Saving Postage, or Has My Aunt Gone Senile and Forgotten We Are No Longer Children Living Under One Roof?
By StacyB
@Srbageldog (7716)
United States
December 17, 2017 2:13am CST
I haven't "lived at home" with my parents in nearly 10 years. Every Christmas since I moved out, my aunt has mailed me and my partner a Christmas card to our own home.
But not this year. She just sent one card to my parents' house and addressed it to my parents and all of us kids, excluding our partners, like we're all still living under one roof. My brothers no longer live at home either, and they have partners now who are part of the family.
I find this very odd, and also disrespectful to my partner and my brothers' partners. I suppose perhaps my aunt was trying to save on postage, (she's too young to be going senile) but why would she suddenly stop sending a holiday card directly to my home and start including me with my parents again after all this time? In my opinion it would be better to just not include me at all, because I do not live there and haven't since my early 20s. Because she did this, I am taking her off my Christmas card list this year (I also don't have her address anyway, as she's being super secretive about where she lives and just has everything sent to my other aunt's address, which is in another state. Again...weird.)
I can't imagine any relative ever addressing a Christmas card to my grandparents and just including my mom and her siblings in that one card, excluding their partners and children, when they had all grown up and had lives and families of their own. And if someone had done that, they would have been pretty ticked off about it, because what the hell?
I mean, I guess it's nice she thought of me, although had my sister not mentioned it I would have never known. But I really hate being lumped all together like we never grew up and all of us "kids" (now all in our 30s and late 20s) are still living at home. I also don't like that our partners are now suddenly being excluded; I think that's rude.
Have you ever had a relative who did something like this?
7 people like this
8 responses
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
17 Dec 17
They are becoming more rare here in the U.S. too. The only time I ever get greetings in the mail is during the holiday season, and sometimes my birthday. But every year it becomes less and less.
1 person likes this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
17 Dec 17
None of mine had ever done that either until this year.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (137238)
• Philippines
17 Dec 17
@Srbageldog Is she having an Alzheimer's disease? This can be acceptable if she does this kind of behavior. I hope it is not. The family and I were so blessed to have my granny. I hope she will live longer years.
1 person likes this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
18 Dec 17
@Shavkat I don't think so...no one in our family has had that, and she is still fairly young. I think she is just trying to avoid paying extra postage so just sent one card addressed to all of us, even though we are not all part of the same household.
1 person likes this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
17 Dec 17
Congrats to your granny for reaching 99 years of age! That is impressive. My aunt is only 47 years old, so much too young to be considered elderly or to be going senile yet. I think she was just being lazy.
2 people like this
@cahaya1983 (11120)
• Malaysia
17 Dec 17
Not exactly the same case as yours, but once a relative sent an invitation card to my parents but also included "and family" in the card. They delivered the card by hand and also mentioned that the invitation was for the entire family (including our spouses and kids). If they had not mentioned that verbally I probably wouldn't have considered attending the event.
2 people like this
@cahaya1983 (11120)
• Malaysia
17 Dec 17
@Srbageldog Yeah I didn't feel like attending at first, but my mom told me they were really expecting everyone in our family to come, so we did.
1 person likes this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
17 Dec 17
It seems odd to just deliver one invitation to your parents like that! Good thing they mentioned that the invitation extended to the entire family, otherwise how would you have known? I personally probably wouldn't attend an event that was delivered that way.
1 person likes this
@rina110383 (24495)
•
17 Dec 17
Can't remember if there was any instance, though I know that my dad's side doesn't like my mom's side and my mom's side doesn't like my dad's relatives.
2 people like this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
17 Dec 17
My dad's side doesn't like my mom (no idea why) and sometimes his family members would just address cards to him and exclude her and us kids. My other aunt never includes my partner when she sends me a card, but at least she mails it to my actual home and not my parents'.
2 people like this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
17 Dec 17
My extended family is huge, but the number of relatives I include in my circle is very small. And I guess it just got smaller. 
1 person likes this
@kavinitu (5535)
• India
22 Dec 17
@Srbageldog True nothing remains like the way it use to be those old days just become beautiful old memories
1 person likes this
@scarlet_woman (23465)
• United States
28 Dec 17
y'wanna talk cheap..when the postage was an odd number they'd give you one cent stamps with whatever it was at the time-so most people chucked them on top of the machine..my brother saved like 45 of those people threwaway and mailed me something.didn't even cost him a cent.
i bet the postal people were pissed at him tho..
i bet the postal people were pissed at him tho..1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (66918)
• United States
17 Dec 17
Nope never. But I'd be a little upset if it did..
1 person likes this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
18 Dec 17
Thank you for getting it. I mean, it's not a huge deal, but just seems very weird that suddenly I'm being lumped in with my siblings (and basically being referred to as "and kids") again. And our partners suddenly being excluded is very rude in my opinion.
1 person likes this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
20 Dec 17
@Courtlynn If my aunt had just always done that, I wouldn't think anything of it. But after a decade of sending me one to my own home, it just seems odd. Only my sister still lives with my mom; one brother is in jail (and will probably be going to prison for at least a few years once he's sentenced) and the other two live with their partners and have lives of their own. So it just seemed....odd, that she would address one card to all of us, like we were still under one roof.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (66918)
• United States
18 Dec 17
@Srbageldog my grandmother will mostly give us our own, even my bf. But sometimes she'll do one just for my mom brither and i. And I dont really care cuz least she though of us, like you said. But she is old and forgets things plus is cheap.
But i get others would be mad.
1 person likes this
