Jewelry and Courting
By Darcy Nemo
@YrNemo (20261)
December 3, 2017 3:37am CST
A family friend, an Italian 30ish guy (in IT) was seriously courting an Italian girl (a butterfly type, quite pretty, working in admin for some embassy).
He bought her as gifts during this courting period, lots of gold jewelry. Seems as it is a custom among the Italians to court with jewelry. If the girl accepts the jewelry, it means she is accepting him.
They were discussing wedding and where to live after their marriage, when suddenly the whole thing was off. She said she thought they were just friends.
She didn't return the jewelry however. Should she if she has rejected the guy?
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Is jewelry involved in courtship where you live?
18 people like this
18 responses
@ilocosboy (45157)
• Philippines
3 Dec 17
He he, she's after the jewelry and she just got one
2 people like this
@hereandthere (45651)
• Philippines
3 Dec 17
@YrNemo oh, i hope he didn't get into debt after all that
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (20261)
•
3 Dec 17
@hereandthere That was just the beginning of his unlucky period! Soon after, he did some risky investment (we advised him NOT to do it) but he was in a strange mood after that breakup. Well, he lost 20 to 50 thousand dollars in one go. The poor guy. (He is quite OK financially. Just unlucky a bit!)
1 person likes this
both parties should have clarified what they wanted form each other@YrNemo (20261)
•
4 Dec 17
@lady1993 Sometimes that rule doesn't apply to some people. I have seen some who spent their whole life conning or using others. These bad people are enjoying their life even now, at the age of 80+, with lots of money to go here there everywhere for holiday. I heard them laughing chatting with each other, saying, there is no such thing as God or Karma!
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (20261)
•
3 Dec 17
But he was courting her with the approval of their parents. Guess he was so sure of her? (They did talk about marriage and we were supposed to attend.)
I feel terrible the fact that she smilingly said goodbye to him after getting lots of expensive stuff. That guy was unlucky.
I feel terrible the fact that she smilingly said goodbye to him after getting lots of expensive stuff. That guy was unlucky.
@Ithink (9980)
• United States
4 Jan 18
Yes jumping way back in your discussions. 
Just realized I hadn't seen and replied to many. So here I am!! LOL!! That said, here if you get gifts they are considered yours, but I think that most knows what is happening and knows when someone is interested like that. I personally think it is wrong to keep things and to me it screams user.
Just realized I hadn't seen and replied to many. So here I am!! LOL!! That said, here if you get gifts they are considered yours, but I think that most knows what is happening and knows when someone is interested like that. I personally think it is wrong to keep things and to me it screams user.1 person likes this
@YrNemo (20261)
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3 Dec 17
I know what you mean about 'gifts are gifts'. I have pretty relatives who happily pocketed all those wonderful gifts from admirers. Their argument was: 'hey, I didn't ask for them. He gave me. If I didn't accept those pretty things, he would likely give them away to someone else anyway.'
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
4 Dec 17
Jewelry was never involved with my courtships, the jewelry came came with the marriage.
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
4 Jan 18
@YrNemo That's true and not true, I ended up with a fabulous husband and to answer your question, I think she should have given the gold back.... But she might have been just interested in the gold to begin with.... Then you have to wonder if she is just fake or looking to her future without him....liking the gold. We will never know...
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
3 Dec 17
Wow. I think I want an Italian boyfriend now.
No jewelry custom here, other than promise rings, and then engagement/wedding rings
I think he should have asked for it back.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
4 Jan 18
@YrNemo Poor guy, I feel bad for him. Now he will be more cautious in future. But hopefully will still spoil the right girl
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (20261)
•
6 Jan 18
@FayeHazel I feel embarrassed now. I gave you a wrong reply (thought I was in another discussion). I had no choice but to delete my comment, but that took your comment away too.
I hope he met a nice girl too (I tell you something, he is not an easy guy, nice, but fussy. Sometimes I wonder if that young lady realized suddenly that he was going to restrict her from going to dancing, parties, and that was why she decided to run.)
1 person likes this
@averygirl72 (37726)
• Philippines
4 Dec 17
She should return the jewelry but maybe she like to keep it but not the man. I think jewelry is not involve in courtship here maybe just flowers and chocolates
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (20261)
•
4 Jan 18
That guy was courting her with the blessing from the parents from both sides. A pity that he had wasted his money and time in exchange for heartache.
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
6 Dec 17
Sounds like she was a gold digger literally. For a birthday or Christmas, a gift of jewelry could be acceptable from a friend but nothing else to my way of thinking.
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11121)
• Malaysia
4 Dec 17
Wow, wouldn't that make it easy for girls to take advantage if it's a custom to court with jewelry? Jewelry is only given as engagement and wedding gifts here, not before.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66857)
• Philippines
4 Dec 17
giving of jewelry as gifts do not resume the guy is courting the lady. besides, the man should say to the lady that he is courting her.
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (20261)
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4 Jan 18
Their courting was arranged between the two families. They were very close to set the date for the wedding. (She should return the jewelry if she didn't want to go ahead with the marriage anymore, right?)
@GardenGerty (157551)
• United States
3 Dec 17
If someone were buying me jewelry I would know they were more than just friends. However, if the jewelry is given as gifts, it is hers. An engagement ring, if given, I believe, should be returned if the marriage is cancelled.
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (20261)
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4 Jan 18
It would be uncomfortable to receive jewelry (lots) from just friends I think (unless the receivers give some gifts back with similar value, how do you think?)
@shivamani10 (11038)
• Hyderabad, India
3 Dec 17
In India, after the both convey their acceptance there will be an exchange of some gold jewelry.This is a tradition for some families.
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (20261)
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3 Dec 17
So the future bride also gives the future groom some gold jewelry? I think that is very fair, but, men only wear thick necklaces, calculate the quantity of gold, then the bride's side makes a loss! 
(I am too calculating aren't I! )
(I am too calculating aren't I! )
