomly. This started about a month ago. I guess he just got out of jail. He is always wanting to know, what I am doing and if I can hang out. Normally I ignore it. The other day though, it got annoying. I mean, I am engaged and he is married. I don't think it would be right for us to hang out. I told him that he should be hanging out with his family, since he has been away for so long. He shouldn't be trying to hang out with other women. He has been messaging my sister as well. When I told him how I felt, he got very defensive and said I was being judgemental. I just felt like since he has been away from his family for so long (Wife and kids) he should be hanging out with them.