You Gave An Inch, They Want to Take A Mile

@Raine38 (12257)
United States
July 2, 2017 12:20pm CST
I have a friend who needs help, a small favor to ask from me. Since I have time today to do it for her and it is something that I can do, I agreed to help her. After it's done, she wants something changed, something that she is very well and capable of doing. And because I have all my stuff tucked away and I am already doing something else, I suggested that she do it herself as I have given her everything she needs to work on it. But no, she insists that I do it. Why is it that when you try to help someone, there are times that instead of being thankful, they will demand more from you? It just irritates me sometimes when I know that they can very well do it themselves. It is another thing if I know that they are incapable of the change, I will understand that. People like her make me wary of helping out. Oh well...
15 people like this
16 responses
Kandase
@Kandae11 (53679)
•
2 Jul 17
Sometimes people think you are easy and try to take advantage.
5 people like this
Raine38
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
2 Jul 17
You are correct, and that is so sad. Someday they will really need help and nobody will be willing to go and help them.
1 person likes this
Marlina
@marlina (154166)
• Canada
2 Jul 17
You have to be on your guards as if you don't they will soon be taking advantage of you full time.
4 people like this
Raine38
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
2 Jul 17
That's what I am afraid of. At first, I will give them the benefit of doubt. But when warning signs and red flags start to show then I am out.
2 people like this
Marlina
@marlina (154166)
• Canada
14 Nov 17
@Raine38 And that's the way to go!
Shavkat
@Shavkat (137215)
• Philippines
3 Jul 17
Some people are so abusive. I stay away from them as much as possible.
2 people like this
Raine38
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
4 Jul 17
Looks like that is the only way to go and the best way to deal people like her.
1 person likes this
Shavkat
@Shavkat (137215)
• Philippines
4 Jul 17
@Raine38 I have some friends like this who can't stop asking a favor. That's too annoying.
Oshy
@TiarasOceanView (70035)
• United States
2 Jul 17
Yes this is why many people are wary of helping because of people like her.
3 people like this
Raine38
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
2 Jul 17
People like her ruin it for those who legitimately need and could use help.
1 person likes this
Oshy
@TiarasOceanView (70035)
• United States
2 Jul 17
@Raine38 Yes thats right.
Judy Story
@jstory07 (134460)
• Roseburg, Oregon
2 Jul 17
That just seems to be human nature. The more you give someone the more they want.
2 people like this
Raine38
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
2 Jul 17
That is so true.
Sai
@vsai2008 (11796)
• India
2 Jul 17
I too have come across such people, few of them didn't even acknowledge the help received I felt very bad for being taken for granted
2 people like this
Raine38
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
2 Jul 17
I cannot blame you. It is a simple favor but no thank you from her or appreciation. I do not think it's too much to ask for a little gratitude.
1 person likes this
Raine38
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
2 Jul 17
@vsai2008 So sorry to hear that. Shame on her for taking advantage of your kindness. I am sure that when she needs help again people around her will think twice about aiding her.
1 person likes this
Sai
@vsai2008 (11796)
• India
2 Jul 17
@Raine38 It wasn't a simple favor on my part. It involved money as well and that too my parents'. I can never forget that when she completely ditched me even after she started earning
1 person likes this
celticeagle
@celticeagle (159058)
• Boise, Idaho
2 Jul 17
Because you have the history of doing and so she knows she can continue to push and get more from you. Boundaries need to set.
1 person likes this
celticeagle
@celticeagle (159058)
• Boise, Idaho
15 Nov 17
@Raine38 .....Good.
Raine38
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
2 Jul 17
Yep, you are correct. Not anymore.
1 person likes this
rebel_woman06
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
14 Nov 17
Now you know that your friend is an abusive one. If I asked a favor from a friend and she would do it but has some changes I would like done, I do it myself.
ARIES1973
@ARIES1973 (11426)
• Legaspi, Philippines
21 Jul 17
Sometimes, it is okay to say no when you know you won't be able to do it. I guess they also need to understand that we also have our own priorities. Maybe we just have to tell them so they will understand. I guess they can't do anything if we decline.
Lenore Plassman
@sallypup (57884)
• Centralia, Washington
15 Nov 17
I hope the friend does not continue to step on you and take advantage of your good nature.
Raine38
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
15 Nov 17
She kept her distance for a while when I stood my ground. It's not a matter of pride or principle, it's a matter of consideration and being appreciative, I think. But after a while, I think she missed me or she came to her senses because we started talking again like it didn't happen. No mention of that incident either.
1 person likes this
DianneN
@DianneN (246849)
• United States
15 Nov 17
Sometimes we let people walk all over us until we learn how to say NO. Don't be an easy target and just help those who really need it.
1 person likes this
Raine38
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
15 Nov 17
I think I will let once slide. But the bad part is once we allowed that to slide, they expect to be given the same courtesy every time! You are correct, learning to say NO is important as much as learning when to say YES.
Claudia Kirkland
@CRK109 (14558)
• United States
22 Jul 17
There are times in life when people are needy. I know that very well since I've been very needy myself. And I've watched friends walk away because my neediness became irritating to them. And I understand that, too. Not much we can do Life hands us problems and we have to deal somehow. sometimes we have friends who can help and sometimes we have to do for ourselves. At least you tried and I'm sure your friend is thankful for that.
Reine25
@Lucky15 (37346)
• Philippines
18 Jul 17
it is frustrating that if we can not be there, we will be "tagged" as a mean friend ;/
ingrid
@ridingbet (66857)
• Philippines
14 Nov 17
that is almost always the case here. you give them a finger, they want the whole arm
1 person likes this
Raine38
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
15 Nov 17
I know, right? Maybe they want to see how far they can push you.
Val
@valmnz (17099)
• New Zealand
18 Jul 17
It sounds like she's taking advantage of you. Stick with your decision and tell her you have no more available time.
Faye
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
2 Jul 17
I know it's hard to do - but I would be tempted to tell her that no - you are working on something else - she can do whatever it is. You are a kind person, and so often instead of respect, kindness is rewarded by users.