What Are You Getting Out of It?

United States
August 14, 2017 4:49am CST
That's the question my therapist asked me when I told her how bad my panic attacks are becoming. "What are you getting out of it?" Like I have any control over it and am just panicking nonstop for the attention, or an excuse to not have to deal with reality. She's not the first therapist who has asked me this. The last one I saw said the same thing and told me I was a drama queen. I never returned to her after that and I'm considering giving up on therapy again. It's despicable that mental health professionals treat patients this way. It seems like whenever I reveal how bad my illness is they always treat me like I'm just acting or making things up. My therapist also claimed I just have a mild case of anxiety. If nonstop panic attacks, which have included countless trips to the ER because I thought I was dying, counts as a "mild case," I don't want to know what they consider a severe case. My former primary doctor diagnosed me with severe anxiety. Not mild. This is why people with mental health issues often don't reach out for help. The people who are supposed to help us are poorly qualified and make assumptions about us which are insulting. My therapist seems more intent on trying to force me to get a job outside the home (I work as a freelancer but she acts like I don't work at all) rather than dealing with the issues that are causing my illnesses. I have major depressive disorder, panic disorder, general anxiety, OCD, and I'm pretty damn sure I have PTSD which no one will ever diagnose. If a cancer patient went to the doctor and their solution was "you just need to get a job" and they asked the patient what they got out of being sick, people would be outraged. I don't know why it's acceptable for mental illness to be treated this way.
8 people like this
11 responses
@andriaperry (50777)
• United States
14 Aug
I agree! There are so many azzholes in this world and they most certainly do not need to be in the mental health field. Please dont give up. You will find someone that will help you. My tenant finally got a doctor and she is now on Paxil and doing awesome. Next time one asks " what do you get out of it? Tell them a trip to the e.r.
2 people like this
• United States
14 Aug
I am going to talk to my regular doctor and maybe just let her treat it medically. I have had bad experiences with antidepressants in the past and was hoping to avoid them again, but I'm at the point where I know if this goes on I need to be on something, even temporarily. The last couple days have been good days, but the whole week or so before that was just nonstop panic. I can't keep living that way... I would take medication for any other type of health issue if it was required to manage it, so this should be treated no differently.
• Philippines
14 Aug
Be strong my friend, then you will need to find a better therapist. We don't know what you are going through but don't give up on life.
2 people like this
@vsai2008 (7835)
• India
14 Aug
Calm yourself, you can be your biggest help. I hope you feel better and give it a good thought on what to do, with peace of mind
2 people like this
@SanyoSan (513)
• Sri Lanka
14 Aug
Kay. The way they said it might be wrong, but you need to practice patience. A helpful tip for you; Whenever you're outraged, make words your release point. But for a change, type it instead of shouting. Get it all out of your mind. Gradually, you'll become calmer and a cool person
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (50777)
• United States
14 Aug
Panic attacks are not being mad or outraged. When one has a panic attack they cannot breath and feel like they are having a heart attack with tremendous fear, the fear is what actually triggers the attack.
2 people like this
@SanyoSan (513)
• Sri Lanka
14 Aug
@andriaperry Oh I'm the joke of the year
• United States
6 Oct
That is outrageous. It's so low of them that I... I'm speechless. I'm sorry that you had to have that experience. Such an ignorant and messed up thing to say. Unbelievable.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Oct
Thank you. I was shocked and didn't know how to respond both times that happened.
1 person likes this
@tzwrites (4913)
• Romania
14 Aug
It could be that they are doing their job for money, not an actual desire to help people.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Aug
This was definitely the case with my last therapist. She had no empathy whatsoever and spent most of our sessions with her nose in her phone.
14 Aug
My personal take on it is that part of the therapist's job is to ask you uncomfortable questions or questions which may make no sense to you, the patient. Their aim is to get you to open up, or to think about the situations you find yourself in and ways in which you can change your mindset. Maybe counselling just doesn't work for you. It didn't work for me and I stopped having it, against the counsellors wishes. I hope you find what works best for you.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Aug
I am sorry this happened and is happening to you Stacy. I dumped quite a few of them..as they treat you like a monkey in a cage.
1 person likes this
@m_audrey6788 (13622)
• Germany
14 Aug
Hi I understand your feelings..I would like to share with you my understanding..I think you just need to relax your body and mind..Every morning when you wake up drink a tap water and try some breathing exercise before having your regular breakfast then if you have a garden you can sit there and relax your mind or try do some gardening..Sometimes, therapist gives you challenging questions in order for them to assess you and see from there what kind of programs they can recommend to help you..Therapist are there to help you gather all the overloaded informations in your mind and step by step organize it...It is not an easy job because most of the time people can not figure it out and gets mad at it ..As the saying goes..Only you can help yourself and others are just support and guidance..Wish you feel better soon..Have a nice day my friend
1 person likes this
@SanyoSan (513)
• Sri Lanka
14 Aug
And when you need to tell something, do post here. We're a helping community. That's how the community guidelines are in guess.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (66128)
• United States
14 Aug
I totally understand this as it happened to me too! I walked out and never returned to that therapist. They really don't help most the time.
• United States
14 Aug
I felt like walking out! They really don't help. Instead of trying to help me cope with my issues she focuses on weird stuff and comes to weird conclusions about my life that aren't even accurate. So freaking frustrating!
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (66128)
• United States
14 Aug
@Srbageldog oh my god yes! Its like they want to say how we and our lives are, instead of listen to how it actually is and help.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Aug
@Courtlynn Exactly! She's come up with some really bizarre assumptions and her whole treatment goal seems to be to force me to get a "real" job (I don't know why people act like writing isn't a "real" job) when that's not why I'm going to her... The treatment plan was supposed to be to help me to get my anxiety under control and I'm supposed to write in a journal to do that, but she never follows up on that at all. She was a better therapist before she got promoted to a supervisor position -- now she seems more abrupt and like she lost her empathy.
1 person likes this