Can you tell me what a Closet Friend is?
August 13, 2017 9:02am CST
You get a call from a friend who speaks to you in a quiet whisper voice. It's because he doesn't want his wife to know he is on the phone talking to his closet friend. I am not talking about gay friends. But closet friends. My definition of the term closet friend is as follows: A CLOSET FRIEND IS SOMEBODY YOU ARE FRIENDS WITH BUT YOU DO NOT WANT OTHERS TO KNOW ABOUT IT. another way of putting this in simpler terms that you will understand perfectly. People who are friends on Facebook, who you may actually also know in person, who never come to see you in person but who live close by. They will post a share on your Facebook wall and ask you to like it or share it on your timeline. But, when they are off line, they never even think about coming over to see you in person. I have a few friends who are closet friends. These friends will tell their brothers and sisters and other friends that they don't associate with you, but then they will turn around and call you up and talk for hours as if you are their best friend in the whole world. And they will speak to you in confidence. I can't say that friends like this are the same as what I call those who you merely socialize with but are pretending to be a friend only because that's what they want you to think even though they would be personally embarrassed if their other friends knew anything about this closet friendship. The term closet friend could have more than one connotation but in this particular discussion it is not about gay. Most of my friends in the 3-D world of in your face reality, are straight. But when it comes to being your friend and talking to you on the phone, but never coming over to see you in person, who's wife may even want to ignore your calls is what I call a closet friendship. I am in fact straight, but then I do have a condition and that is an emotional mood swing disorder called bipolar 1. Yes, society has made it abundantly clear that there is a definite stigma attached to bipolar disorder. This is as bad as the one that is also associated with the one that causes people to act standoffish if they are straight and with their straight friends, who shun gay people but then this person might act with you normally as if there is nothing wrong with you being gay or in my case, bipolar. Well, I know that this disorder is not normal and it has to be taken care of with medications and CBT therapy sessions. I used to be normal in my opinion but when I was diagnosed I was manic at the time and very talkative. People who are famous get by with being different because they are celebrities. People who you may know who have some kind of disorder, like epilepsy, cerebral palsy, sterge webber syndrome, mood swing disorders or even low self esteme, are all subject to this Closet Friendship issue. I must admit it has been very difficult for me to adjust. I once was verbally assaulted online just because of my last name being Davis. The other person rejected me because he was a racist who hated Jews. And for the reason of being different, not a White Anglo Saxon Protestant, but a Catholic, with a Jewish last name, I was basically not only condemned as a person of equal value but rejected as a chess opponent online. I am not Jewish by the way but I do not judge Jews or gays or people with disorders like the ones I mentioned earlier. I do not fake it when I call a person a friend but then, I have had to come to accept that by being different makes it hard for others who do not understand why I am different and tend to stand in judgement of my condition as a basis for their being a closet friend, tells me that society as a whole is like that. Society being full of racial and political and social profiling based on the public media and news will never be able to transform into a society that has true values that would lead to world peace. As long as we live a lie, saying this person is my friend to one's self but being unwilling to say it to others, is a very good indication of where the world of social media and politics has diverted itself to becoming. One thing is clear though, that needs to be pointed out ... One can never have too many friends!
4 people like this
• St. Catharines, Ontario
13 Aug 17
I don't know if I have any of those, but your discussion reminded me of when I was a teenager we had the one phone (as most people did back then) in the hall. It was a wall phone and next to the closet. Sometimes I'd sit in the closet when talking on the phone. There wasn't a chair in there, just a pile of stuff on the floor that I could sit on.