Are young relationships the same everywhere?
By Sally vinall
October 24, 2017 1:04pm CST
This weekend consisted of me taking in my friend and her 2 children from Friday to Monday, why? Because like me , her and probably 80% of females my age that I know, talk to, or heard about (although can not be fact and maybe just rumour) but I personally know of a fair amount who have picked the same sort of guy, or been through the same stuff in relationships, it got me thinking do girls around the world go though this? Are a fair amount of men around the world the same? It's just seems very typical round here in the U.K. (Where I'm from anyway)? So, please do not take any offence to what I'm saying I'm just speaking from personal experience and a lot of people I know. I no not all men are this way and not all relationships are this way, my experience - I fall in love with a guy who I think is amazing at a young at age, as time goes on, you start not seeing your friends like you did, you want to spend all your time with the guy, your in love and no body can tell u this guy is not amazing, little things start happening, gradually, and argument will get out of hand and he unexpectedly grabs you, strangled you, pushes you, something minor that you forgive and put it down to "the heat of the moment" you carry on as usual except every now and then those argument gradually get worse and the minor incidents slowly start getting more severe every time, weather your both at each other, someone says something terrible and it all breaks loose, someone rings the police and you cry, not because your hurt but because you know "he's sorry" and you can't be without him, I must of provoked him? I did say some terrible stuff to hurt him? I should of just walk out and let him calm down? So technically it's my fault to, .... sad right? I know, but it gets worst, you fall pregnant and you have this picture in your mind of how amazing it's going to be, how your both going to have this perfect family, the argument get less physical or more physical depending on people I've spoke to, me it was less as I was pregnant maybe because we both had this perfect picture in our heads, accept the baby comes, and what you thought was amazing has now turned your life upside down and it breaks your heart, the perfect family in reality is a young mum who no longer sees her friends, distant from her family because they no he's bad and probably got so fed up of you goin back that they've stepped back, your "perfect" boyfriend and daddy in fact doesn't do night feeds, barely even flinches when there crying every 2 hours, doesn't do much to help you in any way, leaves you with the cleaning the bottle making the baths the colic the winding for an hour just incase, every aspect, slowly the stress of you begging them to help causes more argument the physical side comes back, the stress of a newborn sends him out with his friends, anywhere but at home helping you with his child, he goes on nights out, plays his computer, sees his friends still has the same life but the women stays in, looks after there child/ren post wonderful stuff on social media once you've not argued for 24 hours declaring that how perfect her family is, now the violence and arguin is down to a newborn and will get better once the child's grows a bit, of course not, it gets worse maybe you get pregnant again go through the same thing and hope it works out this time, once we have this one to, we won't need anymore, it will be stressful but once we're through it, we can be that perfect happy family we wanted, right?, no, things carry on the same, and you keep running back until one day you realise that being on your own with the kids without the arguing and begging for him to listen is also much easier, your actually happy, you slowly rekindle your relationships with friends and family and life seems so much better, but , nobody wants to be a crazy cat lady , am I wrong? But why would anyone risk going through that all over again? but hey you've been through it once you wouldn't do it again, so you think, if love blinded you from your previous partners abuse and lack of respect love can do that again, so now you have this massive guard up, wanting a boyfriend but not wanting a boyfriend, lonely but enjoying your own company without worrying about someone else, it's draining, and this may seem crazy to some people, but like I said, I know a ridiculous amount of girls my age (24) and younger that go through this, have been through this and know other girls who have it exactly the same, some people say that she men for you? But also like I said I know full well that there are plenty of men the complete opposite, I'm sort of referring to my age range, falling in love at an early age in this day and age, have you? Or know anybody going through the same? Is it typical in other peoples region to? Is it just a uk thing? Not all men like I keep saying, I don't intend to cause offence, I'm just curious as it seems so common these days.
2 people like this
• Aberystwyth, Wales
Thanks for for reply, I was just curios as to the answers really, I thought to myself, is this just one of those things that happen to most girls, is there something specific that causes this to happen, like Jennifer said ?? Jumping to fast in to a relationship? Low self confidence? Being easily lead? Surroundings or childhood maybe, I do think it a few things myself, falling to fast mainly, getting in to deep without knowing the ins and outs of someone, hence why a lot of these girls say, I'm staying for the kids sake, they need a proper family is a common one, when I'f you would of protected yourself better and got to know every side of the guy before having kids you wouldn't have that excuse to use
• Jacksonville, Florida
I think it is common and a lot of it is jumping in too fast before actually getting to know each other. My husband and I lived together for a year before getting married. I think this is the best way to do things because we got to see the good, the bad and the ugly before saying I do. I picked many "wrong guys" before finding my husband though and my mistake every time was falling too fast before really knowing the guy and accepting things that I should have never accepted. The first time an argument turns physical the answer is to run and fast-no matter how "sorry" they are. If it happened once it WILL happen again. And getting pregnant before knowing someone is the worst idea in the world. You just never know if the guy will stay or go. Most do leave...