Have you ever been depressed or anxious?
November 11, 2017 6:01am CST
I've gone through so many things since my last post, I've experienced joys and tribulations. This year by far has been the most difficult. Although I keep my heart grateful, having been married for three years and having had no children is such a trial. I've always been a positive person, and no matter how many trials I've gone through I've been able to keep my faith and positivity. This feeling of being barren though, it can get too much. However, I tried so hard not to let the negative emotions break me. But this year, it finally got to me, I went through a severe depression and anxiety that I cut my hair short, I felt like I was a waste of space. I can't begin to describe how hard it was to function. It's sad to think that I used to be one of those people who would think that depression and anxiety is just a matter of choosing how you feel. But it isn't, no matter how hard you try to think positive, you just can't shake the feeling of uselessness, the dread for something wrong to happen, the sinking feeling that you're going to be left alone, the choking feeling of not knowing what's wrong with you. And the worst part is when you've been that crazy strong woman who could handle anything that you can't tell your family or friends about what you're going through because you're pretty sure they'll just tell you to "choose positivity", "it's just in your mind", etc. And you know this because you used to say it yourself. My husband was my life-line. If not for him, I would have succumbed to the negative emotions that controlled me. I wouldn't say I'm completely okay now but I'm getting there. Some days, anxiety would still grip me but I've learned to function even with it. How about you guys, have you gone through this?
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We're trying to conceive and I'm hoping I can stay positive because I also fear my negative emotions will affect my chances of getting pregnant. I'm happy for you though, I fervently hope that I will be blessed in the same way someday too.