Does being the second one show you are the intruder?

@waflay (2727)
Nairobi, Kenya
June 19, 2017 8:35am CST
I saw this in a Facebook group post where this lady needed some advice on the way forward concerning her marriage.She had been married for the past one year as a second wife but only learned of her husband's first wife after she gave birth to her child.She claimed that her husband kept his first union as a secret and her marriage seems to be failing because there is no feeling of security. Her dilemma is her husband has since changed and there has been no communication between them since he claims to be too busy to get time for any talk.So she wonders whether to hang on with hopes of a better tomorrow though she seems like a stranger on her own because she knows no one of her husband's immediate family. Following keenly, most of the respondents were condemning her for wrecking the first wife's marriage.Others told her that even if she was unknowingly in a union with a married man, she ought to walk out since she already unearthed the secret.So does being the second wife in a marriage show that you are out to no good to the first wife?
2 responses
20 Jun 17
The guy actually played a huge part for playing with the woman's feelings. He knew from the start that he is still married with another woman, why would he then ask another one to marry him? The first wife, if she's bothering the second, should know that the guy asserted first. And as for both women, why why should they fight each other for that guy? I mean, if a person really wants to stay, sh/she will make a way. The second wife has the choice to let go, to stand on her own. It's not her fault because she didn't know in the first place. After learning about the first marriage of the guy, she can decide then if she still has to fight or not. After all, she's not worthy of keeping a liar.
1 person likes this
@waflay (2727)
• Nairobi, Kenya
20 Jun 17
I guess this lady is short of the direction to take after being betrayed by someone that she trusted, as a husband and a father to her child.It's the hard reality but she ought to accept the situation and make a sane decision once and for all.
21 Jun 17
@waflay That's true. She really needs to accept the fact that she has to be strong on her own.
1 person likes this
@mandala100 (48488)
• Hong Kong
20 Jun 17
It's really a pity but she need to face the consequences of her decision.
1 person likes this
@waflay (2727)
• Nairobi, Kenya
20 Jun 17
It's an unfortunate situation for her but I think it's her decision to weigh her options.This is something that she cannot change but can make it fit for herself by avoiding being a victim full of regrets.