Mira's battle part 2

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Bringing Mira home from the hospital was an extreme challenge. She came home on a heart monitor and Every time she burped or farted, her heart rate dropped, settting off the alarm. The alarm I was used to hearing but this time, I didn't have a nurse walking over to tell me that everything was alright. I used the stethoscope the hospital sent me home with to listen to her heart and lungs every hour, and sleep was nearly impossible. Thankfully I lived with my mom, my two brothers and my older sister. My grandmother on my moms side was a nurse so both my mom and sister both had experience giving basic medical care and learning how to do some medical care. Even though my mom is nearly deaf, she was able to feel the vibrations of Mira's cries and was able to tell when I was overwhelmed and crying as well. My sister was going to school for psychology and was starting to be a car provider for individuals with developmental disabilities, so with their help and reassurance I was able to take breaks when I needed to. My sister also had two kids and my nephew is autistic and had many food allergies so the amount of care and attention that Mira got was constant. The Arizona Early Intervention Program (AZIP) sent out a person to my house twice a month to help monitor her weight and height as well as help me help her reach her milestones to her adjusted age. (Subtracting how early she was from her birth age) Because her immune system was weak, she often fell victim to ear infections and colds, making it difficult to take her outside to play or get her used to socializing. Often she became over stimulated and calming her down was often so much of a challenge that I would have to pass her off to my mom, and if my mom couldn't calm her down, she went to my sister. The funny part about getting her comforted was that the bigger of boobs she was laying on, the calmer she got. (I have the smallest boobs, my mom was the middle size, and my sister was the biggest) Meeting new people was a challenge for her, but soon she became very social and thoroughly enjoyed meeting new people, even though she often had to take breaks so she wouldn't get too stimulated. Every day was a challenge and thanks to state help, I was able to get cash assistance for diapers and wet wipes, and then my sister got certified to do child care through the state and while we lived together, the state paid her to babysit Mira while I started my journey of going to school. After she got off the heart monitor, I began to notice another oddity. Her doctor told me she had an inguinal hernia and it would need surgery to fix it. The day of the surgery, I took her to the children's hospital and while they were getting her under anesthesia and doing the surgery, I was sitting in the waiting room praying that everything would be alright with tears constantly streaming down my face. The doctors came and got me, letting me know that everything went fine and soon she was brought out to me and we went into a recovery room. We spent three days in the children's hospital to monitor her and her cries of pain were almost too much to bear. The nurses were kind and did what they could to make her comfortable but the only thing that helped her on a regular basis was watching footage of fish with calm music and rocking her in a warm blanket. When I took her home I hid my frustration, fears and my self-destructive thoughts about being a terrible parent behind jokes of matching c- section scars. Mira's recovery eventually went well and she was back to her happy, feisty self. Eventually she began meeting some milestones early, but muscle growth was slow. Even though she was on a high calorie formula she always looked half her age, and she was so small the her size made it difficult to get her to reach the standing and walking milestones. She didn't start walking until she was a year and 3 months old. The entire time though she was a happy and feisty little girl with a whole bunch of attitude. She loved crawling into the big dollhouse and sleeping in it, and when we weren't looking she snuck into the dog kennel for our chihuahua's and chowed down on the dog food. Her journey was still going to be more difficult then I knew, but with all the struggles, every day I grew stronger, a little smarter and I had no clue how far both of us would eventually come.