Privacy Invasion
@melindataylor22 (959)
Waltham, Massachusetts
August 17, 2017 12:46pm CST
Something that has caused problems between my ex-girlfriend and I is that she has invaded my privacy. She has read things on my phone and laptop without my permission and then been upset about what she found. It has caused arguments between us. I have told her not to do it and I do not do that to her or to anyone. It has caused her to have trust issues with me too. I do not tell her everything though I tell her most things. She has found out things I did not tell her this way. She also does not like that I have told friends things about her and our relationship. My closest friends are people that I can talk to about anything and that is how it has always been for me. It is all the more reason why it is better that we are just friends. Have others experienced this and what do you think?
5 people like this
6 responses
@skydream (1446)
• Agate, Colorado
17 Aug 17
Well with the experience I haven't really because my boyfriend and I both use each others phones and know the passwords. If we need to look something up or want to take a pic we just grab whoever's phone is closest or has the most battery, he's used my computer so with that we don't really have that issue. We had the issue of me findinng something out on something else other than him telling me and it caused a fight so i can understand your ex's position with that depending what it was. I tell my boyfriend everythign so if he didn't tell me everything I would be a little upset too.
With the friend thing I think it would depend on the person, it's fair for you to talk to your friends about your problems but if the other person gets upset and wants it between y'all then that's something you should take into account.
2 people like this
@melindataylor22 (959)
• Waltham, Massachusetts
17 Aug 17
I can understand where you are coming from and it is good that you have that type of relationship with your boyfriend. It is a complex situation and that makes it challenging to navigate the best compromise between both sides. It may be a sign that my ex and I did not have the kind of relationship that you have and that we are better off as friends.
@Courtlynn (66921)
• United States
17 Aug 17
Unfortunately, she has every right to be mad for you lying. Lying for any reason, is bad. Even over the "little things". And especially when in a relationship.
Yes, maybe she shouldn't go into your stuff; but if she didn't she'd be clueless over whatever the lies are and be looking like a fool.
2 people like this
@melindataylor22 (959)
• Waltham, Massachusetts
17 Aug 17
I understand where you are coming from and it is a complex situation.
@TiarasOceanView (70035)
• United States
17 Aug 17
I have not experienced that and I am sorry you have.
Maybe secure your stuff better so that no one can invade.
1 person likes this
@melindataylor22 (959)
• Waltham, Massachusetts
17 Aug 17
I am glad that you have not experienced that and she is good with phones so that would be hard to do.
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70035)
• United States
17 Aug 17
@melindataylor22 Oh I see what you mean..keep your phone on you maybe then. But there was no cheating right so why would she be mad?
1 person likes this
@melindataylor22 (959)
• Waltham, Massachusetts
17 Aug 17
@TiarasOceanView I am going to delete some texts after some time has passed. She read something early on in the relationship when we were together where the ex before her and I were trying to figure out if we still had feelings for each other or not. I also wanted to work as a professional cuddler which I have done in the past. She had me cut off all ties with that ex and promise not to do that work. It is better for us to be friends because we both have things to work through.
1 person likes this
@sabtraversa (12938)
• Italy
17 Aug 17
Yes, trust is very important in a relationship. If my partner grabs my phone to read the conversations I have with others, that shows a lot of insecurity. 
I had similar problems with my boyfriend. We agreed on always tell the truth, now he complains I'm too honest and often hurt his feelings, but hey, it's either black or white when it comes to honesty. 
I had similar problems with my boyfriend. We agreed on always tell the truth, now he complains I'm too honest and often hurt his feelings, but hey, it's either black or white when it comes to honesty. 1 person likes this
@melindataylor22 (959)
• Waltham, Massachusetts
17 Aug 17
That is true and poses its challenges. It is difficult to find the best balance on how to do these things.
1 person likes this
@melindataylor22 (959)
• Waltham, Massachusetts
17 Aug 17
I agree that everyone needs their space and we are still friends.
1 person likes this
@melindataylor22 (959)
• Waltham, Massachusetts
17 Aug 17
@Plethos I do not know what will happen but that would be ideal for sure.
1 person likes this
@Plethos (13560)
• United States
17 Aug 17
@melindataylor22 - may the next gf be a trusting one.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
17 Aug 17
I checked my x's phone and I guess you could say invaded his privacy but that is how I found out he was cheating on me with his x. I have no regrets doing it because he was making a fool of me and I deserved to know. I would have no problem with my fiance reading anything I write or tell others because I have nothing to hide.
1 person likes this
@melindataylor22 (959)
• Waltham, Massachusetts
17 Aug 17
I can see your side and hers though we may disagree. There is always more than 1 side to a story. I did not cheat but I tried to do some work people find controversial and I was trying to figure out if I still had feelings for my ex. It is a complex situation.
1 person likes this
