Meddlesome
By Darcy Nemo
@YrNemo (20261)
December 25, 2017 8:02am CST
He was a pretty successful lawyer who seemed to have everything: his career, a beautiful and loving wife, intelligent and well-behaved children etc. Yet for years, he carried a torch for his former boss' daughter whom he had courted unsuccessful two decades before.
I happened to be quite aware of his search for his crush, who is one of my acquaintances. After gathering enough information from the case (eg, his 'love', the friend groups who know him and the intense courting at the time, the people involved etc), I was a bit puzzled about the intensity of his search.
By the fourth year of his search, I began to feel sorry for the guy and more for his wife. I did try very hard convincing his crush to at least drop him a line, at least just to tell him please not to search for her anymore. 'No can do' was her only answer, the lady said so while curling her lips. (She told me how she has always disliked 'that social climber'!)
When the guy approached me directly, asking for help, I politely 'vetted' him. After learning enough about his sincerity, I tentatively gave him a much kinder scenario, in which his crush might not want to be searched for due to this and that. I gave him enough info about his crush's current status, how happy she was in her marriage, including some info about her children and career etc.
He understood what I meant I think. After thanking me for the info, he told me that he could then begin to move on with his life. That chapter of his past would be closed for good, he said. He told me all this briefly and with dignity, but I could feel his intense pain.
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I thought about that guy every now and then. I wonder at times if I should have let him go on with his search, wishful thinking that somewhere out there, his crush was thinking of him with loving thoughts. I hope the info I gave him was enough to help him return to his wife with all his heart and soul, instead of just giving her some crumbs.
What would you have done if you were in my shoes? Am I too meddlesome?
If you were in the guy's shoes, would you rather not know the truth?
9 people like this
10 responses
@hereandthere (45651)
• Philippines
25 Dec 17
let's hope he did give his all to his wife, instead since his crush seems to detest him. did they ever run into each other?
2 people like this
@hereandthere (45651)
• Philippines
25 Dec 17
@YrNemo some first impressions tend to stick forever. what does she mean by social climber, though? because her family is wealthy?
2 people like this
@YrNemo (20261)
•
25 Dec 17
@hereandthere Sounds like that (re: she comes from a better background). I was not her classmate, just in the same year, so have no clue.
1 person likes this
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@garymarsh6 (23393)
• United Kingdom
26 Dec 17
Of course you did the right thing. Sound like he needed a reality check! Well done you and you did it in such a kind and thoughtful way!
1 person likes this
@garymarsh6 (23393)
• United Kingdom
26 Dec 17
@YrNemo No no no that is not fair on anyone! Best to let him down gently which you did. It can not have been nice for his wife either unless she was oblivious that her husband was actually carrying a torch for someone else!
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (20261)
•
26 Dec 17
I think my decision to help his wife, was partly because one of my relatives at the time, was being treated in the same way as that poor woman. My relative cried a bit, feeling sorry for herself, and I suddenly felt sorry for the wife of that lawyer. (Let hope he didn't turn around, looking for someone else... Some men are naughty that way!)
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11120)
• Malaysia
26 Dec 17
Wow two decades long, with a wife and kids, and he still wanted to search for his crush... I don't think you're meddlesome since you mentioned that he approached you to ask about her, right? I would do the same, I value the family institution too much to encourage a married person to do something like that.
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (20261)
•
26 Dec 17
Let hope the guy moves on with his life, and ends up loving his wife more than ever.
@YrNemo (20261)
•
26 Dec 17
The problem is, he carried a different image of the girl he loved to reality. I was a bit cruelly for helping him re-adjusting his memory but I hope he won't dislike me for it. Sounds like a waste of a life, carrying a torch for someone who tried her best to avoid him. (She thought he was a kind of a joker! He looked decent to me and seemed to be a nice person, from what others told me! Of course, I wouldn't dare tell him that truth.)
@dgobucks226 (34447)
•
3 Jan 18
Well, since he approached you he must of wanted closure. Sometimes it is just as painful to keep wondering what if... At times, it is just best to have a dose of reality.
