Christmas Will Never Be the same ...

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I have a happy childhood memories of Christmas. Good old times when all of us , kids, parents, aunts and uncles, grandma and grandpa , gathered in our living room enjoying the delectable dishes my aunt and mum prepared, over a light and happy conversation. Times when I and my two siblings got to open our gifts, check what's inside our Christmas socks and who got the most money. We got married and have kids of our own so Christmas and New Years eve were even merrier. Then, grandpa died of old age. We were a bit sad and we missed him durig Christmas holidays and everyday but we survived and outgrew our sadness. A couple of years passed, Gradma, joined him. We seemed have accepted the fact that it was her time to go so we moved on despite our longings . We were still celebrating Christmas and New Year but it is not as happy as it used to be. We all seemd to continue the tradition but there's emptiness inside... Then, my father died because of cancer two months before Christmas It was hard though we tried to live a normal life but it is difficult to ignore the pain. Our first Christmas without him, my mother spent it crying alone in their bedroom. No one had the desire to cook, although we still have food , even such looked sad. The happy conversations faded and seemed like a distant memory. NOw, Christmas is just around the bend, I dread to feel the same sadness again. Ah, Christmas will never be the same again for me...